We receive letters like this so often it looks like a plague.
“My daughter and son-in-law have a 5-year-old they wish to homeschool. My daughter has let the in-laws know this. They have told my daughter that they will do all in their power the stop the Homeschooling. The mother-in-law has expressed bitterness, strife, and even violence. It’s a family business they share and live close to the in-laws. What advice do you have for me?”
Debi Pearl Answers:
We have heard from several families whose children were removed from the home by the authorities because the grandparents filed complaint. I know two families where the mother or father ended up in jail for months, while the children were placed in the custody of the grandparents, only to have the cased dropped after many thousands of dollars and months of turmoil. Parents should put the welfare of their children first. Never compromise your convictions. As for the other grandparents, you should not encourage fear or rebellion but encourage your daughter to trust her husband’s judgement. I would advise “a soft answer,” wisdom, printed information on homeschooling, and much prayer. Also, if the dad says “move,” quickly and quietly pack your bags. There are good jobs waiting, rental houses at a fair price and used furniture at the Goodwill, but only one set of children that are yours.
- Debi Pearl
I teach in Los Angeles Unified School District and I agree 100% with Mrs. Pearl!
You could also search the internet for the Department of Education for your State (I assume you live in the USA.)
Once you find your State’s Education Department website, you should be able to find the K-12 learning “standards”. You can print them out and the mother can put together a curriculum showing how she will meet these learning standards.
Also be sure to access the State test scores and consider the test scores of the students in mother’s area.
Truth is, y’all shouldn’t *have to* do all this just to satisfy others. However, perhaps preparing that might be a preemptive strike or arrow in mother’s quiver in a possible fight against the complaint of the in-laws.
If it REALLY is over the in-laws’s concern about homeschooling not being “as good as” public schooling, then perhaps writing out all the ways to meet the learning standards could be shared with the in-laws to *reassure* them (not for a verbalized purpose of “getting permission”).
I used to be very anti-homeschooling.
Until I met some mothers that homeschool! Their children are the most calm, well-behaved children I have *ever* met!
I have been teaching for LAUSD for 11 years.
There are some gems in our schools, but most kids are untrained and unrestrained to varying degrees. At the very least, Mom and Dad will be removing their kids from a sin-filled, evolution-preaching, authority-challenging system.
Besides, look at the lives of George Washington and Clara Barton. I think they might have been homeschooled.
my mother in law has also showed her disapproval in homeschool. i have twin girls who will be 5 this year and i intend on homeschooling, i mean ive been doing fine this long. She keeps saying to my girls if your stubborn mom would let us send you to school id pay for private school. Excuse me but isnt homeschool as private as you can get? So i have intentions on joining a local homeschool group who ive been introduced to by our sunday school teacher who has homeschooled for 16 years, that way we have back up. my husband just says he doesnt care as long as they are learning what they need to. So my advice find a local homeschool group who you can be friends with it will help to have some support .