Comments on: Dealing with Slick Liars http://nogreaterjoy.org/articles/dealing-with-slick-liars/ Over 500 articles from Michael and Debi Pearl on Child Training, Homeschooling, Family, Marriage, Christianity, the Bible, Missions, Simple Living, Gardening, and other topics! Wed, 16 May 2012 15:26:36 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: J http://nogreaterjoy.org/articles/dealing-with-slick-liars/#comment-6162 J Thu, 09 Feb 2012 19:45:43 +0000 http://new.nogreaterjoy.org/?p=806#comment-6162 You are going to suggest to your son that you hit your 5 year old 10 times a day? How lovely. Perhaps your children lie to you because they are afraid of the consequences of telling the truth? After all you're just as likely to hurt them after their confession as without it aren't you? You are going to suggest to your son that you hit your 5 year old 10 times a day? How lovely.
Perhaps your children lie to you because they are afraid of the consequences of telling the truth? After all you’re just as likely to hurt them after their confession as without it aren’t you?

]]> By: Summer http://nogreaterjoy.org/articles/dealing-with-slick-liars/#comment-690 Summer Fri, 30 Dec 2011 14:59:26 +0000 http://new.nogreaterjoy.org/?p=806#comment-690 Thank you, thank you for this article. We have a liar on our hands, one which we have been dealing with since he was three years old {he is now five years}. It is quite frustrating, and at times maddening when, like you said, the truth would have been so much easier. I will talk to my husband and suggest the "training" you used on your son. I am so grateful for NGJ Ministries. Thank you, thank you for this article. We have a liar on our hands, one which we have been dealing with since he was three years old {he is now five years}. It is quite frustrating, and at times maddening when, like you said, the truth would have been so much easier. I will talk to my husband and suggest the “training” you used on your son.

I am so grateful for NGJ Ministries.

]]> By: Cassie http://nogreaterjoy.org/articles/dealing-with-slick-liars/#comment-1850 Cassie Thu, 01 Sep 2011 16:43:09 +0000 http://new.nogreaterjoy.org/?p=806#comment-1850 I tend to go in with Laura - I don't think it was really necessary to use physical violence against your child rather than let him experience the reality of what lying means. I am glad he stopped lying, but all he really learned at the time was that lying is bad because it makes you hit him. I assume that by now, with his greater experience in the world, he has figured out the real consequences of lying, but it seems pointless to me to have given him the false reasoning first. One of the children I grew up with was a liar. When I asked my mother what to do about it, she said that if you knew someone was a liar, you probably shouldn't believe the things they said. We started telling him we couldn't trust him because he always lied to us, and demanded he prove everything he said. I noticed that the lying cut down pretty fast once he realised he was actually being held to a standard, and he learned that lying has real consequences - it breaks trust, and makes a fool of you. I tend to go in with Laura – I don’t think it was really necessary to use physical violence against your child rather than let him experience the reality of what lying means. I am glad he stopped lying, but all he really learned at the time was that lying is bad because it makes you hit him. I assume that by now, with his greater experience in the world, he has figured out the real consequences of lying, but it seems pointless to me to have given him the false reasoning first. One of the children I grew up with was a liar. When I asked my mother what to do about it, she said that if you knew someone was a liar, you probably shouldn’t believe the things they said. We started telling him we couldn’t trust him because he always lied to us, and demanded he prove everything he said. I noticed that the lying cut down pretty fast once he realised he was actually being held to a standard, and he learned that lying has real consequences – it breaks trust, and makes a fool of you.

