Comments on: 3-Year-Old Screamer http://nogreaterjoy.org/articles/3-year-old-screamer/ Over 500 articles from Michael and Debi Pearl on Child Training, Homeschooling, Family, Marriage, Christianity, the Bible, Missions, Simple Living, Gardening, and other topics! Wed, 16 May 2012 15:26:36 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: J http://nogreaterjoy.org/articles/3-year-old-screamer/#comment-6164 J Thu, 09 Feb 2012 19:58:02 +0000 http://new.nogreaterjoy.org/?p=1144#comment-6164 I'm loving the anti-smacking comments on here. See it's not just me NGJ staff! I totally agree that hitting children like this will only destroy their little souls and turn them into aggressive people who know no other way to solve problems. Most of the parents on here who have talked of the "need" to hit their kids have arrived at that point through shoddy parenting. They haven't played with their kids, or supervised them properly, or have expected them to behave like adults even though they are children. Put your children first-don't sit back then hurt your kids to get compliance over them. I’m loving the anti-smacking comments on here. See it’s not just me NGJ staff! I totally agree that hitting children like this will only destroy their little souls and turn them into aggressive people who know no other way to solve problems.
Most of the parents on here who have talked of the “need” to hit their kids have arrived at that point through shoddy parenting. They haven’t played with their kids, or supervised them properly, or have expected them to behave like adults even though they are children. Put your children first-don’t sit back then hurt your kids to get compliance over them.

]]> By: NGJ Staff http://nogreaterjoy.org/articles/3-year-old-screamer/#comment-2065 NGJ Staff Mon, 19 Sep 2011 20:50:12 +0000 http://new.nogreaterjoy.org/?p=1144#comment-2065 I recommend that each of you read the online article I recommend that each of you read the online article

]]> By: Kanadka http://nogreaterjoy.org/articles/3-year-old-screamer/#comment-2064 Kanadka Thu, 08 Sep 2011 17:34:39 +0000 http://new.nogreaterjoy.org/?p=1144#comment-2064 @Shara: I think you were the reason of your son's temper tantrum after the park outing. As a mother you should've recognized that he was tired, probably hungry and addressed those issues rather than giving him a spanking. No wonder he is an angry kid! I would be angry too if the person who is supposed to understand me, take care of my needs and teach me how to deal with my frustrations (in a loving way) punishes me for expressing my anger! It is possible to discipline your children without spanking them. @ Stephenie - naturally kids want to please their parents and obey them IF they have a good relationship with them. What you are describing sounds to me like a child who is either tired, hungry, sleepy or not feeling well. In that case I would just give that kid a big hug and try to figure our what is bothering her. Why do you want her to obey you right in that instant? Is it a power struggle for you? Are you trying to prove to her that you are an adult and in control? Well, she knows that already and you know that too. @Shara: I think you were the reason of your son’s temper tantrum after the park outing. As a mother you should’ve recognized that he was tired, probably hungry and addressed those issues rather than giving him a spanking. No wonder he is an angry kid! I would be angry too if the person who is supposed to understand me, take care of my needs and teach me how to deal with my frustrations (in a loving way) punishes me for expressing my anger! It is possible to discipline your children without spanking them.
@ Stephenie – naturally kids want to please their parents and obey them IF they have a good relationship with them. What you are describing sounds to me like a child who is either tired, hungry, sleepy or not feeling well. In that case I would just give that kid a big hug and try to figure our what is bothering her. Why do you want her to obey you right in that instant? Is it a power struggle for you? Are you trying to prove to her that you are an adult and in control? Well, she knows that already and you know that too.

