http://nogreaterjoy.org/articles/lady-with-a-lot-of-questions/ Over 500 articles from Michael and Debi Pearl on Child Training, Homeschooling, Family, Marriage, Christianity, the Bible, Missions, Simple Living, Gardening, and other topics! Fri, 18 May 2012 19:40:56 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 http://nogreaterjoy.org/articles/lady-with-a-lot-of-questions/#comment-10766 Kyle Tue, 08 May 2012 03:14:26 +0000 http://new.nogreaterjoy.org/?p=1010#comment-10766 Thanks for sharing your thoughts and having them so accessible! -a young dad (with a 3 week old) Thanks for sharing your thoughts and having them so accessible! -a young dad (with a 3 week old)

]]> http://nogreaterjoy.org/articles/lady-with-a-lot-of-questions/#comment-2002 Renee Sun, 19 Jun 2011 14:24:38 +0000 http://new.nogreaterjoy.org/?p=1010#comment-2002 I respectfully disagree with some of these techniques. I believe that Jesus was a champion of children, and was a gentle example of how to influence others. I understand that situations arise where a physical intervention is required, ie a 4 year old causing a ruckus or beating up his sister is a good spanking candidate - a 4 month old reaching for my plate is not. If a child is too young to understand cause and effect, how can you expect hitting them to work? Don't you worry that this just teaches the child fear, or worse, violence? Personally, I have found, after working with children who are abused, that yes, they do cry less, but that's because their caregiver - child relationship is so damaged that they have lost all trust in the outside world to get their needs met. Neglected children actually cry far less than "regular" children, because they have learned that no matter what they do, no matter how hard they cry, no one will come for them. No one will meet their needs. So in essence, these children have "given up". This is a dangerous mindset for a child, and frankly, a sad permutation of the mother-child relationship. A child needs to be able to learn trust, and learn how to communicate ways to get their needs met. A crying 13 week old is far too young to understand the intricacies of manipulation. But they are smart enough to know that they are scared, wet, hungry, etc & can communicate that with a cry. I fear that by teaching mothers that their children are trying to manipulate them, you are setting up a very adversarial relationship instead of one of gentle but firm guidance. Thoughts? I respectfully disagree with some of these techniques. I believe that Jesus was a champion of children, and was a gentle example of how to influence others. I understand that situations arise where a physical intervention is required, ie a 4 year old causing a ruckus or beating up his sister is a good spanking candidate – a 4 month old reaching for my plate is not. If a child is too young to understand cause and effect, how can you expect hitting them to work? Don’t you worry that this just teaches the child fear, or worse, violence? Personally, I have found, after working with children who are abused, that yes, they do cry less, but that’s because their caregiver – child relationship is so damaged that they have lost all trust in the outside world to get their needs met. Neglected children actually cry far less than “regular” children, because they have learned that no matter what they do, no matter how hard they cry, no one will come for them. No one will meet their needs. So in essence, these children have “given up”. This is a dangerous mindset for a child, and frankly, a sad permutation of the mother-child relationship. A child needs to be able to learn trust, and learn how to communicate ways to get their needs met. A crying 13 week old is far too young to understand the intricacies of manipulation. But they are smart enough to know that they are scared, wet, hungry, etc & can communicate that with a cry. I fear that by teaching mothers that their children are trying to manipulate them, you are setting up a very adversarial relationship instead of one of gentle but firm guidance. Thoughts?

]]> http://nogreaterjoy.org/articles/lady-with-a-lot-of-questions/#comment-2001 Rebekah Thu, 04 Nov 2010 01:58:59 +0000 http://new.nogreaterjoy.org/?p=1010#comment-2001 Thanks for your wise advise. I really think in this modern era we live in that mother or grandmother live far away and there is no one nearby to rely on for advise, that your comments and recommendations are refreshing and rewarding. Thanks. Thanks for your wise advise. I really think in this modern era we live in that mother or grandmother live far away and there is no one nearby to rely on for advise, that your comments and recommendations are refreshing and rewarding.
Thanks.

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