This is Shoshanna here, the youngest of the five Pearl kids. My husband James and I own The Bulk Herb Store. Lately we have gotten a lot of e-mails from our customers who have begun to figure out that I am indeed one of the Pearl kids. Most think it’s great, but several really hate the fact that a grown-up Pearl kid might actually love God and be healthy, wealthy, and wise.
First email:
Hi,
I have been to your Bulk Herb Store web site and I have to tell you it is Awesome!! I was wondering if you are related to The Pearls….I love Mrs. Debi’s Help Meet book and my hubby has all kinds of CDs from Bro. Pearl. Excuse my boldness if you are not this girl. You still are doing wonders with the life God has given to you.
~Missionaries to Italy, Kerri Spicer
Second email:
Shoshanna,
Is your mom the same Debi Pearl of No Greater Joy Ministries? If so, I must confess to being a little floored by the type of person you are! So spunky, confident and even a great dresser! These are not the traits of a young lady that comes from a home that is supposedly harsh, restrictive, and legalistic (according to the negative reviews)! I imagined all of the Pearl girls to be awkward and shy. It would do me good to know if you are their daughter! ~Michelle
Third email:
Shoshanna,
Is it true your parents are the same people that wrote the book To Train Up a Child? You seem so nice and normal, and yet after reading a short part of that book I was vomiting! How can anyone with a conscience behave like such monsters? They are akin to the lowest of low and in my opinion need to be shot. I feel sorry for you and pray you don’t raise your child in the same manner!
~Jane
It’s true. I am Mike and Debi Pearl’s youngest daughter. My name is Shoshanna Rashell (Pearl) Easling and I am writing this to set the record straight. Over the years many people have commented on how surprised they were at how “normal” my siblings and I are. This makes me laugh!
Some people think because we grew up with parents who spanked us when we misbehaved that we should be emotionally scarred, socially crippled, broken-spirited, withdrawn, and so on. Boy, are they wrong! Me, broken-spirited? HA! No one that has ever known me would think such a thing. Our parents raised us to be spirited, creative, confident, successful, and funny. To top it off, I am a go-getter kind of gal (check out Mom’s Preparing book). My parents did not raise any spiritual clones! And none of us ever went through a time of rebellion against God or our parents.
I am 27 years old and married to a wonderful man, James. Everywhere we go, heads turn to check him out. Yes, he is handsome, but what catches people’s attention is the giggling baby girl in his arms, our five-year-old little rascal of a boy smiling mischievously while holding his daddy’s hand, and his glowing wife who obviously thinks he is super. We are blessed, and God is so good! I could go on and on about my amazing husband and my awesome life, but that is another article. I want to tell you how life was growing up in the Pearl house.
When I was a girl in pigtails, my mother taught me how to make biscuits. My dad trained me how to keep my stray hair out of the biscuits. I will never forget the day at the dinner table when Dad pulled a two-foot-long hair (three-quarters swallowed) out of his mouth. We laughed, gagged with him, and got a good story that day. We worked hard and played even harder. Most of my memories are at the creek swimming, lying in the sun, swinging off the rope, riding my horse, and building clubhouses.
I was well-trained, so I did not get many spankings, but I was a wild child, and there were times that I needed one. I remember that spankings were like, “what goes up, must come down.” If you are bad, you get spanked. No emotional drama, no anger, no loud voices; none of that stuff ever occurred in our house. I remember a few times as a child falling down and scraping my knees. I would go show it to Dad for some sympathy. I would always get the most from him, because every time he saw one of us hurt, he would look like he smashed his own thumb. He has always been a tender teddy bear.
When I was 13, I was over helping a young couple by babysitting their kids while they were working on a project. The couple got into a verbal fight and raised their voices. I was blown away. I had no idea couples fought. My dad and mom never raised their voices at each other or at us. I look back at my life in the Pearl house and I thank God I grew up there. I am so blessed to have such amazing parents. The more people I meet, the more I get to know, the more I realize how incredible my childhood was.
We never had any money growing up. Many would call us dirt poor. Rightly so! Oh, but if they knew, I felt like a rich princess raised on sunshine and love. My parents gave me life and showed me how to live it well. They gave me the tools I needed to be successful in love. They gave me the confidence that I could do anything, and when I got married they supported my life as a married woman. I could not ask for better parents! I got the best.
