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What I Am Looking for in a Wife

June 15, 2009
Young man looking up to his left, thinking

What am I looking for in a Wife?

I want a girl who's interested in friendship first. I’ve run into three types of girls over the years—two of them make me chuckle, but with a hint of sorrow inside. The third class I’ve observed always makes me stop and think. And smile.

Just Say Hi But Don’t Be Ferocious

There are two types of young ladies, one at either end of the “girl spectrum.” The first is most prevalent in ultra conservative, homeschool settings. She ignores the existence of the guys around her, believing the lie that any interaction with a guy is either sinful or premature romantic involvement. That’s just wrong—God created both genders to edify and challenge each other!

I would say to that girl, just get over yourself, and say hi!

Then there’s the other extreme, the “ferocious females.” Now, I have to say that I appreciate energetic, engaging girls. What concerns me, however, is that with some of these young ladies, they display a sense of discontent with their singleness. “Need” is not attractive in a girl. When a girl already has an interesting life, she then has something to bring to the marriage.

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Looking for Sarah

This brings us to the type of girl that is very appealing and attractive. I like it when a young lady I meet takes the time to both talk and listen, especially when God has given us similar passions in life. And I believe that mutual passion that has the power to keep us together for a lifetime. At least, I think so. Remember, I’m still single.

Beyond that, my attention is always piqued when a girl is walking in the freedom of Christ. The most attractive women I’ve met are those who are satisfied where they are, yet are open for more of what God has for them. This is a freedom only God can give. But I’m looking for one more thing: confidence. A girl who has placed her confidence in Christ, who isn’t “afraid with any amazement” (1 Peter 3:6) but resembles Sarah—that’s a girl who will make any guy turn his head. Including this one.

My happily married brother has wisely told me, “Find a girl who is willing to follow. But you must be willing to give up as much as you’ve asked her to give up.” That’s what Sarah and Abraham did. They followed God even when they didn’t understand what he wanted. Sarah trusted God despite Abraham’s deficiencies. Sarah wasn’t afraid. She was confident in God. Yeah, I’m keeping my eye out for Sarah.

 

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5 comments on “What I Am Looking for in a Wife”

  1. I just don't agree with what you mentioned about the "ferocious" type. Most women I interact with on a daily basis have bought into the idea that neediness and vulnerability are unattractive to men. Nothing could be further from the truth! It's a woman showing a man that she has need of him that makes her that more attractive. need and vulnerability are good attributes in women. I personally like women who show how they feel and are passionate about communicating what they want from a Man. Needy guys are unattractive in some cases but not needy women!