Question

Posted September 10, 2012

tdomf_a672a

HI I am wondering if any of you have any advice for me. I am the second oldest of 11 kids in my family. My parents have always been great and I love them a ton. But over the last year it seems that our family relationship has really gone down hill. We used to always have fun times and a lot of joy. My mom has homeschooled us all and my dad was a pastor for 8 years. We really have a great life but recently I see a lot of stress between my parents and they are always telling us new stuff that we “Have” to work on. I respect my parents and try hard to help them and do as they want, but it always seems there is something new and that when I think it is going well they don’t see it. Quite honestly I am not really sure what to do. I recently have gone to Haiti and I believe I am called there but at the moment I am waiting on the Lord. Each time I find joy in and at the home my mom and dad come up with something different to work on. I so believe that as women our call is to the home and that there is always stuff to work on but I am a really joyful person and having just gone to Haiti, I believe we have a lot to be thankful for. And that we should be joyful. It seems to me that there will always be training to do with little kids but we have to make a choice to be happy and praise God. My dad told me last week that this is the first time in his life that their marriage has been stressed and that he has prayed for guidance. They always seem mad about something. I hate seeing that and I try to let them go on dates together but then they come up with some reason not to go. We have always been the family that others look up too, but now it seems we have to sort of fake it. I am not that kind of person, I try to talk to my dad about it but He then thinks I don’t care. I pray a lot and I know that God has a plan but I am really open to suggestions and advice. I don’t want to sound like a complainer and I really hate even writing this but I am hoping to see if anyone out there has anything that I should do or try. Thanks and God bless you all!

Answers

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  1. Miracle Baby (guest)

    I’m sorry dear, but i am confused to what your question is???

    # September 17, 2012

  2. liera

    I believe, the question is what should I do about my unhappy parents? Your parents keep telling you and your siblings that the family needs to work on some sort of sin or annoyance? If you are sinning, like fighting with your siblings, or not doing enough chores, then you need to fix your problem. However, if you are not sinning, and being obedient, then continue to be happy and pray in private for your parents. Be loving to your mom and your dad, but remember you are not their marriage counselor. You should not be asking your parents about their marriage problems. A good parent, would not tell their child about their marriage problems, so don’t feel you need to help them work through their issues. You can not fix your parents marriage, only they can make the active choices to obey God’s word and love each other. If they have not read Created to be His Help Meet, or, Created to Need a Help Meet, they would make great Christmas gifts. I am sure your parents have Bibles, that is why I did not suggest getting them one. Just be a good kid, and that is the best you can do. This is not your fault. You can not do anything for them. I am so glad you got to go on a missions trip, I hope you continue to keep the joy of the Lord! What a great attitude to have, to want to be happy and continue in the joy of God is totally awesome! You sound like you will be just fine if you continue in righteousness, but you can’t worry about the sins of your parents.

    # December 18, 2012

  3. raggedycottagegarden

    I don’t know what problems your family is exactly facing. Maybe its the fault of the parents, maybe its the fault of the children. Definitely the parents notice that something is wrong. As a child under the age of 20 it may be difficult for you to identify the spiritual issues at hand, I would encourage you to do your best not to show any anger towards them in this situation and submit fully to their authority especially if it is guided in a godly direction. If you are over the age of 26 our eyes to the problems in family and the world are much more apparent especially if you are knowledgeable of biblical things. At that age we can identify where our mother or father failed each other but ONLY because of the weakness in our flesh and such things like that.

    In the meantime, spend quality “dating” time with Christ regularly. Dress up and make it fun. Talking with HIM about these problems and listening to his word can help you benefit greatly. Writing down what he says like you are his bride will make you feel like the queen of the world…..afterall he knows what the president ate for dinner 😉

    Maybe a local library may have the resources available so you could investigate this problem. The bible is guaranteed to have the solution, unfortunately our humanness trys to get in the way of solving family problems successfully. Maybe you could show these resources to your family and see if they would like to listen in.

    # March 29, 2013