Comments on: Abusive Husband http://nogreaterjoy.org/articles/abusive-husband/ Over 500 articles from Michael and Debi Pearl on Child Training, Homeschooling, Family, Marriage, Christianity, the Bible, Missions, Simple Living, Gardening, and other topics! Wed, 16 May 2012 15:26:36 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Marie http://nogreaterjoy.org/articles/abusive-husband/#comment-10796 Marie Sat, 12 May 2012 16:12:02 +0000 http://new.nogreaterjoy.org/?p=3584#comment-10796 Actually in most places in the US a person who is arrested for DV on a first offense will typically be able to make bond, Yes there is a restraining order until the first court date, but restraining orders aren't forts. Abusers have been known to kill or harm the person even with a restraining order. About 2yrs ago my mother called the police on my husband when he had become completely out of control. I was 6wks pregnant with our second son. He was arrested and taken to jail. The officer that filled the report told me that more than likely my husband would be given a bail amount, if he was able to meet that amount he would be released that night. I would receive notification when he was released and that a no contact order would be in place. Sure enough approximately 6 hrs after his arrest a jailer called me to give me notice that my husband was being released from jail and about the conditions of his release. When our court date came around he was ordered to take a DV court ordered course. Once he completed that his charges were removed from his record. He served no time. The ADA told me that this was typical due to this being his first offense as well as the fact that I didn't have to go to the hospital because of what he had done (even though the officers felt it was enough to arrest him) Actually in most places in the US a person who is arrested for DV on a first offense will typically be able to make bond, Yes there is a restraining order until the first court date, but restraining orders aren’t forts. Abusers have been known to kill or harm the person even with a restraining order. About 2yrs ago my mother called the police on my husband when he had become completely out of control. I was 6wks pregnant with our second son. He was arrested and taken to jail. The officer that filled the report told me that more than likely my husband would be given a bail amount, if he was able to meet that amount he would be released that night. I would receive notification when he was released and that a no contact order would be in place. Sure enough approximately 6 hrs after his arrest a jailer called me to give me notice that my husband was being released from jail and about the conditions of his release. When our court date came around he was ordered to take a DV court ordered course. Once he completed that his charges were removed from his record. He served no time. The ADA told me that this was typical due to this being his first offense as well as the fact that I didn’t have to go to the hospital because of what he had done (even though the officers felt it was enough to arrest him)

]]> By: Candy http://nogreaterjoy.org/articles/abusive-husband/#comment-10728 Candy Fri, 27 Apr 2012 02:42:01 +0000 http://new.nogreaterjoy.org/?p=3584#comment-10728 I have issues with the entire concept that if you are not happily married you should get a divorce. Debbi is right when she says God hates divorce. God hates the sins we do every day. I don't think that divorse is more hatted by Him than say, lying. We all sin and fall short of His glory. Don't take this to mean that I'm saying "since we sin every day, go ahead and get that devorce" quite the opposite. What really bothers me is the lack of Spiritual guidance and support to the suffering sisters in Christ. They read a book like Debbi's (which I have read) and try to implement the principles in it the wrong way. When a woman is in these situations, she should not start by complying to her husband, or even sincerely trying to be submissive, she must start with confessing to Christ. There is no sinless person. She must have a right walk with God before she can learn to have a right walk with her husband. If her children are at risk of abuse (not as a liberal worldly mind would spell abuse, but in the Biblical sense) she must find a way to protect them. Yes. That will be hard. The Church will probably not support her (to our shame). But her duty is still her duty regardless. She must also protect herself. This does not mean divorce, as many seem to think. She will be far less protected by divorce than by a seperation, in most cases. I say in most cases because, unlike the Pearls, I do think that there could be times when it is the only option. Maybe about 1 in 2000 or so. Women only turn to divorce because it is what they know. It is what their trusted friends and even pastors advise them. Their thinking is clouded by a seemingly hopeless situation and the ensuing emotions take over (understandably). Allow me a few minutes on a soapbox just to say this: We are in these situations because we were not raised (as a generation) to submit ourselves to the God of Heaven. We were told to go worship Him on Sunday, ask Him for things we want and complain to Him. The strict parents taught us not to use His name in vain. We have no idea what a sanctified life looks like. These poor women are not armed for battle, and the ones who should have modled what the armor looks like failed on the job. I have issues with the entire concept that if you are not happily married you should get a divorce. Debbi is right when she says God hates divorce. God hates the sins we do every day. I don’t think that divorse is more hatted by Him than say, lying. We all sin and fall short of His glory. Don’t take this to mean that I’m saying “since we sin every day, go ahead and get that devorce” quite the opposite.

