I was 17 when I received an e-mail from a nice young man asking me to design a website for him.  I had advertised my services on my profile on a homeschool website I was a part of.  I said, “sure” and sent him my contract to read over and sign.  So I started designing his website, and would talk to him over the phone about this and that that involved his decisions.  Those calls were once a week.  Long-story-short in a couple of months we were really good friends and were simply using the website designing as a sort of cover up.  I suggested he call my brother, seeing as they had a lot of common interests, and they began talking on the phone a lot too.  After a while, my brother asked him to come visit, which “just happened” to be on the weekend of my graduation.  When I saw him for the first time in the airport, I knew that I was going to marry him.  But over that visit nothing happened.  He went back home, and I waited for a whole month, still “just friends.”  Finally, one day we were chatting about a book I had sent him to read, and he told me the words that made me dizzy for a little bit.  He actually said, “I like you”!  Oh my!  I said it back.  Then he said, “we need to wait until the time is right.”  I was so confused.  So I told him “okay” and resigned myself to waiting. ♥ He was scheduled to come visit us again in a couple months, so I was excited about that.  The second time he visited, though, my older brother had moved for work, so it was really obvious that he had come to visit me.  A while after he arrived, he asked me if I would like to start courting (of course I said yes!), and he asked my dad for his blessing.  My dad happily gave it to him. ♥ Six weeks later my mom and I flew (over 2000 miles) to visit him and meet his family.  On that visit we got engaged.  And a whirlwind seven weeks later we got married in a small country church. ♥ We’re still living the happily forever after!

I am reading your book on Preparing to Be a Help Meet and gained completely new insight. According to the guidelines in your book I realize that I am not READY yet even though I will turn 40 this year. Meanwhile I can’t see any sign of any male who is interested in me.

I go to church and serve though I still have very low self esteem. looking at my younger sisters in Christ who are walking hand in hand with their boyfriends/husbands I sometimes feel shameful and wonder if God forgets me completely.

Debi, would you like to share your opinion on this? Maybe I can also use it to help someone in the future.

Thanks

Lisa

I need some advice. I posted a while ago that I was concerned I was too smart for guys and that it may put them ‘off.’ I got lots of great tips, so…  thank you! I haven’t had a boyfriend so far, am 23 years old, and somehow I have this wifey/motherly nature to settle down and marry a Godly man. I am stuck. I am not sure what to feel/do/think lately and feel down at times that it will never happen.

I also realise there are things I have to sort in my life, such as better time management, staying humble & meek, organising & prioritising and one thing I have battled with by my nature is slothfulness & stubborness. I am going to go through the slothful scriptures in the Teaching Guide of PTBAHM.

Do you have any uplifting lines or instructions? God bless, S xx

“I’m sure that most of them are under the impression that the church’s view on this has been the same down all of the generations. That the church has always taught ‘True Love Waits’, even back in the days when it was written in Latin on purity rings: “Verus Amor Manet”.

But it wasn’t. They didn’t. Far from saying ‘True Love Waits’, the church fathers (the protestant ones. Catholicism is another issue.) told the young people to, ummm, marry. And the church and their fathers were supposed to make sure this happened.”

I found it to be a fascinating article. Enjoy!

Is it wrong if a woman does not want to marry? What if your goal is to help other people, for which decides not to marry?