So, am I normal? I am me. I am different. I am happy. I love and respect my husband. I love and enjoy training my children just like I was loved and trained by my mom and dad. Creativity fills my life as I work with herbs, make training DVDs, and write.
AND, thankfully, God is still working on me.
Visit me at: BulkHerbStore.com
This just makes me smile. I knew you were their daughter, and it surprises me that others didn’t. It’s nice to know that their kids turned out to be normal, contributing members of society.
This just makes me smile. I knew you were their daughter, and it surprises me that others didn’t. It’s nice to know that their kids turned out to be normal, contributing members of society.
I loved this article Shoshanna. You did a great job responding to all of those emails. I have been a fan of No Greater Joy Ministries and Bulk Herb Store for several years, and I view your websites often. I homeschooled my two children for 6 years, and feel that they are quite normal also. They have been in the public school system for the last two years and have adapted quite well. No family is perfect, and we all have our days, but being disciplined does not have to mean torture. It means being trained. (Hence the title “To Train Up A Child.”)
The parent administering the discipline needs to be aware of the difference, and how to train with love. Thank you for sharing your feelings on this topic and setting the record straight.
I loved this article Shoshanna. You did a great job responding to all of those emails. I have been a fan of No Greater Joy Ministries and Bulk Herb Store for several years, and I view your websites often. I homeschooled my two children for 6 years, and feel that they are quite normal also. They have been in the public school system for the last two years and have adapted quite well. No family is perfect, and we all have our days, but being disciplined does not have to mean torture. It means being trained. (Hence the title “To Train Up A Child.”)
The parent administering the discipline needs to be aware of the difference, and how to train with love. Thank you for sharing your feelings on this topic and setting the record straight.
Shoshanna, beautifully written! I pray you’ve set the record straight, as was your aim. I have been following your family through your parents’ books, videos, magazines, etc for many years. I have admired your parents for their wonderful skills at bringing up 5 healthy, well-adjusted, and happy children. People like the woman who wrote the email about being so horrified are the kind who need to delve in deeper and not make snap judgments. I had a happy childhood, but nothing compared to yours and your sibs! Though I have always loved my own parents, there were times I’d wished I’d grown up in the Pearl house!!
Shoshanna, beautifully written! I pray you’ve set the record straight, as was your aim. I have been following your family through your parents’ books, videos, magazines, etc for many years. I have admired your parents for their wonderful skills at bringing up 5 healthy, well-adjusted, and happy children. People like the woman who wrote the email about being so horrified are the kind who need to delve in deeper and not make snap judgments. I had a happy childhood, but nothing compared to yours and your sibs! Though I have always loved my own parents, there were times I’d wished I’d grown up in the Pearl house!!
Thank you so much for the informative article. I never thought I would have to “support” your family’s views of child rearing to a fellow home
schooler and especially my sister! With different controversies going on in the home school community now, it is really sad that some look at what your folks say and “assume” their own views without looking at the finished product! I also was rather shocked that someone would use as strong as language as what the two above said. You are a wonderful example of your parents dedication to raising you as they felt the Lord directing them. I pray many more in the home school community would also follow your parents example.
Thank you so much for the informative article. I never thought I would have to “support” your family’s views of child rearing to a fellow home
schooler and especially my sister! With different controversies going on in the home school community now, it is really sad that some look at what your folks say and “assume” their own views without looking at the finished product! I also was rather shocked that someone would use as strong as language as what the two above said. You are a wonderful example of your parents dedication to raising you as they felt the Lord directing them. I pray many more in the home school community would also follow your parents example.
You’re are very Blessed, thank you for your article. You had me laughing and crying at the same time. God bless
You’re are very Blessed, thank you for your article. You had me laughing and crying at the same time. God bless
I think you guys are awesome. I pray for God’s wisdom everyday to train my children to be confident, secure, and obedient and for me to be the same (b/c I need lots of help!) I thank God for your family’s ministry.
I think you guys are awesome. I pray for God’s wisdom everyday to train my children to be confident, secure, and obedient and for me to be the same (b/c I need lots of help!) I thank God for your family’s ministry.
God bless you, your family and your parents!
God bless you, your family and your parents!