What really bothers me is the lack of Spiritual guidance and support to the suffering sisters in Christ. They read a book like Debbi’s (which I have read) and try to implement the principles in it the wrong way. When a woman is in these situations, she should not start by complying to her husband, or even sincerely trying to be submissive, she must start with confessing to Christ. There is no sinless person. She must have a right walk with God before she can learn to have a right walk with her husband. If her children are at risk of abuse (not as a liberal worldly mind would spell abuse, but in the Biblical sense) she must find a way to protect them. Yes. That will be hard. The Church will probably not support her (to our shame). But her duty is still her duty regardless. She must also protect herself. This does not mean divorce, as many seem to think. She will be far less protected by divorce than by a seperation, in most cases. I say in most cases because, unlike the Pearls, I do think that there could be times when it is the only option. Maybe about 1 in 2000 or so. Women only turn to divorce because it is what they know. It is what their trusted friends and even pastors advise them. Their thinking is clouded by a seemingly hopeless situation and the ensuing emotions take over (understandably).

Allow me a few minutes on a soapbox just to say this:
We are in these situations because we were not raised (as a generation) to submit ourselves to the God of Heaven. We were told to go worship Him on Sunday, ask Him for things we want and complain to Him. The strict parents taught us not to use His name in vain. We have no idea what a sanctified life looks like. These poor women are not armed for battle, and the ones who should have modled what the armor looks like failed on the job.

]]> By: Trina http://nogreaterjoy.org/articles/abusive-husband/#comment-9478 Trina Tue, 10 Apr 2012 03:45:18 +0000 http://new.nogreaterjoy.org/?p=3584#comment-9478 I cannot believe what I am reading! I am a Christian, and there are some things here that don't make sense Number one: Everyone wants to quote Malachi 2. What about the remainder of Malachi 2:16? For the Lord, the God of Israel, says: I hate divorce and marital separation AND him who covers his garment (his wife) with violence. Therefore keep a whatch on your spirit (that it may be controlled by My spirit) that you deal not treacherously and faithlessly (with your Marriage mate. Also, these scriptures: 2 Corinthians 2,:14 Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers (Do not make mismated alliances with them or come under a different yoke with them, inconsistent with your faith). For what partnership have right living and right standing with God with iniquity and lawlessness? Or how can light have fellowship with darkness? 1 Timothy 5:8 If anyone fails to privide for his relatives, and especially for those of his own family, he has disowned the faith (by failing to accompany it with fruits) and is worse than an unbeliever (who performs his obligation in these matters). Please re-read the book of Exodus, if you think God is okay with bondage and oppression. Did God hear the cries of the Hebrew slaves, and say to them, Just stay with Pharoh and pray that he will be saved? No! He made sure the Hebrew children were powerfully, completely delivered! Jesus came to set the captives free. I cannot believe what I am reading! I am a Christian, and there are some things here that don’t make sense

Number one: Everyone wants to quote Malachi 2. What about the remainder of Malachi 2:16? For the Lord, the God of Israel, says: I hate divorce and marital separation AND him who covers his garment (his wife) with violence. Therefore keep a whatch on your spirit (that it may be controlled by My spirit) that you deal not treacherously and faithlessly (with your Marriage mate.

Also, these scriptures:

2 Corinthians 2,:14 Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers (Do not make mismated alliances with them or come under a different yoke with them, inconsistent with your faith). For what partnership have right living and right standing with God with iniquity and lawlessness? Or how can light have fellowship with darkness?

1 Timothy 5:8 If anyone fails to privide for his relatives, and especially for those of his own family, he has disowned the faith (by failing to accompany it with fruits) and is worse than an unbeliever (who performs his obligation in these matters).

Please re-read the book of Exodus, if you think God is okay with bondage and oppression. Did God hear the cries of the Hebrew slaves, and say to them, Just stay with Pharoh and pray that he will be saved? No! He made sure the Hebrew children were powerfully, completely delivered!