]]> By: Shara http://nogreaterjoy.org/articles/3-year-old-screamer/#comment-2063 Shara Fri, 03 Jun 2011 17:01:56 +0000 http://new.nogreaterjoy.org/?p=1144#comment-2063 Stephanie -- my older boy, who is now three, used to do what you describe. Sobbing like his little heart was broken and nothing was right in this world. It took a long time for us to realize he was throwing fits, and I am just now learning to get his anger and rebellion under control, so I have no help for you. However, I thought I would tell you what became of my son by now. Now, when he is angry, he throws things, screams, smacks his one-year-old brother, and glares at me something awful. He has really turned into a monster who no one wants to be around. I am now having to learn to be consistent and fair to a big, angry three-year-old, and I wish I had started when he was much younger. Today I was talking to him. I took my boys and the dog to the park, to burn off some energy. Two hours passed and both kids were tired. My older guy refused to hold my hand and screamed and kicked the whole way home. I held his hand and kept walking. Nothing was more embarrassing than that, but I refused to show him. I kept reminding myself, "You are Mom... you are Mom." I did tell him he would get a spanking at home. And he got one. When he calmed down, I looked into the boys' room and he was glaring out the door, so he got another spanking. Afterward I could see something inside him change, and he said he was sorry for his behavior. I told him being angry is not good, you can't be happy when you are angry. Then we prayed for God to help remove that ugly anger from us so we could be happy together. Now he is asleep. I have written on a paper on my wall, "Don't worry about the war... win every battle". Stephanie — my older boy, who is now three, used to do what you describe. Sobbing like his little heart was broken and nothing was right in this world. It took a long time for us to realize he was throwing fits, and I am just now learning to get his anger and rebellion under control, so I have no help for you. However, I thought I would tell you what became of my son by now. Now, when he is angry, he throws things, screams, smacks his one-year-old brother, and glares at me something awful. He has really turned into a monster who no one wants to be around. I am now having to learn to be consistent and fair to a big, angry three-year-old, and I wish I had started when he was much younger.

Today I was talking to him. I took my boys and the dog to the park, to burn off some energy. Two hours passed and both kids were tired. My older guy refused to hold my hand and screamed and kicked the whole way home. I held his hand and kept walking. Nothing was more embarrassing than that, but I refused to show him. I kept reminding myself, “You are Mom… you are Mom.” I did tell him he would get a spanking at home.

And he got one. When he calmed down, I looked into the boys’ room and he was glaring out the door, so he got another spanking. Afterward I could see something inside him change, and he said he was sorry for his behavior. I told him being angry is not good, you can’t be happy when you are angry. Then we prayed for God to help remove that ugly anger from us so we could be happy together. Now he is asleep. I have written on a paper on my wall, “Don’t worry about the war… win every battle”.

]]> By: Stephenie http://nogreaterjoy.org/articles/3-year-old-screamer/#comment-2062 Stephenie Mon, 28 Feb 2011 22:20:29 +0000 http://new.nogreaterjoy.org/?p=1144#comment-2062 Help! Do you also train a child who throws fits by crying in the same way? I give her time to settle down in between each episode, once she has stopped crying and has a happy countenance I ask her again to obey. She will then start crying again....and on and on it goes. Any advice? Help! Do you also train a child who throws fits by crying in the same way? I give her time to settle down in between each episode, once she has stopped crying and has a happy countenance I ask her again to obey. She will then start crying again….and on and on it goes. Any advice?

]]> By: Hannah Oberbeck http://nogreaterjoy.org/articles/3-year-old-screamer/#comment-2061 Hannah Oberbeck Tue, 04 Jan 2011 20:59:16 +0000 http://new.nogreaterjoy.org/?p=1144#comment-2061 What about when it is a one year old screaming? Is the switch still the appropriate tool? And what if when she is swatted her screaming escalates? Then what do you do? What about when it is a one year old screaming? Is the switch still the appropriate tool? And what if when she is swatted her screaming escalates? Then what do you do?