]]> By: Leah http://nogreaterjoy.org/articles/dealing-with-slick-liars/#comment-1849 Leah Sun, 31 Oct 2010 03:09:31 +0000 http://new.nogreaterjoy.org/?p=806#comment-1849 Debbie, my daughter, now 10, has been a cronic liar for 4 years. We too have tried many approaches, from scripture study, to supplemental books (Character Counts), and decision/consequence plans. What breaks my heart is how easily she will still lie to me, even shortly after an honest conversation about growing up, character and sin. She does tear up when I confront her as a liar, but this does not deter her for very long. I fear I have failer her, but do not know the error in my ways. My other four children do not have this issue, but still I feel I have missed something with her. I stay in prayer-trusting there is an answer somewhere. What might you be able to teach me? Debbie, my daughter, now 10, has been a cronic liar for 4 years. We too have tried many approaches, from scripture study, to supplemental books (Character Counts), and decision/consequence plans. What breaks my heart is how easily she will still lie to me, even shortly after an honest conversation about growing up, character and sin. She does tear up when I confront her as a liar, but this does not deter her for very long.
I fear I have failer her, but do not know the error in my ways. My other four children do not have this issue, but still I feel I have missed something with her. I stay in prayer-trusting there is an answer somewhere. What might you be able to teach me?

]]> By: Ann http://nogreaterjoy.org/articles/dealing-with-slick-liars/#comment-1848 Ann Sun, 13 Jun 2010 23:25:40 +0000 http://new.nogreaterjoy.org/?p=806#comment-1848 I am new to this site, but I just read the Pearls book, To Train Up A Child. I am impressed with the simple lessons they give. I have come to their site to learn more and I read your letter about your granddaughter. I have a niece who started telling stories as a very young child, and her parents were not able to correct her bad habit. Her mother was one of the most truthful people I know therefore I do not believe lying is hereditary. It may be a symptom of another disturbance, or just a bad habit. I think Debi did a good job of correcting her son. He was not a toddler who could not discern truth, but was in fact, conscious of his own actions. This made him responsible for the results of his actions. It was better for him to feel the pain of the switch then grow up to be a man without integrity. I am new to this site, but I just read the Pearls book, To Train Up A Child. I am impressed with the simple lessons they give. I have come to their site to learn more and I read your letter about your granddaughter. I have a niece who started telling stories as a very young child, and her parents were not able to correct her bad habit. Her mother was one of the most truthful people I know therefore I do not believe lying is hereditary. It may be a symptom of another disturbance, or just a bad habit. I think Debi did a good job of correcting her son. He was not a toddler who could not discern truth, but was in fact, conscious of his own actions. This made him responsible for the results of his actions. It was better for him to feel the pain of the switch then grow up to be a man without integrity.

]]> By: Kathy http://nogreaterjoy.org/articles/dealing-with-slick-liars/#comment-1847 Kathy Mon, 01 Mar 2010 16:25:56 +0000 http://new.nogreaterjoy.org/?p=806#comment-1847 I inherited my graddaughter at age 4 from 2 severly mentally ill parents. Mother abandoned her at age 2... Father is now doing great on medication. Mother out of the picture but aquainted with child. Grieving process on that loss has gone well over the years.... each deep grief supported and affirmed by me and counselor.... now they are few and far between. However, my granddaughter who I adore, is very much loved and cared for, has had the habit of lying since before she came to live with me. She is now 10, gets AB honor roll in school with ease. Her mother, who she doesn't know is a liar, has always been a severe liar. Somehow I'm wondering if this trait can be transmitted? Her father has always been a truth teller... Never ever known him to lie. My methods of correction have been removing all toys from room, spankings in early years with talks, apologies, letting her know how god hates lying, etc. She lies for absolutely no apparent reason that I can tell except just not wanting to follow instructions. It comes down to, "Have you brushed your teeth honey?". "Yes, they shine like pearls!" I check her toothbrush after she leaves for school, and am sadly aware that it is dry.... HELP I have worked with children for over 25 years as a children's pastor and bible club teacher...... with learning disable kids and mentally ill kids. This one stumps me. So now, there will be no tv, wii, or electronic games for a week. Plus we will go over how God hates lying and what it does to trust and relationships. I will ask for apologies to me and to God..... what else? I inherited my graddaughter at age 4 from 2 severly mentally ill parents. Mother abandoned her at age 2… Father is now doing great on medication. Mother out of the picture but aquainted with child. Grieving process on that loss has gone well over the years…. each deep grief supported and affirmed by me and counselor…. now they are few and far between. However, my granddaughter who I adore, is very much loved and cared for, has had the habit of lying since before she came to live with me. She is now 10, gets AB honor roll in school with ease. Her mother, who she doesn’t know is a liar, has always been a severe liar. Somehow I’m wondering if this trait can be transmitted? Her father has always been a truth teller… Never ever known him to lie. My methods of correction have been removing all toys from room, spankings in early years with talks, apologies, letting her know how god hates lying, etc. She lies for absolutely no apparent reason that I can tell except just not wanting to follow instructions. It comes down to, “Have you brushed your teeth honey?”. “Yes, they shine like pearls!” I check her toothbrush after she leaves for school, and am sadly aware that it is dry…. HELP
I have worked with children for over 25 years as a children’s pastor and bible club teacher…… with learning disable kids and mentally ill kids. This one stumps me. So now, there will be no tv, wii, or electronic games for a week. Plus we will go over how God hates lying and what it does to trust and relationships. I will ask for apologies to me and to God….. what else?