What a beautiful article! It makes my heart sing to read it. I also have a few tears for the loss of such a beautiful life for myself BUT as you said, Shoshanna, God is still working on His girl even at my age, 65. My life begins afresh with Christ every merciful morning that He gives. It encourages me when I remember the ages of God’s servants in the scriptures who were quite a bit older than I am before they did the great things that they did! How exciting to know that we have a God, and Father Who cares so much for His creation that He would send His Son to give His very life for me (for you) and provide a way to be united to The Father and to be able then to grow in grace and love that surpasses any ability to comprehend. Most of my life has been sad and unproductive in so many ways. Praise God for His great provision. His precious Son’s Blood that cleanses us from ALL our sins and continually loves us into eternal life. I can’t tell enough of this great and powerful love of God! Aren’t we so blessed, you and I. Much love in Christ, your big Sister in Him, Barb Siron
What a beautiful article! It makes my heart sing to read it. I also have a few tears for the loss of such a beautiful life for myself BUT as you said, Shoshanna, God is still working on His girl even at my age, 65. My life begins afresh with Christ every merciful morning that He gives. It encourages me when I remember the ages of God’s servants in the scriptures who were quite a bit older than I am before they did the great things that they did! How exciting to know that we have a God, and Father Who cares so much for His creation that He would send His Son to give His very life for me (for you) and provide a way to be united to The Father and to be able then to grow in grace and love that surpasses any ability to comprehend. Most of my life has been sad and unproductive in so many ways. Praise God for His great provision. His precious Son’s Blood that cleanses us from ALL our sins and continually loves us into eternal life. I can’t tell enough of this great and powerful love of God! Aren’t we so blessed, you and I. Much love in Christ, your big Sister in Him, Barb Siron
Hello,
This is a beautiful example of being raised in a home with love and compassion. Thank you for writing this, it is an encouragement for us young moms to keeping training our children. Not everyone will agree that’s ok because we have the promises of our Lord. Really does anything else matter? God bless
Hello,
This is a beautiful example of being raised in a home with love and compassion. Thank you for writing this, it is an encouragement for us young moms to keeping training our children. Not everyone will agree that’s ok because we have the promises of our Lord. Really does anything else matter? God bless
Shoshanna I have followed you on No Greater Joy since I have subscribed over 10 years ago.
Must say the magazine with you and James’s marriage written was like reading Songs of S
olomon. Such beauty and done in such a humble fashion with God’s grace written all over it.
There will always be a negative naysayer in every group. Those who do not know the Lord may be the ones criticizing you and your family. You keep doing what God has called you to do and be the shining example to all of us here that read and watch you. May God forever bless your family.
Shoshanna I have followed you on No Greater Joy since I have subscribed over 10 years ago.
Must say the magazine with you and James’s marriage written was like reading Songs of S
olomon. Such beauty and done in such a humble fashion with God’s grace written all over it.
There will always be a negative naysayer in every group. Those who do not know the Lord may be the ones criticizing you and your family. You keep doing what God has called you to do and be the shining example to all of us here that read and watch you. May God forever bless your family.
I love your stuff. from the time I “found” you I have not been able to get enough. Sure wish I had your material and learned to apply it when my children were little. If I could have a baby now I would enjoy trainng and nurturing with all your methods–Your Bible studies are great,too.
God bless! I hope your Good and Evil Books reach thousands for Jesus. Sincerely, Carolyn Bates
I love your stuff. from the time I “found” you I have not been able to get enough. Sure wish I had your material and learned to apply it when my children were little. If I could have a baby now I would enjoy trainng and nurturing with all your methods–Your Bible studies are great,too.
God bless! I hope your Good and Evil Books reach thousands for Jesus. Sincerely, Carolyn Bates
Thank you for the little insight into your families life. God Bless you and your family.
Thank you for the little insight into your families life. God Bless you and your family.
What a wonderful and obviously needed article, Shoshanna. It’s unfortunate that your dear parents are misunderstood by so many but then so was/is our precious Lord. A “set apart” life is not so appealing to everyone that has not experienced it. (I am still learning.) But I’m sure many would better understand if they were fortunate enough to taste it’s richness. I, for one, am extremely thankful that NGJ ministries has entered my life as they have played a key role in my relationship with Jesus, my husband and our daughter. What a blessing you are to bring such honor to your folks! Maybe you and your siblings should consider writing a book on your upbringing:) It would be great I’m sure. Thank You NGJ!
God Bless You and Yours!