]]> By: Christina http://nogreaterjoy.org/articles/3-year-old-screamer/#comment-2060 Christina Thu, 29 Jul 2010 23:41:11 +0000 http://new.nogreaterjoy.org/?p=1144#comment-2060 As a parent you need to always be asseessing your child's behavior. TS, you said that your child often screams because she is scared or overwhelmed. Well that is different than if she is trying to control you or her siblings with screaming. Although having said that, children should also learn to let their parents know they are scared by telling them and not screaming about it. Another thing that I have noticed that many parents do is they coddle their childern too much and fuss too much about what scares or overwhelms them. Many times I believe parents exasperate the problem instead of helping their children understand things are not as scary as they might seem or to help them calm down or learn to handle their emotions, in other words, learn self-control which is corrected by biblical chastisement . On your comment Jessica, yes children are human and understand more and that is why we talk to them, love them, pray with them, read to them, teach them and yes also chastise them. Firmness and consistency in training or disciplining our children is love. A wishy-washy parent is not looking out for their child's best interest or really loving them. The Pearls talk about the fact that we want to reach the heart of the child and that we don't just want conformity on the outside. They also talk a lot about cultivating joy, fellowship, and many fun and exciting memories with your children. You said this "way' of raising children leads to spousal abuse, anger problems and trouble socially. If this is what you think then you are ill informed and we are not talking about the same "way". Spanking the world's way- in anger, inconsistently, only when your cup is full, not applying God's other instructions to raising and training children- can lead to the things you mentioned and many times do. The research you are talking about is the "wisdom" of this world and that is foolishness with God. As a parent you need to always be asseessing your child’s behavior. TS, you said that your child often screams because she is scared or overwhelmed. Well that is different than if she is trying to control you or her siblings with screaming. Although having said that, children should also learn to let their parents know they are scared by telling them and not screaming about it. Another thing that I have noticed that many parents do is they coddle their childern too much and fuss too much about what scares or overwhelms them. Many times I believe parents exasperate the problem instead of helping their children understand things are not as scary as they might seem or to help them calm down or learn to handle their emotions, in other words, learn self-control which is corrected by biblical chastisement . On your comment Jessica, yes children are human and understand more and that is why we talk to them, love them, pray with them, read to them, teach them and yes also chastise them. Firmness and consistency in training or disciplining our children is love. A wishy-washy parent is not looking out for their child’s best interest or really loving them. The Pearls talk about the fact that we want to reach the heart of the child and that we don’t just want conformity on the outside. They also talk a lot about cultivating joy, fellowship, and many fun and exciting memories with your children. You said this “way’ of raising children leads to spousal abuse, anger problems and trouble socially. If this is what you think then you are ill informed and we are not talking about the same “way”. Spanking the world’s way- in anger, inconsistently, only when your cup is full, not applying God’s other instructions to raising and training children- can lead to the things you mentioned and many times do. The research you are talking about is the “wisdom” of this world and that is foolishness with God.

]]> By: Mel http://nogreaterjoy.org/articles/3-year-old-screamer/#comment-2059 Mel Mon, 17 May 2010 22:19:35 +0000 http://new.nogreaterjoy.org/?p=1144#comment-2059 I think this method works well when paired up with the 1-2-3 magic book.It began to work within a week. My son used to have screaming fits (He's 3 1/2). I paired this up with spanking and now he's stopped many behaviors. So, yes spanking does work. I have known parents that did not believe in spanking (yes I was one of them) and noticed the kids were misbehaving in and out of school. So I am thankful to see this article! Thanks! Mel- I think this method works well when paired up with the 1-2-3 magic book.It began to work within a week. My son used to have screaming fits (He’s 3 1/2). I paired this up with spanking and now he’s stopped many behaviors. So, yes spanking does work. I have known parents that did not believe in spanking (yes I was one of them) and noticed the kids were misbehaving in and out of school.
So I am thankful to see this article!

Thanks!
Mel-

]]> By: Pat http://nogreaterjoy.org/articles/3-year-old-screamer/#comment-2058 Pat Tue, 30 Mar 2010 20:21:00 +0000 http://new.nogreaterjoy.org/?p=1144#comment-2058 Dear Jessica, Dogs are not human. For further research consult an encyclopedia. Children can understand more than you know, and teaching them this way will lead to spousal abuse, anger issues later on and trouble socially. Look it up. Dear Jessica,
Dogs are not human. For further research consult an encyclopedia. Children can understand more than you know, and teaching them this way will lead to spousal abuse, anger issues later on and trouble socially. Look it up.

]]> By: Jessica http://nogreaterjoy.org/articles/3-year-old-screamer/#comment-2057 Jessica Mon, 08 Mar 2010 23:51:42 +0000 http://new.nogreaterjoy.org/?p=1144#comment-2057 Dear TS, You are right they are not dogs. If they were, we would have them trained while they were still puppies. Why is it that we can train our dogs to listen and yet children get sympathy and warnings? It's our emotions getting in the way of what is right. Thank God for the Pearl's. I am thankful that they have the guts to share God's way with us! Dear TS,
You are right they are not dogs. If they were, we would have them trained while they were still puppies. Why is it that we can train our dogs to listen and yet children get sympathy and warnings? It’s our emotions getting in the way of what is right. Thank God for the Pearl’s. I am thankful that they have the guts to share God’s way with us!

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