Comments on: When the Worst Happens

By: Belinda Rush

Belinda Rush — Mon, 18 Mar 2013 12:57:27 +0000

I read a lot of the comments and situation, but none concerning if the predator is the biological parent that molested the child. I was told this by a friend that her daughter told her that her father touched her in unappropriate way. the daughter is only two years old and told her over and over that daddy hurt her and pointed to her private area. she prayed about it and feel that God is also telling her the same thing that her husband is molesting their child. She dont trust the father around the child but dont know how to front him about it, and what action to take.

By: Chuck Joyner

Chuck Joyner — Thu, 02 Aug 2012 14:12:04 +0000

Thank you for your honesty about your theological position. There is no basis for your assumption that we equate sex with sin. Sex is a God given wonder when enjoyed in the context for which he created it (marriage). Michael has even written a book of the subject, Holy Sex. There are many studies that theorize that homosexuality is inborn but no scientific evidence. We do not imply, but simply state that all sexual activity outside of marriage (as commonly defined for thousands of years) is sin, which does include all homosexual activity.

By: Hanson

Hanson — Tue, 31 Jul 2012 08:52:19 +0000

Realize that I say this as an atheist, but do not ignore me because of that.

You seem to have good intentions, but appear to have partaken of the concept of “Sex = evil”, particularly if it’s pre-marital and/or non-heterosexual. I am not excusing non-consensual sex, but your worldview seems limited. You never acknowledge that a small percentage of people are born gay or lesbian, and you imply that such people sin whenever they consequently express their sexuality.

I’m commenting 2 years after everyone else, but this needed to be said.

By: Marsha

Marsha — Tue, 23 Nov 2010 17:49:22 +0000

What is your advice for a lady whose husband has been viewing child porn? I cannot find that this is addressed in any articles. They have children. Should she ask him to move out? How does she keep the children safe?

By: A Thankful Mother

A Thankful Mother — Fri, 06 Aug 2010 14:43:14 +0000

This article was very timely, because we recently discovered a situation with our nine-year-old. He was looking at things secretly online on his dad’s phone. We would have responded very wrong had we not just read your article. Thank you for bravely embracing this subject.

By: Miriam Rainwater

Miriam Rainwater — Tue, 03 Aug 2010 12:00:45 +0000

While many of the ideas that were expressed in this article are good, I am afraid that I have a disagreement with some of your thoughts. You made this seem like all the children involved were always sinning. This is simply not true. As an individual who experienced child-on-child molestation as a five-year-old, I know the pain that can result from another’s sin. But I was not sinning. And those children who have been wronged were not necessarily sinning. They do not know and many times, they can’t get away. Please reconsider your thoughts concerning how parents should react. Anger and frustration, even if it is “mild” will not help and a spanking can be damaging. (I’m not saying that because I don’t believe in spanking; spanking is Biblical is most situations.) When my mom scolded me and spanked me she said that “only bad girls do that” and I shut down for fourteen years. If my mom thought I was a bad girl, then I must have been bad enough that people couldn’t love me. I just wanted her to hold me and let me cry and make sure I was safe. These are the thought processes of hurt little ones. Don’t turn them away!
Now, fifteen years later, I am just beginning to rebuild that relationship with my parents and others that I lost as God changes my thinking and shows me His love and peace. He has shown me that I am pure, and that He desires a relationship with me.

I am now writing a children’s allegory on God’s healing and hope. This is a message that those children need to hear, also. Parents, please consider these thoughts. If it is not your child’s fault, seek their hearts, let them cry, love them, point them to the Great Physician and watch God do a work beyond what you could have ever imagined! God still works the bad for good!

By: Barbara Thompson

Barbara Thompson — Fri, 23 Jul 2010 21:54:55 +0000

I really liked the humility that I saw at the end of your article. I see that as an improvement over your earlier writings. Thank you for including that.

By: Katie

Katie — Fri, 23 Jul 2010 03:08:13 +0000

Thank you so much for the information. I am over the top protective with my children. I dont trust anyone but my parents and my husbands parents. I have seen far to many children hurt by people you would never expect! It has lasting damage on children. I just want to say that your children are only young once. You cant re-do anything. Dont leave your children with anyone that you dont know really well. I dont go on dates with my husband very often because we dont have child care. But thats because I wont trust just anyone. There will be a day when we have dates again. Right now we have alone time after the kids go to bed! Please protect your children!

By: shiree vega

shiree vega — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 02:24:40 +0000

I have a comment for Susie. I read your question and shuddered. Your five little girls should not be left in this situation. By “more than the usual exploring”, if you mean they were molested, they should never be alone with that young man again- however you need to make that happen. You should get counsel from your Pastor and quick intervention. Just because someone says they don’t wan to do something again, doesn’t mean they won’t. Yes, God can forgive and restore people, but in the meantime, your girls are targets. Their safety is critical. Just happened to read your comment and was alarmed by what I interpreted or (perhaps misinterpreted) as a too-calm approach.

By: whitemts

whitemts — Sun, 11 Jul 2010 23:22:19 +0000

I would really like to see Michael address this situation in adopted children. Obviously this happens in a variety of families– step, half, bio, adopted, etc. Is the response different when dealing with an older adopted child? While perhaps the said child shouldn’t have been adopted, one can’t undo that. Once the child has molested the other child(ren), which is often a result of their own birth background, abuse, home cultures, delayed maturity, curiousity, etc…and no evil, what then? And when the child is caught, & instructed in how VERY serious this is in this country/this family, is VERY repentant. The child is so very sorry, and at a much younger age mentally~intellectually~emotionally, etc…what then? And not to minimize the damage to the victims, but what if this isn’t predatory, and their culpability is so much less? Is the responsibility of the parents of an adopted child different in the eyes of God? Can they be removed simply because they were adopted, and placed in a safe place to grow in the Lord? Please give your opinion with regards to adopted children. Is there a difference? Some dear Godly friends say they are exactly the same as a birth child, should always be treated the same, God sees no difference, & they were given just the same as a birth child. Other dear friends say it is different, and can be handled differently. I know this has/is been happening in families for ages, but this is happening in many, many adopted families, and these parents are at a loss for what to do. As you know adoption has become very popular in the church, among popular ministries, etc…and there are so many Christians adopting older, international children, and often damaged children, and then suffering great heartbreak. They are confused as they believed they were doing God’s will, obeying the Bible to care for orphans, etc…and this is happening. Yet, because of the nature of the subject, they are suffering silently, and confused. Any advice would be appreciated.
Your ministry has been a blessing, and you all remain in our prayers!!!