Leslie
Elkhart, IN
What a wonderful and obviously needed article, Shoshanna. It’s unfortunate that your dear parents are misunderstood by so many but then so was/is our precious Lord. A “set apart” life is not so appealing to everyone that has not experienced it. (I am still learning.) But I’m sure many would better understand if they were fortunate enough to taste it’s richness. I, for one, am extremely thankful that NGJ ministries has entered my life as they have played a key role in my relationship with Jesus, my husband and our daughter. What a blessing you are to bring such honor to your folks! Maybe you and your siblings should consider writing a book on your upbringing:) It would be great I’m sure. Thank You NGJ!
God Bless You and Yours!
Leslie
Elkhart, IN
I love all you Pearls. I feel like, through your books I’m an extended part of your family. My husband will often say, “Michael Pearl says … and its the same conclusion I came to!” We are blessed by your child training materials, blessed by learning how to train myself and control my own emotions to parent joyfully, blessed because I know what the word of God says on being a wonderful wife. We are BLESSED and your ministry has so much to do with that. I hate it when people attack you. My husband and I are praying with resolve for you. God is using you all in this time in more ways than you may know. Thank you.
I love all you Pearls. I feel like, through your books I’m an extended part of your family. My husband will often say, “Michael Pearl says … and its the same conclusion I came to!” We are blessed by your child training materials, blessed by learning how to train myself and control my own emotions to parent joyfully, blessed because I know what the word of God says on being a wonderful wife. We are BLESSED and your ministry has so much to do with that. I hate it when people attack you. My husband and I are praying with resolve for you. God is using you all in this time in more ways than you may know. Thank you.
Soshanna! Thank you!
Wonderful response ..
and uplifting to boot!
Praise God for your testimony! In Christ -
This should bolster us all!
Soshanna! Thank you!
Wonderful response ..
and uplifting to boot!
Praise God for your testimony! In Christ -
This should bolster us all!
I love your testimony. Thank you for setting the record straight and I pray my 3 teen boys will turn out “normal”. LOL I have struggled to follow your parents’ example despite being told we were too strict. I have 3 fabulous boys who are finding their footing in the adult world despite or because of their parenting.
Either way, they are normal. we are babysitting small children and it does my heart good to see them pass on their teachings to the little ones. 
I love your testimony. Thank you for setting the record straight and I pray my 3 teen boys will turn out “normal”. LOL I have struggled to follow your parents’ example despite being told we were too strict. I have 3 fabulous boys who are finding their footing in the adult world despite or because of their parenting.
Either way, they are normal. we are babysitting small children and it does my heart good to see them pass on their teachings to the little ones. 
What a great glimpse into life as a Pearl child. It sounds wonderful! Thanks to your parents and the ministry God has given them, my husband and I are joyfully training our 14 month son! Thank you and your family for sharing so much of what our great God has taught you. P.s. Thank God that you are not too normal!
What a great glimpse into life as a Pearl child. It sounds wonderful! Thanks to your parents and the ministry God has given them, my husband and I are joyfully training our 14 month son! Thank you and your family for sharing so much of what our great God has taught you. P.s. Thank God that you are not too normal!
Very well written, Shoshanna!
Very well written, Shoshanna!
This warms my heart. I have always suspected as much. Bless you, Shoshanna!
This warms my heart. I have always suspected as much. Bless you, Shoshanna!
Way to Go!! Have been reading your parents material for 13 yrs now, and I love it! Keep it coming!
Way to Go!! Have been reading your parents material for 13 yrs now, and I love it! Keep it coming!
My goodness, I sure feel sorry for Jane (the writer of the 3rd email) and her ultra-sensitive gag reflex. It seems this is an affliction common these days except at times and in circumstances that might call for it. I think what should really be bending society over porcelain commodes are parents that hand their children everything, instruct them in nothing, and leave them to their own devices so that they can sit around planning worlds of trouble. The biggest troublemakers I’ve seen are the ones who’s parents had jello for spines, not the ones who received a well-deserved spanking on occasion. I have read the book To Train a Child all the way through and felt it made perfect sense…and why wouldn’t it?…the principles themselves are from the bible.
