Question

Posted Tuesday, March 11th, 2014 03:39 pm GMT -6

I recently started going to a Christian college and have met many wonderful guys. I wouldn’t consider any of them to be prospects since we are heading different directions, but I would love to just be friends. Many opportunities have presented themselves for me to study with these guys for different classes or to hang out in a group, ¬†or to simply chat. Im outgoing and people view me as attractive. So my question is this: can these guys view me as a friend? I’ve been told that guys cannot view girls as just friends so I don’t want to mislead these young men by spending time together “as friends” if they will not be able to view me as a sister in Christ/ friend. I appreciate any insight I can get on this issue.

Answers

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  1. daddysgirlleh

    Hey there! That is a really good question, and I’ve often struggled myself with how to treat guys that I view as just “friends”! From observation, reading, and a little experience though, I’ve learned that you have to be really careful when it comes to the area of having guy friends. Even though guys might be able to view us as just a friend, it can become a very difficult situation if you are not careful about how much time you spend around them or how close you are to them. Also, another thing to think about is how many “girl friends” (just friends that are girls) would you want your future husband to have? Then challenge that to yourself. You want to save everything for your future husband, including your male friendship area. If you spend a lot of time with and really get to know other guys a lot, it could become a temptation to give part of your heart away or whatever to someone else. I’ve seen quite a few girl-guy friendships where someone ended up getting hurt or being led on etc… I also have a friend who was really good friends with this guy and then he got married and they have continued being really good friends, but I feel for his wife because no girl would want her husband to have another good “girl friend”! I’m not trying to say through all of this that you can’t talk to guys or anything like that; I talk to guys at church and stuff! I am just talking about the closeness of having guy friends and how much time you send with them. I hope that this helps some!! :) Blessings to you!

    # Tuesday, March 11th, 2014 08:40 pm GMT -6