Comments on: The Return of the Volleyball Bawler http://nogreaterjoy.org/articles/the-return-of-the-volleyball-bawler/ Over 500 articles from Michael and Debi Pearl on Child Training, Homeschooling, Family, Marriage, Christianity, the Bible, Missions, Simple Living, Gardening, and other topics! Fri, 18 May 2012 19:40:56 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: heather http://nogreaterjoy.org/articles/the-return-of-the-volleyball-bawler/#comment-2310 heather Fri, 02 Dec 2011 22:09:33 +0000 http://new.nogreaterjoy.org/?p=3514#comment-2310 this is the first time on this site and today also was the first time i found about this training a child i have a 3 year old little girl and a 6 year old little boy . i as well am a 25 year old mother my husband is 26 i cannot wait to change the way our home and children are for the better . as a child my mother chose not to be in all 5 of her childrens lives ages ranged from 7 to a month old baby so i have struggled on the way to be the best that i can be to teach my children with no mother still in my life. god bless you and your wife for the tools you have given this family look for to reading and applying it in our home thank you for you courage to stand on anderson coopers stage you have im sure saved my family this is the first time on this site and today also was the first time i found about this training a child i have a 3 year old little girl and a 6 year old little boy . i as well am a 25 year old mother my husband is 26 i cannot wait to change the way our home and children are for the better . as a child my mother chose not to be in all 5 of her childrens lives ages ranged from 7 to a month old baby so i have struggled on the way to be the best that i can be to teach my children with no mother still in my life. god bless you and your wife for the tools you have given this family look for to reading and applying it in our home thank you for you courage to stand on anderson coopers stage you have im sure saved my family

]]> By: Amanda http://nogreaterjoy.org/articles/the-return-of-the-volleyball-bawler/#comment-2309 Amanda Thu, 03 Mar 2011 13:55:29 +0000 http://new.nogreaterjoy.org/?p=3514#comment-2309 I am a young mother of a two year old boy. I have always comforted my son when he was hurt, hit, shoved, etc. Now I have a whiny two year old. He whines over EVERYTHING!!!! I now am trying to train my child to not act in this behavior which is really hard. I feel I have to spank him all the time. I believe with all my heart if I had done different and didnt run to his every call he would not be this way.Thank you for the Godly leading to a young mother who needs it. God Bless I am a young mother of a two year old boy. I have always comforted my son when he was hurt, hit, shoved, etc. Now I have a whiny two year old. He whines over EVERYTHING!!!! I now am trying to train my child to not act in this behavior which is really hard. I feel I have to spank him all the time. I believe with all my heart if I had done different and didnt run to his every call he would not be this way.Thank you for the Godly leading to a young mother who needs it. God Bless

]]> By: Becky http://nogreaterjoy.org/articles/the-return-of-the-volleyball-bawler/#comment-2308 Becky Thu, 21 Oct 2010 21:56:02 +0000 http://new.nogreaterjoy.org/?p=3514#comment-2308 I too, am thankful for the Pearl's wisdom in raising children. I am lucky to have come by their books while my children are still young enough to benefit from it. Everyone always comments on how well behaved my kids are. My Aunt even remarked that my job as a mother would be more difficult if my children weren't so naturally good! I told her I'd like to think they are so good because I have taught them to be that way, using the Pearl's principles. I had an incident where my youngest was trying to get down out of my arms by flailing and squirming to get down, instead of asking "please can I get down". I calmly explained to him that he could get down any time he wanted by simply saying that phrase, or any phrase that included asking with a please. His response was that he didn't want to. So I refused to set him down until he obeyed. About 20 minutes later I was still holding him, and he was still screaming and crying as if I was injuring him. I was absolutely sure that I was doing the right thing, but my four year old became disturbed by the whole situation and started crying. I explained to my four year old that my three year old could get down anytime he wanted by using the word please. He then joined me in trying to persuade the little one to use words instead of screaming crying. Long story short, one of our cats came down and sat on the chair. I asked him if he wanted to go pet the cat. His response "Yes, please." Whew! It was over, I let him down, I won the power struggle, and he always asks to please be set down now, instead of screaming and crying. And the older one learned the lesson as well. Thank you Pearls, for your wisdom and tough love in parenting. Becky I too, am thankful for the Pearl’s wisdom in raising children. I am lucky to have come by their books while my children are still young enough to benefit from it. Everyone always comments on how well behaved my kids are. My Aunt even remarked that my job as a mother would be more difficult if my children weren’t so naturally good! I told her I’d like to think they are so good because I have taught them to be that way, using the Pearl’s principles. I had an incident where my youngest was trying to get down out of my arms by flailing and squirming to get down, instead of asking “please can I get down”. I calmly explained to him that he could get down any time he wanted by simply saying that phrase, or any phrase that included asking with a please. His response was that he didn’t want to. So I refused to set him down until he obeyed. About 20 minutes later I was still holding him, and he was still screaming and crying as if I was injuring him. I was absolutely sure that I was doing the right thing, but my four year old became disturbed by the whole situation and started crying. I explained to my four year old that my three year old could get down anytime he wanted by using the word please. He then joined me in trying to persuade the little one to use words instead of screaming crying. Long story short, one of our cats came down and sat on the chair. I asked him if he wanted to go pet the cat. His response “Yes, please.” Whew! It was over, I let him down, I won the power struggle, and he always asks to please be set down now, instead of screaming and crying. And the older one learned the lesson as well. Thank you Pearls, for your wisdom and tough love in parenting.
Becky