My goodness, I sure feel sorry for Jane (the writer of the 3rd email) and her ultra-sensitive gag reflex. It seems this is an affliction common these days except at times and in circumstances that might call for it. I think what should really be bending society over porcelain commodes are parents that hand their children everything, instruct them in nothing, and leave them to their own devices so that they can sit around planning worlds of trouble. The biggest troublemakers I’ve seen are the ones who’s parents had jello for spines, not the ones who received a well-deserved spanking on occasion. I have read the book To Train a Child all the way through and felt it made perfect sense…and why wouldn’t it?…the principles themselves are from the bible.
What a glowing testimony! I had no idea you were the Pearl’s daughter.
You say that your parents did not raise spiritual clones, and yet you were never in rebellion against them. Could you give an example of a spiritual matter in which you disagree without being in rebellion? I have struggled with the concept of rebellion and your answer could really help.
What a glowing testimony! I had no idea you were the Pearl’s daughter.
You say that your parents did not raise spiritual clones, and yet you were never in rebellion against them. Could you give an example of a spiritual matter in which you disagree without being in rebellion? I have struggled with the concept of rebellion and your answer could really help.
Reassuring to see the product of a home where swats to the bottom were okay. Society is constantly telling us that this is child abuse. But is it more abusive to let a child go out into the world a self-centered brat or a loving, productive human being?
Reassuring to see the product of a home where swats to the bottom were okay. Society is constantly telling us that this is child abuse. But is it more abusive to let a child go out into the world a self-centered brat or a loving, productive human being?
Great article Shoshanna! It is surprising that they didn’t know Debi and Micheal were your parents, even more so some of their comments. I love Bulk Herb Store, and All of the pearls books! I have read “Preparing to be a help meet” twice! Love it!! God Bless you and your wonderful family for all the work that you do.
Great article Shoshanna! It is surprising that they didn’t know Debi and Micheal were your parents, even more so some of their comments. I love Bulk Herb Store, and All of the pearls books! I have read “Preparing to be a help meet” twice! Love it!! God Bless you and your wonderful family for all the work that you do.
What an inspiring and wonderfully written article Shoshanna!..I love and appreciate the stand your parents took on bringing up you and your siblings in the training and admonition of the Lord. I have read your family’s books for the past four years and appreciate the teachings and examples that you all share..God is still working on my husband and myself, so I am hopeful that we,too, will bring up our four children to be secure,obedient, and creative young people who love God and others the way your parents have..Society constantly tells us to give our children more of the world and less of what God tells us in His Word and I’ve seen the brokenness and insecurity and unhappiness that breeds in children who have everything that money can buy, but are so empty and hurting inside..May God continue to bless the Pearl family and continue to increase your territory..Your ministry is a much-needed beacon in and ever-increasingly dark world..Thank you for your response!!!
What an inspiring and wonderfully written article Shoshanna!..I love and appreciate the stand your parents took on bringing up you and your siblings in the training and admonition of the Lord. I have read your family’s books for the past four years and appreciate the teachings and examples that you all share..God is still working on my husband and myself, so I am hopeful that we,too, will bring up our four children to be secure,obedient, and creative young people who love God and others the way your parents have..Society constantly tells us to give our children more of the world and less of what God tells us in His Word and I’ve seen the brokenness and insecurity and unhappiness that breeds in children who have everything that money can buy, but are so empty and hurting inside..May God continue to bless the Pearl family and continue to increase your territory..Your ministry is a much-needed beacon in and ever-increasingly dark world..Thank you for your response!!!
Shoshanna, what a great article about you and your family. I have enjoyed your parents books and we love your teas. God has blessed you and your siblings with great memories.
Shoshanna, what a great article about you and your family. I have enjoyed your parents books and we love your teas. God has blessed you and your siblings with great memories.
Jane’s letter was so inapproiate. Even if she doesn’t agree, what right does she have to speak against your parents! I wonder how Jane’s parents raised her, that she would turn out to be so rude! I have read all the Pearl childrearing material, and if you open your mind enough to actually finish reading one of their books, you will find that it is a very loving approach and consistent with God’s word.
Jane’s letter was so inapproiate. Even if she doesn’t agree, what right does she have to speak against your parents! I wonder how Jane’s parents raised her, that she would turn out to be so rude! I have read all the Pearl childrearing material, and if you open your mind enough to actually finish reading one of their books, you will find that it is a very loving approach and consistent with God’s word.
My husband doens’t allow me to spank, but I use your parents materials all the time to help correct attitudes and discipline as best I can! Of course you are NORMAL!!!!
