I am writing a book just for men. Wives have read Created To Be His Help Meet and became better helpers, but what about the men? Are they going to get a free ride, basking in the undeserved privileges of their male roles?
Ladies, I need your help. What do you want me to say to the men? Here is your chance, everything you always wanted to tell your man but were afraid to say it. I will take your heart concerns and suggestions in this new book and load it with dynamite and blow his indifference away.
Men, what is the problem? Why is your marriage not as good as it could be? What would you change about yourself or your wife if you could? What causes the greatest frustration? What about anger? Why do you get so ticked? I am going to say a few words to the ladies in this book, because I know they are going to sneak a peek at the contents while you are at work. They are going to do a little spying, just so they will know what standards to hold you to. What do you want me to tell that wife of yours—something you would like to say but aren’t sure you should? She is not my wife; I don’t mind making her mad if that’s what it takes. What should I tell her?
Hey, kids, I would like to hear from you, also. What do you see in your family that you would like to change, especially as it relates to your father? How does your father affect your home life, good, bad, or indifferent? Husbands and wives, help me make this the most relevant book ever written to men (and a little bit to women). I don’t need your name or address. I will not print anything that betrays your identity. I don’t want to be an accomplice to a tongue lashing or a cold bed. You can write, email [email protected], or submit your comment below. I would prefer email. In the subject line use: Men’s Book. Thank you.
- Mike Pearl
[notice]Update - Michael Pearl's book for men, Created To Need A Help Meet, is now available for purchase in our web store. Get it now![/notice]
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I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth. 3 John 4
© 1995–2024. No Greater Joy Ministries (NGJ) is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit ministry of Michael and Debi Pearl.
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Nip It in the Bud
How soon will the book be ready?
really looking forward to that book. Seems like an awful lot of work for Mr. Pearl, but we'll be grateful.
I am the wife of a wonderful Christian man. The thing I have struggled with most in our marriage is his pornography addiction and his dishonesty to me regarding his pornography use before and after our marriage. He never wanted pornography in his life, and he is now working harder than ever to overcome it. Could you please describe to the men why pornography is so addictive, what it can do to their lives and their marriages, how they can overcome it, and why they should be honest with their wives? Thanks so much for your ministry. "Created" has been a great help to me (and I need to reread it!).
Husbands need to make sure their wives feel loved.
Even the bible says that husbands need respect and wives need LOVE.
Please address the pornogaphy issue. Please help men understand that they are not our controllers. Women need love and lots of it!
My husband and I are really anxious for the book for men. When is it due out?
T.R. - the Pearl's sell a pamphlet about pornography in their store, it's called, "Pornography - Road to Hell BOOKLET". Hope that helps...
Hello all,
Mike has been busy with several other projects, including his Bible Questions video series ( https://nogreaterjoy.org/audio-video/ ), building a house, and editing his audio messages. All of this has kept him away from the proposed Men's book.
However, Mike hopes to devote more time to writing this book in the Spring, as No Greater Joy anticipates a release date in mid-summer 2010.
- NGJ Staff
it has been a blessing to read the book for women and I am looking forward to a book for men. I was brought up catholic and in a latin culture where men are allowed to cheat and women have to take it. Also the teaching of been submissive has been twisted where they think that we are their maids not there help meet. Please let me know when the book for men is out because I have a son that is 23 years old and was brought up without any male figure in our family. No grandpa, no father and no uncles. I thank the Lord Jesus Christ for brethren like you and your wife; that tell/write the trueth no matter what. I am a born again christian that knows and believes that is thru Jesus Christ that we have redemption of sin thru his precious blood. God bless you both.
