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Other Children Changing Your Child's Destiny

June 15, 2003

...Did you ever experience this as you raised your children around other families? I feel sort of hopeless, that I will never find friends who hold the same conservative values and who train their children...

Dear Michael and Debi,
I have met a couple of women at my church who love the Lord, who are planning to homeschool their children. We get along really well, and our children also get along pretty well. However, because they don’t train their children properly, their children tend to act bratty and have tantrums at times. My husband is concerned that their behavior will have a bad influence on our girls. I feel that because I am always with our girls when we visit with them, I can keep a good eye on the situation and step in any time to help my children understand what is acceptable behavior and what’s not.
Did you ever experience this as you raised your children around other families? I feel sort of hopeless, that I will never find friends who hold the same conservative values and who train their children.
Please help,
Lonesome Stacy

Debi Answers
Dear Lonesome,
Your husband is right. Other children will decide your children’s destiny to some degree. This is the reason God tells older women to tell young wives and mothers: “that they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed” (Titus 2:4). Learn to trust your man. Also, start ministering to these families by sending us their name and address for a free subscription to our newsletter. God can change them and their children.
Deb

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2 comments on “Other Children Changing Your Child's Destiny”

  1. Dear Mike and Deb,
    I have been reading your books and articles since my oldest son was 2 months old. My children are 11, 10, 8, and 7. I homeschool them and love every minute of it! Due to financial reasons, we had to sell our home and we moved into a townhouse neighborhood 2 & 1/2 years ago. My heart is aching with regret and I feel at a loss for a solution to the problem this move has created. Up until the move, the children had been very obedient, very joyful, and very God honoring. Slowly, with the exposure to these neighborhood kids (none Christian, half Indian or Pakistani) they have abandoned much of their old ways. I am desperately seeking an idea of what to do. I feel that we would be so much better off if we lived on a farm, but I cannot make that happen. I feel the Spirit leading me to break all ties with the neighborhood kids (I have not so far because my children were so diligently witnessing to these children at first). I feel that the new goal of our family is constant fun for the children(which I wholeheartedly disagree with) and that taking their friends away would be not only a devastating blow to that goal but also I fear rebellion over it. I feel like we need to take the summer to reform the hearts of our children through service and some character building activities. Can you give me any suggestions? God bless you two for all you do and for all the ways your ministry has blessed our home!
    Dawn

  2. Stacy -

    I agree that you should be mindful of the actions of other children around yours. Remember as well that your good example will provide an excellent model for them to follow. It sounds as if you're doing a great job...

    Dawn -

    I disagree with one of your comments, in which you describe a group of children as "none Christian, half Indian or Pakistani." My family and I are Muslim, and my children are respectful to others, joyful, and well-behaved. Please do not confuse an individual's ethnicity with their morals - God works in all cultures and families.