My husband doens’t allow me to spank, but I use your parents materials all the time to help correct attitudes and discipline as best I can! Of course you are NORMAL!!!!
When I travelled with my mother and took my children to see their extended family in the province of Alberta, my mother did comment on the fact that she thought I was “too strict” with my children. However, as soon as we arrived back home the phone calls from extended family began. “Thank you so much for visiting and how wonderfully well behaved your children are!” Praise God there are people out there who have not forgotten the ways of bibilical child training and are willing to share them with others.
When I travelled with my mother and took my children to see their extended family in the province of Alberta, my mother did comment on the fact that she thought I was “too strict” with my children. However, as soon as we arrived back home the phone calls from extended family began. “Thank you so much for visiting and how wonderfully well behaved your children are!” Praise God there are people out there who have not forgotten the ways of bibilical child training and are willing to share them with others.
Your article was very encouraging to read. I read the book To Train Up A Child and To Be his Helpmeet and they have opened my eyes to so many issues that were confusing to me. God is indeed a God of order. I am trying to raise my kids with these practical God given values. God continue to bless you and your family.
Your article was very encouraging to read. I read the book To Train Up A Child and To Be his Helpmeet and they have opened my eyes to so many issues that were confusing to me. God is indeed a God of order. I am trying to raise my kids with these practical God given values. God continue to bless you and your family.
Hi, I have fallowed you on the herbs for a couple of years. Mostly because We have a lot incommon and I feel like I know you already. Our Daughters were born at the same time to. any ways I just saw this acticle and was surprised that anyone would think you would be anything else. It blows my mind at some peoples closemindedness.
Hi, I have fallowed you on the herbs for a couple of years. Mostly because We have a lot incommon and I feel like I know you already. Our Daughters were born at the same time to. any ways I just saw this acticle and was surprised that anyone would think you would be anything else. It blows my mind at some peoples closemindedness.
I knew they were your parents. I actually knew of them before I knew about you. Boy I sometimes shake my head at what some people think as being abusive! You spank your child and somehow you’re abusive but if you bring your one year old to day care and go home to watch soaps all day, you get to work for child and family service that takes away children that get spank by their “abusive parents”! Man this is a sick world! It’s funny how so many people these days think they know better than God! I have personaly told someone that the Bible says that we are to not spare the rod, only for that person to say, “Yeah, but it’s different now, times have changed.” What!!! Are you kidding me?! Yeah we’re the dumb ones, still doing things the Bible way.
I knew they were your parents. I actually knew of them before I knew about you. Boy I sometimes shake my head at what some people think as being abusive! You spank your child and somehow you’re abusive but if you bring your one year old to day care and go home to watch soaps all day, you get to work for child and family service that takes away children that get spank by their “abusive parents”! Man this is a sick world! It’s funny how so many people these days think they know better than God! I have personaly told someone that the Bible says that we are to not spare the rod, only for that person to say, “Yeah, but it’s different now, times have changed.” What!!! Are you kidding me?! Yeah we’re the dumb ones, still doing things the Bible way.
Just because you survived your childhood doesn’t make spanking right. My parents smoked in our house growing up, we didn’t have car seats as toddlers, we were spanked…all poor choices and I survived, but I would not do the same with my children…OPEN your minds to the althernatives. Deirdre
Just because you survived your childhood doesn’t make spanking right. My parents smoked in our house growing up, we didn’t have car seats as toddlers, we were spanked…all poor choices and I survived, but I would not do the same with my children…OPEN your minds to the althernatives. Deirdre
@Deirdre – I suggest that you reread the article. She did not need to
@Deirdre – I suggest that you reread the article. She did not need to
NGJ – I did read the article and it proves the resilience of the human spirit but by no means change the fact that putting your hands on your children to inflict pain, break their will, silence them is the way we should be raising our children. It makes me more scared than anything else that people actually follow this advice. I just hope there are enough people out there who can pass on the light. Can you think of any other instance in your life where it is appropriate to strike another person? Your coworker? Your teacher? Your student? Your auto mechanic? Why would you hit your children and hide behind the word discipline or God? What are you teaching your children when you hit them? How does it make YOU feel? How do you think it makes them feel. I am surprise you allowed my voice on your page as I notice you delete any contrary comments, so I appreciate that. Hopefully I will awaken something in a parent who is having misgivings about this form of “parenting”.
