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Debi Pearl: Hi, I’m Debi Pearl. This is Mike Pearl, my sweetheart. We have a question from a grandmother. We would like to answer it for you today. It says, “As a grandmother, I feel you will understand my concern that my older grandson, who is now seven‑years‑old, is foolish and silly.”
“His parents are both sober and loving. I find it so strange that he acts so ridiculous, like a slobbering fool. For example, his sticks his tongue out and waves his fingers over it, making strange noises while sending saliva spewing then laughs as everyone tries to get away.”
“He is a kind child and very loving, although he is lazy and already overweight. My gentle hearted and very steady son, the father to my grandchild, saw my repulsion at his boy’s slobbering behavior. Just smiled and tried to reassure me by saying, ‘He’ll grow up in time.’”
“I can honestly say, out of my seven children, none ever acted with such a lack of dignity. Not at two‑years‑old and certainly not at seven. I only hope he will not influence the rest of the grandchildren coming on. What’s a grandmother to do?”
Michael Pearl: Well… [laughter]
Michael: …sometimes grandmothers can’t do much because they don’t have enough time to put in. It is something to be concerned about. I can see how embarrassing it would be for the grandmother. I think it should be embarrassing for the parents. It’s lack of parental input. In other words, if you leave a child to himself, especially if he watches videos, or video games, or spends a lot of time with other small children that are acting like a fool. He may end up acting foolish.
Being with his daddy, being with mature people, being with adults, being engaged in serious conversation, all that’s going to help him have a different image of himself.
Probably, he does that in order to get attention. In other words, it’s his way of having people love him, like him, pay attention to him, even if it’s negative response from people, it some kind of response. It makes him not feel so left out.
There’s two things I would do. Number one, I would get involved with him, doing things positively constructed so that he has another world outside the slobbering idiot world.
The second thing I would do is when he does act like that be, negative about it. In other words, look at him like, “I can’t believe you’re doing that.”
Debi Pearl: I think I would say to him, “You know, your daddy, was my little boy. Your daddy is such a fine man. Your daddy never, never did that when he was growing up.” “He was far too wise to do a thing like that. I think maybe you should not do that any more, because it makes you look so foolish and silly.” I think I would say that to the child.
Michael: If he gets, if people laugh at him or have an emotional response that recognizes his presence, he’ll keep on doing it. You should shun that kind of response. Turn your back on it. Say something about it negative. Let him know that he’s not going be loved. He’s not going to be looked at. He’s not going to be enjoyed when he’s acting like that.
As soon as he acts normal, show attention, show affection, enjoy him, do things that he can participate with. You have a negative response to his negative actions. You have a positive response to his positive actions. He’ll see that and he’ll change.