Comments on: Patriarchal Dysfunctional Families http://nogreaterjoy.org/articles/patriarchal-dysfunctional-families-part-2/ Over 500 articles from Michael and Debi Pearl on Child Training, Homeschooling, Family, Marriage, Christianity, the Bible, Missions, Simple Living, Gardening, and other topics! Fri, 18 May 2012 19:40:56 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Terri http://nogreaterjoy.org/articles/patriarchal-dysfunctional-families-part-2/#comment-2349 Terri Sun, 04 Jul 2010 15:41:56 +0000 http://new.nogreaterjoy.org/?p=2190#comment-2349 I grew up with a father who at least had the quality of candidness. He had no qualms about telling me or my mother that we were to hold the same opinions as him. As a teenager, I found this to be exasperating. For years now--I am 35--I have carried anger and hostility that has infiltrated and thwarted my own childrearing abilities. I know the way I was raised is not the way I want to raise my own children, but I often find that I do the same things, even against my own will. I cannot help but think of the verse that says the children will bear the sins of the fathers. I have experienced divorce, and I attribute it mainly to the demanding presence of my father and his anger when my husband would not obey him. I am living under his roof and find myself in a perpetual servant/master relationship with him. At best, it seems that I can only use my negative experience as an example to my children as they grow older to seek God first and follow His heart although I am not leading by example. The situation is made more dfficult--and I am sure that of many others--by the fact that no person is all bad or all good. My father has many good qualities, but fails to see that his demand for "appreciation" (as he says it) is not Biblical. I know that he struggles with issues from his childhood, but now, so do I. I grew up with a father who at least had the quality of candidness. He had no qualms about telling me or my mother that we were to hold the same opinions as him. As a teenager, I found this to be exasperating. For years now–I am 35–I have carried anger and hostility that has infiltrated and thwarted my own childrearing abilities. I know the way I was raised is not the way I want to raise my own children, but I often find that I do the same things, even against my own will. I cannot help but think of the verse that says the children will bear the sins of the fathers. I have experienced divorce, and I attribute it mainly to the demanding presence of my father and his anger when my husband would not obey him. I am living under his roof and find myself in a perpetual servant/master relationship with him. At best, it seems that I can only use my negative experience as an example to my children as they grow older to seek God first and follow His heart although I am not leading by example.

The situation is made more dfficult–and I am sure that of many others–by the fact that no person is all bad or all good. My father has many good qualities, but fails to see that his demand for “appreciation” (as he says it) is not Biblical. I know that he struggles with issues from his childhood, but now, so do I.

]]> By: Michelle Willis http://nogreaterjoy.org/articles/patriarchal-dysfunctional-families-part-2/#comment-2348 Michelle Willis Sun, 17 Jan 2010 00:59:43 +0000 http://new.nogreaterjoy.org/?p=2190#comment-2348 I have always been confused when Jesus' earthly parents could not find Him and He was found in the temple - 'doing His Father's business'. At 12, he was not yet considered an adult , yet it would seem that He did not obey his earthly parents. No body can ever explain this to me. ps - i don't know if you meant it to be funny - but when you said honour and obey were spelled differently - it made me giggle. Thankyou I have always been confused when Jesus’ earthly parents could not find Him and He was found in the temple – ‘doing His Father’s business’. At 12, he was not yet considered an adult , yet it would seem that He did not obey his earthly parents. No body can ever explain this to me.
ps – i don’t know if you meant it to be funny – but when you said honour and obey were spelled differently – it made me giggle.
Thankyou

]]> By: Nathanael http://nogreaterjoy.org/articles/patriarchal-dysfunctional-families-part-2/#comment-2347 Nathanael Thu, 07 Jan 2010 12:23:05 +0000 http://new.nogreaterjoy.org/?p=2190#comment-2347 Man, I wanted to jump up and cheer. Honour does not equal obedience! I'm sorta a jaded idealist disgusted with the whole conservative home school movement. But, I've been THINKING that ever since I was seventeen and struggled with the fact that disagreeing with your parents is equal to rebellion. When you look at Christ and his disciples, the idea isn't even scriptural. Thanks Michael - you rock dude. Man, I wanted to jump up and cheer. Honour does not equal obedience! I’m sorta a jaded idealist disgusted with the whole conservative home school movement. But, I’ve been THINKING that ever since I was seventeen and struggled with the fact that disagreeing with your parents is equal to rebellion. When you look at Christ and his disciples, the idea isn’t even scriptural. Thanks Michael – you rock dude.

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