Question

Posted June 5, 2013

I am a discouraged 22 yr. old. Where I live in the Midwest, there seem to be very, very few young men who are even Christians. There are so few youth in the local churches and the church we go to now has no young people; the majority are over 50. I could probably count the Christian young men that I know on one hand. We have been trying to meet other Christian families and have attended a Bible family camp. I gave my life to God to be  a missionary, but I don’t really desire to go alone. I have asked my mom if there are any young men out there who love God and are in His word, who are going to the mission field and she tries to encourage me that God knows where the needle is in the haystack. But is there anything I can do?

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  1. Allie

    Hi!!
    You know, I think many girls have the same struggle.

    I’m 23 yr. old, almost 24. Single. I only know one godly man about my age, but he has already put his on other girl hahaha. This has been a huge struggle in my heart. But the Lord is good, and more than enough.

    Sometimes I dream to go here and there and meet the man of my dreams. But I’ve come to realize that all those dreams have become a bondage to me. 2 Corinthians 10:5 tells us to “cast down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ”.

    This has been my prayer for a few days. I don’t want any human reasoning to exhalt against the knowledge of God. I know I cannot help Him, He is wiser, and I agree with your mom. The Lord can take you anywhere, or He may bring someone from anywhere to you. He is more than powerful, and He is able to things so much better than we can think or imagine or do.

    I can tell you what to do: “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.”
    Matthew 6:33

    “Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.”
    Psalm 37:4

    Prepare to be a godly woman, serve your Savior, ask Him to show Him His endless and perfect love, seek Him, delight yourself in Him and in His Word, and let Him do His part.
    Take every thought captive to His obedience, and ask Him for peace. You can also pray for your future husband, maybe he has to grow more, maybe I have. Pray for him. Sometimes I ask the Lord to bring him soon hahaha.
    Pray without cease and praise Him for His wisdom!

    Remember the love story of Hudson Taylor? Maybe Maria thought that nobody was going to find her in China!!!! If God is calling you and opening doors for you, obey Him!! You don’t know what may happen there. But remember, “What is impossible with man is possible with God.” Luke 18:27

    “Faith does not operate in the realm of the possible. There is no glory for God in that which is humanly possible. Faith begins where man’s power ends.”
    -George Müller

    I’ll be praying for you!
    Love in Christ,
    Allie

    # June 5, 2013

  2. cfaith - the author of this post.

    Thanks for your reply, Allie! I love Hudson Taylor’s love story… Yes, I’ve learned just how important thought-life is; it’s not always an easy thing to watch!
    That Psalms 37:4 is one of the verses I plead with God on: Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.
    You know I mentioned the Bible camp that we went to; there were quite a few of young men and women, but it was like they were all afraid of each other and did not mingle much. The elders even noticed it and spoke about it before the preaching encouraging and telling the young men that if you are looking for gold, you’d look in a goldmine first – same with meeting godly young ladies.
    I pray about this a lot and it comes to me that if I leave it in God’s hands, then it is His responsibility and He is faithful, doing all things beautiful in His time.
    Although I don’t desire others to share my same “plight”, it is a bit encouraging to know that I’m not alone in it!
    Thanks so much for your prayers!
    Blessings to you,
    ~C. Faith

    # June 6, 2013

    • Allie

      Yes, the Lord is faithful!!! And He is able to write the most amazing love story ever!!!

      Sometimes we want to help Him, or we want to do “something”. But when we focus on Christ, we find true joy and fulfillment.

      So, may the Lord lead you. I want to see what He will do in your life!

      Many blessings! 🙂

      # June 13, 2013

  3. elisabeth

    I just wanted to encourage you to do what God wants you to do. There are lots of incredible young men out there… but sitting in the Midwest probably won’t do to meet them. I grew up in an area where there were seriously NO young men I would have considered. I felt God calling me to go to the mission field and joined a 2 year team to Africa. We spent those years with a missionary learning so much… I just LOVED it! God makes our lives amazing if we let Him! Then, as Debi says, I looked to my side and saw one of the guys on our team running along side of me… we were totally going in the same direction and had identical visions for the future. I started praying HARD. I didn’t know it then, but so did he. Long story short… we are now married, still involved in mission work, and absolutely ridiculously happy. So, follow God! He delights in doing miracles! If your goal in life is to get married, I’m not sure what the outcome will be. But if your goal in life is to absolutely obey and glorify God, welcome to the adventure!!

    # June 6, 2013

    • cfaith - the author of this post.