]]> By: Kathleen Brooks http://nogreaterjoy.org/articles/the-return-of-the-volleyball-bawler/#comment-2307 Kathleen Brooks Thu, 12 Aug 2010 02:51:41 +0000 http://new.nogreaterjoy.org/?p=3514#comment-2307 I am continually amazed at the wisdom of the Pearls. There is so much to learn from this article and I can't say enough how much I appreciate Michael's encouragement to "get tough" while also stressing the importance of not allowing anger to have a place in your heart. In this world I feel constantly pressured to give in to my child because of what others would think instead of doing what would be best for him. Thank you so much for your work!!! I am continually amazed at the wisdom of the Pearls. There is so much to learn from this article and I can’t say enough how much I appreciate Michael’s encouragement to “get tough” while also stressing the importance of not allowing anger to have a place in your heart. In this world I feel constantly pressured to give in to my child because of what others would think instead of doing what would be best for him. Thank you so much for your work!!!

]]> By: Laura http://nogreaterjoy.org/articles/the-return-of-the-volleyball-bawler/#comment-2306 Laura Mon, 28 Jun 2010 19:08:45 +0000 http://new.nogreaterjoy.org/?p=3514#comment-2306 I can't believe what I just read! The problem with the internet is that anyone can publish here. Sure, my job as a parent would be a piece of cake if I used fear and intimidation to force my daughter to do things. After all, I outweigh her by 100 pounds. But God gave us brains and intellect, hearts and souls. I'm pretty sure he made the trees for the birds and squirrels, not so that adults would have easy access to switches. I can’t believe what I just read! The problem with the internet is that anyone can publish here.
Sure, my job as a parent would be a piece of cake if I used fear and intimidation to force my daughter to do things. After all, I outweigh her by 100 pounds. But God gave us brains and intellect, hearts and souls. I’m pretty sure he made the trees for the birds and squirrels, not so that adults would have easy access to switches.

]]> By: Bethany http://nogreaterjoy.org/articles/the-return-of-the-volleyball-bawler/#comment-2305 Bethany Mon, 07 Jun 2010 23:43:03 +0000 http://new.nogreaterjoy.org/?p=3514#comment-2305 I belive the whole point of this story is the fact that this child was not truly hurt. Parents, if they are paying attention, learn quickly the difference in the demanding whine/cry of their child and the cry of true pain. I do not believe she is saying that you should ignore your truly hurt child. However, I believe that even this comforting should be done carefully so as not to prolong self pitty once the comfort has been given. Love and comfort your child, but teach them to "shake it off" and get on with life too. I belive the whole point of this story is the fact that this child was not truly hurt. Parents, if they are paying attention, learn quickly the difference in the demanding whine/cry of their child and the cry of true pain. I do not believe she is saying that you should ignore your truly hurt child. However, I believe that even this comforting should be done carefully so as not to prolong self pitty once the comfort has been given. Love and comfort your child, but teach them to “shake it off” and get on with life too.