Ihave been married for less than a year and I believed I married a christian but after we were married my husband became verbally, mentally , and physically abusive because he believes hes supposed to control me and I have to be a submissive doormat. I understand I need to be submissive but somedays it can become unbearable to submit to constant cut downs and threatening to kill me. I love him dont get me wrong but he also justifys all his behavior and including cheating on me even though he denys it he was with her while her husband was at work. I know more now from reading Created to be his helpmeet what it means to be his wife but I even heard many Pastors justify an abusive mans behavior because a woman is to submit. I hear Oh she deserves it Hit her more Shes not being submissive.This is not the God I serve. He does disclipline and chastises but he also loves and had compassion on the sinners they would come to repentance and accept him. Thanks Sabrina
i wish you could talk to the husbands to be more intencionally romantic, no as a novel, but not just to give us for granted and forget those things that help us to serve them and love them better, and also to do something with the way they dress, sometimes they may forget that they also have to look good for us, like when we were dating. Thank you!
I am an 18 year old girl, daughter of two parents who are in love and happily married for 19 years. If you,Mr.Pearl could write about how important it is for fathers to assist in preparing their daughters for the next man in their life, mothers can teach their daughters to sew,cook,bake,and clean.But there are some things a father can pass on to this daughter, changing the oil in the car, boating,rock climbing,fixing a screen door,etc.
Thanks so much Mr.Pearl!
1.before marriage many ladies have an income. how should this work after marriage for her needs and desires. men who are in charge of the finances decide who and what the money is used for.
1.men dealing with their wives during the difficulties of menopause.
2.Are mens ego's really so sensitive?
Women need to be CHERISHED. We need to feel special. We need to believe that our husbands look at us and think, "Wow! How did I get so blessed?" We need to know that, after his relationship with God, we are the most important thing in his life.
My husband is a wonderful, godly man and he loves me, and I am very blessed, but sometimes we end up on autopilot-where things are going well and running smoothly and we turn off our brains and our emotions. I stop feeling special, stop feeling cherished and find myself resenting everything that I perceive as more important than me- and he has no idea why suddenly I get angry when he wants to watch tv or go spend the weekend with the guys when I was fine with it before. I am not excusing my own childish behavior, just admitting that I notice it happening and I wish my husband knew that if I felt cherished by him, if I felt really special to him, then I wouldn't resent the attention he gives to the tv or his friends.
Just as obedience demanded of me is worthless to our relationship, for me to demand that my husband cherish me and make me feel special is worthless.
Michael,
I really look forward to this book and may God give you the strength to complete it. Please have a chapter for special marital situations where a believing man's wife struggles with the serious life-long effects of an abusive, promiscuous, pornographic and alcoholic background and the husband must have the wisdom of Solomon to know how to deal with her multi-level health and behavioral issues. While the proper selection in the first place is the answer for most, once the vows are spoken we must hang in there for better or for worse.
My husband on our wedding day was checking out one of my cousins...and he was addicted to pornography since age 10...he didn't tell me...i knew after a few weeks into the marriage he was not the person he portrayed himself to be...now 23 years later with two godly christian kids and years of struggling in this battle i am weary... we seperated a few years ago for a few months and got back together to try to move forward and make our marriage work...he has not looked at porn for a few years...but there is no trust or honesty...something i feel is the foundation for a good marriage...we have your tract "road to hell" and it has helped...the sad thing is his father died with porn in his brief case...it destroyed him...and my husband has hopefully truly repented...it is still hard for me...we are not together now only like roomates...porn (adultry) destroys...i will show him your web site tonight...it may help him... in the trenches, Linda
I'd love to see a section on how to deal with a wife who decides to use the power of the state to take control of the marriage. It's easy for a woman to say that she's being emotionally abused because her husband isn't giving her what she wants... or to lie and claim an act of violence... and the courts are very quick to then place the woman in total control.
How should a man respond to such a situation? What is the Scriptural answer, and when there are children involved, how should he respond to the situation?
Write on "finances" in today's 2-earner world and how it affects the Christians' marriages. Should there only be the husband earning wages? What if the wife makes more money? This is an emasculated world; traditional, "manly," blue collar jobs are disappearing. Thoughts? thank you
P.S. Is there a new due-date? Mid-summer 2010 is now past! I'm desperately in need!
im reading created to be his help meet and it has made alot of changes in me i love my husband very much but he desprately needs this book!
@Brian--precisely. That needs to be covered too. It's happening all the time.