Jesus came to set the captives free.

]]> By: AJ http://nogreaterjoy.org/articles/abusive-husband/#comment-7879 AJ Sun, 11 Mar 2012 19:10:42 +0000 http://new.nogreaterjoy.org/?p=3584#comment-7879 I was in a abusive relationship once ... Its a very hard relationship to get out of ..When he threatin my life I knew had to get out ... Most men that are abuseive don't change ... Micheal I'd like to commennt on something you wrote >>> But if your husband has sexually molested the children, you should approach him with it. If he is truly repentant (not just exposed) and is willing to seek counseling, you may feel comfortable giving him an opportunity to prove himself, as long as you know the children are safe. If he is truly repentant give him another chance.. Well i was molested at the age of 8 yrs old by a nieghbor the minute it was over the damage had been done mentally and physically to me I couldn't inmagine having to stay in the same house with the man ( as it would be if she gave her husband -(the father that did that to his daughter) another chance) with conuseling etc..As the saying goes never know what some one else feels till you walk a mile in there shoes... If a man or woman molest or rapes a child they should be brought up on charges and convicted to the fulliest even if he is the father ....To me he should have taken his daughters mental state and what it could do to her instead of only thinking of himself I feel thats what god would want... Not one that everyday u have to look and fear the one that rook your innocents from you and live in fear he will do it again.... Thank You I was in a abusive relationship once … Its a very hard relationship to get out of ..When he threatin my life I knew had to get out … Most men that are abuseive don’t change …

Micheal I’d like to commennt on something you wrote >>> But if your husband has sexually molested the children, you should approach him with it. If he is truly repentant (not just exposed) and is willing to seek counseling, you may feel comfortable giving him an opportunity to prove himself, as long as you know the children are safe.

If he is truly repentant give him another chance.. Well i was molested at the age of 8 yrs old by a nieghbor the minute it was over the damage had been done mentally and physically to me I couldn’t inmagine having to stay in the same house with the man ( as it would be if she gave her husband -(the father that did that to his daughter) another chance) with conuseling etc..As the saying goes never know what some one else feels till you walk a mile in there shoes… If a man or woman molest or rapes a child they should be brought up on charges and convicted to the fulliest even if he is the father ….To me he should have taken his daughters mental state and what it could do to her instead of only thinking of himself I feel thats what god would want… Not one that everyday u have to look and fear the one that rook your innocents from you and live in fear he will do it again….

Thank You

]]> By: Donna http://nogreaterjoy.org/articles/abusive-husband/#comment-7868 Donna Sun, 11 Mar 2012 13:45:10 +0000 http://new.nogreaterjoy.org/?p=3584#comment-7868 Charles Spurgeon once said that a woman is a reflective mirror of the man, and if he didn't like what he saw in her, he was to take a look at himself and see what he was doing wrong. Scripture clarifies that the responsibility for a relationship working or failing rests totally on the man -- that in his obedience to the command that he sacrificially lay down his life for the woman, she will then open up, respond and blossom. Who did God go to first in the Garden of Edem? Was it not Adam? I hear and respect what the Pearls have to say in this article, but I have to believe that the answer lies not in "instructing the woman," bu to rebuke and reprove the man. The church today has grossly failed in that the number one sin responsible for divorce is pastors refusing to instruct men to lay down their lives for women, and in refusing to admonish men in their prevalent failure in this area. In response to Michael's comments about the law, I personally called law enforcement in response to the father abusing both me and my daughter. She was then placed in foster case "as a matter of procedure," and the father was arrested for domestic abuse. He was released within a few hours. A hearing was then held where a judge gave the father placement of the child, even though the father had been arrested for domestic abuse!! During the course of the next six months, when my daughter came to visit me, she arrived with bruises, and when I approached the legal and judicial powers, they refused to admit that they made a mistake. When I eventually fled with my daughter for her safety, I was arrested and sent to incarceration for a few years. It's evident that our male judicial system favors men, and doesn't work for women. Sadly, it is a fanciful delusion to believe otherwise. The answer has always been for the church to rise up, to instruct and rebuke men in their responsibility to biblically love women. When will they do so? Charles Spurgeon once said that a woman is a reflective mirror of the man, and if he didn’t like what he saw in her, he was to take a look at himself and see what he was doing wrong. Scripture clarifies that the responsibility for a relationship working or failing rests totally on the man — that in his obedience to the command that he sacrificially lay down his life for the woman, she will then open up, respond and blossom. Who did God go to first in the Garden of Edem? Was it not Adam? I hear and respect what the Pearls have to say in this article, but I have to believe that the answer lies not in “instructing the woman,” bu to rebuke and reprove the man. The church today has grossly failed in that the number one sin responsible for divorce is pastors refusing to instruct men to lay down their lives for women, and in refusing to admonish men in their prevalent failure in this area.
In response to Michael’s comments about the law, I personally called law enforcement in response to the father abusing both me and my daughter. She was then placed in foster case “as a matter of procedure,” and the father was arrested for domestic abuse. He was released within a few hours. A hearing was then held where a judge gave the father placement of the child, even though the father had been arrested for domestic abuse!! During the course of the next six months, when my daughter came to visit me, she arrived with bruises, and when I approached the legal and judicial powers, they refused to admit that they made a mistake. When I eventually fled with my daughter for her safety, I was arrested and sent to incarceration for a few years. It’s evident that our male judicial system favors men, and doesn’t work for women. Sadly, it is a fanciful delusion to believe otherwise.
The answer has always been for the church to rise up, to instruct and rebuke men in their responsibility to biblically love women. When will they do so?