]]> By: LaDonna http://nogreaterjoy.org/articles/the-return-of-the-volleyball-bawler/#comment-2304 LaDonna Tue, 25 May 2010 14:58:41 +0000 http://new.nogreaterjoy.org/?p=3514#comment-2304 So I have a question isn't there times for comforting a young child when they are hurting? I mean in this case it was obvious that the child was being controlling. But when my child is really hurting I want him to come to me for comfort as an example for them when older that they need to go to God for comfort when they are hurting. So I have a question isn’t there times for comforting a young child when they are hurting? I mean in this case it was obvious that the child was being controlling. But when my child is really hurting I want him to come to me for comfort as an example for them when older that they need to go to God for comfort when they are hurting.

]]> By: Krystal http://nogreaterjoy.org/articles/the-return-of-the-volleyball-bawler/#comment-2303 Krystal Wed, 21 Apr 2010 14:28:50 +0000 http://new.nogreaterjoy.org/?p=3514#comment-2303 Your are not treating your child as an inconvenience if you do not cuddle them every time they get hurt. You are helping them to cope in the future. If you drop everything to run and cuddle your teaching your child to be self centered. And in my experience with two girls 1 and 3 I know that cuddling only encourages the behavior to get worse. I did not start any kind of training with my three year old until she was 2 and I wish someone would have brought me to the Pearls earlier. Furthermore calling a quick switch a "beating" is ridiculous. I hope that your daughter can grow up to be as tough as you. I know for my children it would not work. Your are not treating your child as an inconvenience if you do not cuddle them every time they get hurt. You are helping them to cope in the future. If you drop everything to run and cuddle your teaching your child to be self centered. And in my experience with two girls 1 and 3 I know that cuddling only encourages the behavior to get worse. I did not start any kind of training with my three year old until she was 2 and I wish someone would have brought me to the Pearls earlier. Furthermore calling a quick switch a “beating” is ridiculous. I hope that your daughter can grow up to be as tough as you. I know for my children it would not work.

]]> By: Reese http://nogreaterjoy.org/articles/the-return-of-the-volleyball-bawler/#comment-2302 Reese Wed, 31 Mar 2010 12:37:15 +0000 http://new.nogreaterjoy.org/?p=3514#comment-2302 I'm sorry, but when my child (12 mos, not much younger than the child in this story) hurts herself I comfort her! Teach her that I care about her feelings and I care about who she is as a person, and that she matters to me. After a quick cuddle with me (something that barely takes a minute) my child is ready to go play again. I feel that if a parent wants to "train" his or her child to be able to ignore injuries or to not seek out comfort from their providers, they are simply lazy parents, so sorry if your child is such an inconvienence for you! This behavior will not last forever, soon my child will be able to get hurt, dust herself off and go back to what she was doing. I actually remember I was a little girl of 7 when I fell down and skinned my knee, I did not cry, I did not whine. I looked up at my father, and said "Daddy, I hurt my knee, could you help me clean it?", and I was PROUD, because I didn't cry. I wasn't beaten into submission and taught that my feelings didn't matter. I was loved, and hugged when I was hurt, and disciplined when it was necessary. I’m sorry, but when my child (12 mos, not much younger than the child in this story) hurts herself I comfort her! Teach her that I care about her feelings and I care about who she is as a person, and that she matters to me. After a quick cuddle with me (something that barely takes a minute) my child is ready to go play again. I feel that if a parent wants to “train” his or her child to be able to ignore injuries or to not seek out comfort from their providers, they are simply lazy parents, so sorry if your child is such an inconvienence for you! This behavior will not last forever, soon my child will be able to get hurt, dust herself off and go back to what she was doing.

I actually remember I was a little girl of 7 when I fell down and skinned my knee, I did not cry, I did not whine. I looked up at my father, and said “Daddy, I hurt my knee, could you help me clean it?”, and I was PROUD, because I didn’t cry. I wasn’t beaten into submission and taught that my feelings didn’t matter. I was loved, and hugged when I was hurt, and disciplined when it was necessary.

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