I am a man who is 19 and not married but I have seen from my parent's relationship how they love and cherish one another, each recognizing that they have God given responsibilities in marriage to each other and to God. My mother and father have done their very best to train up my siblings and me in the fear and admonition of the Lord. My father, though, has always held the God given responsibility of being the family's spiritual leader. I want to be a spiritual leader in my future family like my dad is in my family and I think men really need to step up and start being the spiritual leader that God has called them to be. This means staying in the word, talking to the children and wife about scripture, praying (LOTS of it), and growing in their own faith as they provide their children an example of what it means to be a Christian. In our culture, this responsibility so often falls upon the women and it ought to bring us men shame that we so easily defer the mantle of spiritual leader to the wife.
When my wife and I were younger and going to school we accumulated a large debt mostly student loans..[hers being signifintly larger] Now we have children, I work out side the home and still can not chip down that huge mountain of debt.My will is to do what God wants in this given circumstance.But I do not see how we can accomplish paying down this debt unless she works at least part time. I wished I would have been saved before these stupid finanical decisions.I noticed that finances were mentioned before by someone else,I think being irresponible with money is a huge problem especially here in America.
My husband and I both struggle with depression - especially since his unemployment. I'm hoping that the issue of contentment will be addressed, as it was in Debi's book. I have found it very helpful, but have trouble sharing the insights with him. My husband is not a believer (yet!), but has great respect for your work. This will really be a blessing! Thank you.
I listened to the CD Created to be His Help Meet and cried before the Lord asking Him to come alongside and help me in areas that I need His touch to change. I was happy to learn about the Book for Men and I know that it will be a blessing to my husband. Neither of us is perfect and Krista's comment (August 20) reflects a part of my need.
Your book need to contain the same type of information that "help meet" does.
My husband, has read
"help meet" and is in
the process of using
it to "put me down" and criticize me for
my shortcomings.
(I know this is his only reason for reading it to begin
with). I was happy to hear that you are
writing a book. It
should be about a man's role as husband, father and
provider, priest, etc.
All Bible texts concerning husbands should be
thoroughly explored and examined, as in
"help meet". When do you hope to have
this book in print?
Can't be too soon
for me.
My parents both came to the Lord as adults, and consequently had to grow a lot in their marriage. Praise God, they have matured tremendously and my dad is one of the most godly men I have ever known.
Two things I would like to mention; my father adores my mother, and shows it unashamedly. This is perhaps the most important aspect of our home, giving us his children a security nothing else could provide.
Second, nothing affects the home atmosphere like Dad's mood. If he is anxious, gloomy, distressed, or angry, the whole house is tense. Conversely, when he is cheerful the house is a vale of sunshine.
I have longed to get this book. However, I do follow NGJ closely and I love you guys for what you do for us.I pray that the Lord continues to bless you in every way.
I've been married for almsot 6 years. I miss feeling special and the romance. For me, I would love to hear my husband say I look pretty, give me a long kiss/hug, surprise me with a loving note/small gift about how I am special to him and that he is thinking about me, that he is glad to be with me and that he made the right choice to marry me, that I am doing well keeping the home and raising the children---that I am doing well in my job. Certainly these are not a necessity, but a powerful encouragement to submit wholeheartedly and with a glad heart.
@Lorraine. I'm so sorry your husband beats you over the head with Created. Michael has a sermon called "Only Men" that might be helpful. Hopefully he is open to it.
Men have no problem spending money on ANYTHING while trying to win a girl but when they get married, they don't want to give her money- even when they have LOTS of it to go around. This makes the wife feel unworthy or stupid (like he doesn't trust her to spend it right). This is especially hard for the stay-at-homer because she doesn't have many options of making money herself. That's my input 🙂 I think men might stay away from this book if they know they're going to be rebuked every chapter LOL. Women can take it better I think. 😉
I want my husband to understand how important is for his life and for his family his fellowship with God. He is a Christian but he doesnt read his bible or pray but just during the meal time and when we go to church. And that may be the reason of which he cant live the music of the world. I will like the book talks about how important is the fellowship with the Lord
Minding your relationships with opposite sex. Your old friends, wives friends, wives family, etc. How close is too close.