]]> By: Janice http://nogreaterjoy.org/articles/abusive-husband/#comment-5216 Janice Tue, 24 Jan 2012 03:25:48 +0000 http://new.nogreaterjoy.org/?p=3584#comment-5216 A couple that my parents were friends with, were friends with a couple in which the husband routinely committed adultery, was incredibly jealous, mentally, emotionally abused her and their young daughter and beat her up on a regular basis. He finally escalated to promising to kill her. She left him and took their daughter, but did not divorce him. Mainly because she was in hiding and didn't want a reason to come face to face with him and risk him being able to trail her once contact was made. She was terrified of him and probably couldn't express in words to anyone the complete complexity of what she knew. For six years, my parent's friends worked on convincing her of the biblical teaching to win her husband over with her quiet spirit. They felt that surely he'd had enough time to cool off and reconcile his actions in six years as they had been in contact with both of them and 'worked' on him as well. They were 'familiar' with his change of heart. She was finally convinced to return to him. Finally one day she took their daughter and headed back to the home she'd left. Her husband opened the door with a loaded gun, shot her and their daughter to death immediately, no diaglogue as it was reported. She was found laying dead on the walk way leading to the front door. This sends chills through my body and for this, I exercise caution when applying pressure on anyone with scripture to stay in an abusive relationship. I must admit that I am a committed believer in the marriage spoken of in the Bible and have asked some to at least not file for divorce on 'that day' but to just wait, nothing else. In a weekly conversation I have been a GODLY friend never adding my opinion but just restating the facts that they first lay out for me and then just quoting appropriate scripture being sure to relay the Gospel and not to manipulate. However, this response is extraordinarily 'crushing', feels very suffocating, and although I know everything here is in the word of GOD, I wonder if Jesus may have delivered the same with as much heaviness. Maybe think about just quoting scripture and leave out some of the examples, 'insight', 'discernment', and 'how to's'. I hope my honesty has not come across as disrespectful for I believe that far too many people divorce when they could have worked much harder, prayed more earnestly and diligently, forgiven more consistently, and allowed a few more offenses be as water rolling off of a duck's back. Sometimes it appears that you all are providing too much commentary and somewhat changing the meaning, although I know not intentionally. The Lord tells us ALL that our thoughts and ways as not HIS. I believe he means ALL of us, ALL of the time. As much as we attempt to apply 'practical application', explain and provide examples at some point, usually when we decide that we 'have this one down' and there is no reason to ever allow our position to be changed on any biblical teaching is when we begin to lose ground. The Israelites tried to grind, mix, and cook the manna that GOD had given them. They ended up ruining it for the pleasure of its flavor which the LORD himself thought important enough to consider. It did however fill the stomach. But GOD wanted much more for them. Love you guys...I am not above sincere redirection and correction. I would be interested in you providing scripture that applies to this particular situation if possible. A couple that my parents were friends with, were friends with a couple in which the husband routinely committed adultery, was incredibly jealous, mentally, emotionally abused her and their young daughter and beat her up on a regular basis. He finally escalated to promising to kill her. She left him and took their daughter, but did not divorce him. Mainly because she was in hiding and didn’t want a reason to come face to face with him and risk him being able to trail her once contact was made. She was terrified of him and probably couldn’t express in words to anyone the complete complexity of what she knew. For six years, my parent’s friends worked on convincing her of the biblical teaching to win her husband over with her quiet spirit. They felt that surely he’d had enough time to cool off and reconcile his actions in six years as they had been in contact with both of them and ‘worked’ on him as well. They were ‘familiar’ with his change of heart. She was finally convinced to return to him. Finally one day she took their daughter and headed back to the home she’d left. Her husband opened the door with a loaded gun, shot her and their daughter to death immediately, no diaglogue as it was reported. She was found laying dead on the walk way leading to the front door. This sends chills through my body and for this, I exercise caution when applying pressure on anyone with scripture to stay in an abusive relationship. I must admit that I am a committed believer in the marriage spoken of in the Bible and have asked some to at least not file for divorce on ‘that day’ but to just wait, nothing else. In a weekly conversation I have been a GODLY friend never adding my opinion but just restating the facts that they first lay out for me and then just quoting appropriate scripture being sure to relay the Gospel and not to manipulate. However, this response is extraordinarily ‘crushing’, feels very suffocating, and although I know everything here is in the word of GOD, I wonder if Jesus may have delivered the same with as much heaviness. Maybe think about just quoting scripture and leave out some of the examples, ‘insight’, ‘discernment’, and ‘how to’s’. I hope my honesty has not come across as disrespectful for I believe that far too many people divorce when they could have worked much harder, prayed more earnestly and diligently, forgiven more consistently, and allowed a few more offenses be as water rolling off of a duck’s back. Sometimes it appears that you all are providing too much commentary and somewhat changing the meaning, although I know not intentionally. The Lord tells us ALL that our thoughts and ways as not HIS. I believe he means ALL of us, ALL of the time. As much as we attempt to apply ‘practical application’, explain and provide examples at some point, usually when we decide that we ‘have this one down’ and there is no reason to ever allow our position to be changed on any biblical teaching is when we begin to lose ground. The Israelites tried to grind, mix, and cook the manna that GOD had given them. They ended up ruining it for the pleasure of its flavor which the LORD himself thought important enough to consider. It did however fill the stomach. But GOD wanted much more for them. Love you guys…I am not above sincere redirection and correction. I would be interested in you providing scripture that applies to this particular situation if possible.