NGJ – I did read the article and it proves the resilience of the human spirit but by no means change the fact that putting your hands on your children to inflict pain, break their will, silence them is the way we should be raising our children. It makes me more scared than anything else that people actually follow this advice. I just hope there are enough people out there who can pass on the light. Can you think of any other instance in your life where it is appropriate to strike another person? Your coworker? Your teacher? Your student? Your auto mechanic? Why would you hit your children and hide behind the word discipline or God? What are you teaching your children when you hit them? How does it make YOU feel? How do you think it makes them feel. I am surprise you allowed my voice on your page as I notice you delete any contrary comments, so I appreciate that. Hopefully I will awaken something in a parent who is having misgivings about this form of “parenting”.
@Deirdre – We do not delete
@Deirdre – We do not delete
I’m misguided and illogical?! Now who is the name caller? I discipline my children with respect to their humanity. Kids who do not get hit by their parents are not all running around wild as your followers like to think. 63% of Americans spank and studies have proven time and time again that it is an ineffective form of discipline. It teaches them nothing and erodes the relationship with the parent. I am a stay at home mother of two. I can’t wrap my mind around people who would use tubing from hardware store to hit their children, spray them with hoses, spank an infant. I implore you to educate yourself on the alternatives. That I’m misguided is laughable, however this parenting approach you are selling is so revolting I just have no words. Hopefully it is only a matter of time before these books are banned.
I’m misguided and illogical?! Now who is the name caller? I discipline my children with respect to their humanity. Kids who do not get hit by their parents are not all running around wild as your followers like to think. 63% of Americans spank and studies have proven time and time again that it is an ineffective form of discipline. It teaches them nothing and erodes the relationship with the parent. I am a stay at home mother of two. I can’t wrap my mind around people who would use tubing from hardware store to hit their children, spray them with hoses, spank an infant. I implore you to educate yourself on the alternatives. That I’m misguided is laughable, however this parenting approach you are selling is so revolting I just have no words. Hopefully it is only a matter of time before these books are banned.
@Dierdre – I was not calling you a name, merely describing your comments. Having worked with hundreds of troubled youth for several years, I did not encounter a single one whose family practiced the child training philosophy of the Pearls. They all fell into two broad categories – either they had suffered unloving and brutal abuse or had never experienced a spanking of any kind and mocked the thought of it.
I suggest that you check out Dr. Marjorie Gunnoe
@Dierdre – I was not calling you a name, merely describing your comments. Having worked with hundreds of troubled youth for several years, I did not encounter a single one whose family practiced the child training philosophy of the Pearls. They all fell into two broad categories – either they had suffered unloving and brutal abuse or had never experienced a spanking of any kind and mocked the thought of it.
I suggest that you check out Dr. Marjorie Gunnoe
The article you posted doesn’t give real conclusive evidence that spanking is better form of discipline. I’m in no hurry to run out to hardware store to purchase my rubber tubing whip. There are many more researched based proven alternatives to your “training”. There are so many possible negative outcomes when using corporal punishment I don’t understand how anyone would be willing to take that chance. I was spanked as a child and I guess by all accounts I have turned out fine. Finished college, established a career, bought a house, don’t do drugs, etc. But I attribute my success to resilience. I have no doubt my parents loved me, but they did make a poor parenting choice and I will still never understand people who choose to hit their children. As for not judging, all I can say is I hope you are not doing it in a public place, because I will call the police.
The article you posted doesn’t give real conclusive evidence that spanking is better form of discipline. I’m in no hurry to run out to hardware store to purchase my rubber tubing whip. There are many more researched based proven alternatives to your “training”. There are so many possible negative outcomes when using corporal punishment I don’t understand how anyone would be willing to take that chance. I was spanked as a child and I guess by all accounts I have turned out fine. Finished college, established a career, bought a house, don’t do drugs, etc. But I attribute my success to resilience. I have no doubt my parents loved me, but they did make a poor parenting choice and I will still never understand people who choose to hit their children. As for not judging, all I can say is I hope you are not doing it in a public place, because I will call the police.