]]> By: Autumn http://nogreaterjoy.org/articles/dealing-with-slick-liars/#comment-1846 Autumn Mon, 15 Feb 2010 19:17:38 +0000 http://new.nogreaterjoy.org/?p=806#comment-1846 I have read your books and understand how you approach spanking. I agree that the rod is to be used but not in all cases. I know you use the rod in love and never in the state of anger...I know this only by reading your books. Laura needs to read more on your discipline and training to see that. Your child obviously learned from it and if it had broken his spirit he would not have come to you and said that he too hates lying. I have a daughter who lies because of some insecurity that she has. I was a liar growing up too. I am ashamed of that and appreciate the second approach and will try it on her. Since I grew up in a very angry home and have dealt with anger in the past I choose not to use the rod in all cases. I only use the rod when absolutely necessary. I have been training my children now the way you describe in your books and have had much success. I was not brought up in a loving environment and so you have been a huge help to me in raising Godly children. I have also learned to correct some of my issues along the way. Thank you! God Bless you and your ministry. I have read your books and understand how you approach spanking. I agree that the rod is to be used but not in all cases. I know you use the rod in love and never in the state of anger…I know this only by reading your books. Laura needs to read more on your discipline and training to see that. Your child obviously learned from it and if it had broken his spirit he would not have come to you and said that he too hates lying. I have a daughter who lies because of some insecurity that she has. I was a liar growing up too. I am ashamed of that and appreciate the second approach and will try it on her. Since I grew up in a very angry home and have dealt with anger in the past I choose not to use the rod in all cases. I only use the rod when absolutely necessary.

I have been training my children now the way you describe in your books and have had much success. I was not brought up in a loving environment and so you have been a huge help to me in raising Godly children. I have also learned to correct some of my issues along the way. Thank you! God Bless you and your ministry.

]]> By: Laura http://nogreaterjoy.org/articles/dealing-with-slick-liars/#comment-1845 Laura Mon, 15 Feb 2010 01:50:49 +0000 http://new.nogreaterjoy.org/?p=806#comment-1845 I stumbled on your articles from another website. I am absolutely HORRIFIED that you used this violence against your children and that you recommend it to other parents. There are many other ways to instill discipline in a child that don't destroy the spirit within the child. I would recommend to your readers an alternate viewpoint "Parenting from the Inside Out" by Dr. Dan Siegel. I stumbled on your articles from another website. I am absolutely HORRIFIED that you used this violence against your children and that you recommend it to other parents. There are many other ways to instill discipline in a child that don’t destroy the spirit within the child. I would recommend to your readers an alternate viewpoint “Parenting from the Inside Out” by Dr. Dan Siegel.

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