]]> By: k http://nogreaterjoy.org/articles/abusive-husband/#comment-5043 k Fri, 20 Jan 2012 06:38:11 +0000 http://new.nogreaterjoy.org/?p=3584#comment-5043 The only thing I disagree with here is that it seems there is no forgiveness. God can forgive the woman who chooses divorce. Will there be worldly consequences of it, probably but that doesn't restrict God from moving in her life or her family. "A failing marriage is a challenge to God. When you divorce, you divest God of the opportunity of ever making something glorious out of the Devil’s mess. Divorce is not just your failure, it becomes the failure of God to triumph in those circumstances." This is the only statement I disagree with. There is no challenge to God, our human minds cannot fathom that God works outside of time, we don't prevent God from triumphing. He knows what we were going to do. He triumphs no matter what the circumstance. If he can provide the miracle of salvation to these vile men, don't we think he can win over divorce. If our sins showed that God was a failure, or deprived him of an opportunity we are sorely mistaken of the nature of God. God doesn't fail, he doesn't miss an opportunity, and although divorce is a sin, it's a forgivable one. If I were in fear of my children's safety or my safety, I would leave the situation and report it to the police and not seek a divorce. The only thing I disagree with here is that it seems there is no forgiveness. God can forgive the woman who chooses divorce. Will there be worldly consequences of it, probably but that doesn’t restrict God from moving in her life or her family.

“A failing marriage is a challenge to God. When you divorce, you divest God of the opportunity of ever making something glorious out of the Devil’s mess. Divorce is not just your failure, it becomes the failure of God to triumph in those circumstances.”