The article was mentioned because of its reference to Dr. Gunnoe
The article was mentioned because of its reference to Dr. Gunnoe
Adults get spanked all the time in ways that matter to them, but you can’t fire an angry rebellious preschooler from his job or fine him money or send him to jail for stealing toys he KNOWS belong to a sibling, etc. The Pearl’s fun and loving training games teach right ways of living with a priority on a close family relationship as #1, with calm anger-free spankings reserved ONLY for on purpose rebellion. I have tried taking toys or privileges away. There are some rebellious attitudes that nothing works on but a calm spanking. If I use anger in ANY way, including the angry face or even using an irritated voice, the discipline encourages more rebellion, like trying harder to not get caught next time. Most people just cannot wrap their minds around the concept of anger-free parenting, so they assume the spankings include anger like they have done as a parent or received as a child. The parents who yell at their kids or avoid them with busyness because they don’t know how to teach their child to be loving and hard working rather than selfish and lazy, are abusive even if they never ever spank. Children are not short adults so they have to be taught different and punished different. If anyone feels children should have the same treatment and freedoms as adults in every way, then 4 year olds should be free to vote and anyone tall enough to drive a car should be able to drive or work a paid job. Funny a 13 yo can get birth control without parental consent (I used to work as a secretary for an OB GYN) or arrange for someone to kill her child because she doesn’t feel like being responsible for her actions, but she isn’t seen by the public as mentally capable of handling a major decision like voting for mayor or school levies.
The Pearl’s way of raising kids almost eliminates the need for punishment of any kind and they even have an article on spankless parenting. Biblical child raising is fun for the kid and they are always thankful for it if it is done the way God commands parents to do, especially the not making the child frustrated part. Many parents are disciplining for their convenience rather than the child’s benefit and the happiness of their relationship. They don’t teach the kid much, but use a lot of frustration voice even if they never spank. That is rejecting the child not just the behavior. A godly correction causes the child to actually be sorry for the behavior not just getting caught, and causes the child to actually respect the parent and want to behave in loving hard working ways next time.
It would be an interesting comparison to see a family raise their children exactly the same as the Pearls minus ANY physical correction whatsoever and compare the adult children and their marriages and grandchildren too. Five loving fun interesting happy moral wise hard working guaranteed-married-for-life adult children is a pretty good success rate. I look forward to seeing a zero divorce rate, happy marriage, loving parenting set of grandchildren too. Results matter more than talk. Communism looked good on paper too. Adult punishments don’t work on kids because kids don’t live adult lives. Even adults get lots of training, some of it fun. Training needs to be fun for kids, but not adults (but it helps sometimes, but often just wastes valuable time, but we can take that time with kids since they need to be emotionally close with people. Adults can learn quite a lot without emotional closeness needed from their instructors/bosses, and it’s often inappropriate anyway for several reasons.) I think most adults would prefer a brief spanking over a financial fine any day. Kids are the reverse as parents are obligated to provide for their needs and they always get gifts for the extras anyway eventually. Adults don’t have that loving safety net, to be spanked then hugged and still get all the food, clothes, shelter & toys they need anyway. There are religions that treat a 9 year old girl as an adult, including marriage with full consummation. Other cultures, as soon as she gets her first period, she’s marriaegable because she’s physically adult. It’s funny that those who want kids to be treated as adults in the discipline area wouldn’t let them vote or drive their car or get a credit card, etc, yet they encourage them or look the other way when they date alone and unmentored years before marriage ability, then get upset with the youth for following their hormones and emotions before they were ready for responsibility to be loyal for life or pay for their own food, shelter, clothing, “toys”. My kids know that people who try to get what they are not ready to fully care for are selfish and impatient, which means anger problem and most likely debt slavery willingness attitude: buy now, pay later… maybe. Spanking a preschool, young elementary age child is a buy now, pay now philosophy. Please note that spanking Biblically is reserved for outright mean selfish rebellion and not simple mistakes. They know EXACTLY what they are doing and don’t care about others or their own safety at that moment. I am certain that the Pearls spanked their children in all of their children’s lives combined less than the average non-spanking parent yells or is rude to one of their children in one year (or month?). Parental anger is a direct result of adult selfishness and neglecting teaching children in fun structured ways how to behave and care for others more than self. Parents who know how to teach children right and wrong and how to make it fun for everyone, don’t have to get angry, they get creative and are confident that God will help them think of something good and soon. It’s a guaranteed promise! There are zero excuses for parents losing their cool, even if they are non-spanking parents.
Ephesians 6:4 And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
1 Corinthians 10:13 There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.
James 1:5 If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.