      Thanks so much, Elisabeth! I have been looking into opportunities on the mission field and it is so wonderful to know the Lord is guiding my steps. I know that we, as people in general, are very, very short-sighted in comparison to what God sees. I thought I had this patience thing down pat, but I guess I still have some work to do on it! 🙂
      No, my goal in life is not ‘to get married’. My older sister’s was, and I have witnessed the outcome; it is not desirable by any means. I told my dad that I’d rather stay single all my days than to marry someone just to be married!

      # June 11, 2013

  4. elisabeth

    Oh I really didn’t mean to imply that your goal in life is just to get married, sorry if it sounded that way 🙂 It’s just that when we give up our dreams and follow God anyway, so very often He gives us our dreams back in an infinitely more beautiful way! I hope you’re familiar with Elisabeth Elliot? Passion & Purity is a beautiful book!

    # June 12, 2013

  5. melodymichelle

    I still struggle with thoughts of loneliness, etc. However, since a year ago when I thought there were NO godly guys in my spectrum, I now know of several whom I would consider as a husband. I had been moaning about the scarcity of ‘possibilities’ and my mom encouraged me to just pray about it, do what I love doing, and leave the rest to God. (Debi’s words of wisdom helped too!) So I did. I started volunteering at the local library again and at a pregnancy center, got involved in politics (work the elections as clerk and judge), and last but not least, travel with my family as a band which is the best way to meet people! 🙂 I have learned so much from being on the road and being on stage– I have become so much more confident and bold in Christ.

    Sometimes Satan will tell me, “you aren’t doing enough.” And that’s a big part of the thought-battle that goes on and I have to cry out to God for strength!

    God bless you and your future mate!

    # July 18, 2013

  6. amelia

    Do you have any homeschool/Christian events in your area or even a few hours away where you could meet Godly young men? Last October, NGJ put on the Big Texas Shindig and there was a diverse group of families that attended. Several couples met there and got married a few months later.

    There’s another Shindig in Roach, Missouri in just a couple weeks. http://www.nogreaterjoy.org/shindig

    # September 1, 2013

  7. cfaith - the author of this post.

    Amelia, Thanks for the suggestion and link! Unfortunately, I think I missed it. But I had not heard of it before, so I will keep it it mind.
    My family goes to a Bible camp every year, and last year I met a young man there, but nothing came of it. Maybe I will see him again this year; I do not know. He is the only Christian that I know that is possibly a “possibility”, but I hardly know him.
    Other than that, our Amish neighbor’s eldest son keeps riding by and the other morning he dropped a greeting to me. But I do not really view him as a possibility as he is Amish and the majority of Amish are not Christians.

    # September 23, 2013

  8. cfaith - the author of this post.

    I guess I should also add that I took the advice given (above) and am looking to work next year in the foreign mission field with a missionary I know. The discouraging part was that even before he had my reply on whether or not I’d like to help, he warned me that the local young men sometimes try pretty hard for an “American” girl…apparently he has had quite a bit of trouble with this in the past. He advises against a girl marrying a local, but thinks it’s ok for a man to marry a native girl. He did list his reasons, and I do understand his point, but I wasn’t exactly anticipating this sort of problem. I’m a little worried now about how difficult this may end up being.

    # September 23, 2013

  9. kingsdaughter7

    My advice to you cfaith, is pray, pray PRAY!!!! In his letter to the Thessalonians, Paul tells us to pray without ceasing! Also, finding the “one” for you should not be your #1 goal. It should be serving Christ. One who’s goal is finding a mate before marriage will not be satisfied after they are married. Get so busy with doing things for the Lord that your future spouse will have to search God to find you!! I will be praying for you 🙂

    # September 25, 2013

  10. cfaith - the author of this post.

    Thank you, kingsdaughter7, for your reply; I do pray, but I know I should be praying more. 🙂
    I already mentioned above that “my goal in life is not ‘to get married’. My older sister’s was, and I have witnessed the outcome; it is not desirable by any means. I told my dad that I’d rather stay single all my days than to marry someone just to be married!”

    I am greatly looking forward to work on the mission field and hold on to the promise in Psalm 37:4.
    My family is looking to move, so there could be some major changes and we would meet new people, too. I know that God does do all things beautifully in His time. 🙂
    Thank you for your prayers, too!

    # October 12, 2013

  11. Shalom (Staff)

    Hey! Check out the Shindig!! Lots of couples have met at the last two! Here’s the link to learn more: http://nogreaterjoy.org/shindig/?utm_source=nogreaterjoy.org
    Hope to see you there!!

    # February 11, 2014