This is the only statement I disagree with. There is no challenge to God, our human minds cannot fathom that God works outside of time, we don’t prevent God from triumphing. He knows what we were going to do. He triumphs no matter what the circumstance. If he can provide the miracle of salvation to these vile men, don’t we think he can win over divorce. If our sins showed that God was a failure, or deprived him of an opportunity we are sorely mistaken of the nature of God. God doesn’t fail, he doesn’t miss an opportunity, and although divorce is a sin, it’s a forgivable one. If I were in fear of my children’s safety or my safety, I would leave the situation and report it to the police and not seek a divorce.

]]> By: A http://nogreaterjoy.org/articles/abusive-husband/#comment-4737 A Mon, 16 Jan 2012 02:51:33 +0000 http://new.nogreaterjoy.org/?p=3584#comment-4737 I've been married for over 20years and my husband is retired and sits on the couch all day watching tv and on the laptop. He sleeps on the couch with the tv on all night. When he's not doing that he just started a beer brewing hobby. Oh, and he drinks 60-90 cans of beer a week. He's supposed to be building our house but seems comfortable with his life while I am supposed to be homeschooling with all the noise in the house. I'm ready to leave but I don't want to start over. My daughter does not respect me because she wants to go to public school and since dad won't let her, she takes it out on me. I need prayer and counseling I’ve been married for over 20years and my husband is retired and sits on the couch all day watching tv and on the laptop. He sleeps on the couch with the tv on all night. When he’s not doing that he just started a beer brewing hobby. Oh, and he drinks 60-90 cans of beer a week. He’s supposed to be building our house but seems comfortable with his life while I am supposed to be homeschooling with all the noise in the house. I’m ready to leave but I don’t want to start over. My daughter does not respect me because she wants to go to public school and since dad won’t let her, she takes it out on me. I need prayer and counseling

]]> By: Rebekah http://nogreaterjoy.org/articles/abusive-husband/#comment-3158 Rebekah Sun, 13 Nov 2011 03:39:54 +0000 http://new.nogreaterjoy.org/?p=3584#comment-3158 Thanks so much. I was discouraged very much. I will continue to fight the fight and examine my heart before God. To Kayleigh, the confused young woman commenting near the top, I have a 15 year old step-daughter who is allowing the devil to use her and ruin her life without her knowing it. Probably because her daddy never spanked her or made her mind. More than likely a good spanking would help you out. I'm Jewish and I respect my elders too. Michael and Debbie Pearl may be goy I don't know, but they are your elders too and when you have grown up and are about 30 years old, your life is in pieces, your children are on a path to destruction, your husband hates you and you don't know where to turn, you might just be wise enough by then to look up NGJ and read the wisdom of the Pearls and thank God for the advise, care and help. May God get a hold of your heart before it's too late. I will pray for you as well as my own sweet step-baby. Read the stories and learn from others mistakes. Thanks so much. I was discouraged very much. I will continue to fight the fight and examine my heart before God.
To Kayleigh, the confused young woman commenting near the top, I have a 15 year old step-daughter who is allowing the devil to use her and ruin her life without her knowing it. Probably because her daddy never spanked her or made her mind. More than likely a good spanking would help you out. I’m Jewish and I respect my elders too. Michael and Debbie Pearl may be goy I don’t know, but they are your elders too and when you have grown up and are about 30 years old, your life is in pieces, your children are on a path to destruction, your husband hates you and you don’t know where to turn, you might just be wise enough by then to look up NGJ and read the wisdom of the Pearls and thank God for the advise, care and help. May God get a hold of your heart before it’s too late. I will pray for you as well as my own sweet step-baby. Read the stories and learn from others mistakes.

]]> By: NGJ Staff http://nogreaterjoy.org/articles/abusive-husband/#comment-3157 NGJ Staff Tue, 08 Nov 2011 20:33:11 +0000 http://new.nogreaterjoy.org/?p=3584#comment-3157 @jennifer - READ THE COMPLETE ARTICLE (Michael adds his thoughts)! I do not know what dark ages area that you live in, but now days in most places (in the US), a physically abusive husband will generally serve time and at the very least be put under a restraining order that upon the slightest violation will then serve time. @jennifer – READ THE COMPLETE ARTICLE (Michael adds his thoughts)! I do not know what dark ages area that you live in, but now days in most places (in the US), a physically abusive husband will generally serve time and at the very least be put under a restraining order that upon the slightest violation will then serve time.

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