Look Who Got Married!
Many of you will remember Moses as “that guy” who quoted chapters of Scripture at our shindigs! I must admit, Mike and I thought it would never happen to this 34-year-old single guy! Several months before he met Rachel, Moses wrote the below article on his Facebook page, and he has given permission for us to share it with you! Single guys, take note! -Debi
Fellow single guys out there who may have been “waiting on God” for a wife, this is for you. But you girls can learn too. I know we’re supposed to do the seeking, but that doesn’t mean you can’t accommodate us a little!
I don’t think girls have to sit around while “waiting on God.” There are things a girl can do to help a guy find her. God isn’t stingy and making you wait. It’s not his fault you’re not married. It’s not up to God to decide on this matter—he has already decided. He wants us married! That right there will free you from an attitude of resentment toward God.
And He doesn’t decide whom you should marry, either. There goes a whole shelf of books!
“This is the thing which the LORD doth command concerning the daughters of Zelophehad, saying, Let them marry to whom they think best; only to the family of the tribe of their father shall they marry” (Numbers 36:6).
“The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord” (1 Corinthians 7:39).
That means you can pick your husband from among those who know the Lord—not an unregenerate sinner.
Probably the biggest hurdle for me has been the religious idea that I have to wait on God to give me a wife. But in the last couple of years, I have done almost a 180 on my view of God’s part and man’s part in finding a wife. Looking back, I can’t believe the religious limitations I put on myself and on God. The fact is, God’s plan is that people get married in their youth: “Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth” (Proverbs 5:18).
That fact was brought home to me the other day when I watched the documentary Unmarried. It was about why young people are waiting longer and longer to get married. The answers made me realize once again that God hasn’t been making me wait. It made me a little upset, and almost confused. Here I have been waiting on him to provide a wife, and now I learn that he’s been waiting on me to find one! Something is wrong here! My view of God must be way off. My image of God’s involvement did not fit his Word. I’ve had to literally force myself to change my view of God’s plan for me to find a wife.
God hides things—not from us but for us. “It is the glory of God to conceal a thing: but the honour of kings is to search out a matter” (Proverbs 25:2).
God hides a thing like a parent hides a present intended for a child. He expects us to search with excitement until we uncover his gift.
“House and riches are the inheritance of fathers: and a prudent wife is from the LORD” (Proverbs 19:14).
“Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies” (Proverbs 31:10).
Though she is from the Lord, it is the man who finds her.
“Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD” (Proverbs 18:22).
Findeth… not just getting one but finding one. The guy does the finding, which means he searches for her. He can’t find a wife if he’s not looking.
Conclusion: God is the one from whom she comes, yet the man finds her.
First, I seek God! If she’s from him, then he’s the one I need to seek. I need to find her by him. I need him to open my eyes to her. I need him to make my path cross her path. He cannot make our paths cross if I am not walking a path, so there is no sitting around! There is a lot of seeking involved—I seek wisdom from heaven and I seek a wife on earth.
He doesn’t do the revealing; he does the hiding. For me to find, I must do the seeking. It’s up to me to find. It is my honor to seek that which he has hidden. He wouldn’t be honoring me as a king if he revealed her to me without me seeking. He is not hiding anything from me, but for me. It’s all there already waiting for me to find. I am not waiting on him to reveal when he thinks I’m worthy or “when the time is right.” He is waiting on unworthy me to find what he has already freely provided. It’s up to me to seek and then I will find. He’s not holding out on me. In fact, he has a deep desire that I get all that he has provided. And he has already given it to me. He will not bypass my lack of seeking and reward me anyway. He’s waiting for me to seek. He is behind me: “Get out there and look! Use the brains I gave you! I love to see man function as I created him.”
“Well then! Lord, I need wisdom!”
“No problem, son. I have plenty of it, but you be the man and put feet to my wisdom.”
One of the things God says is wonderful is the way of a man with a maid.
“There be three things which are too wonderful for me, yea, four which I know not: The way of an eagle in the air; the way of a serpent upon a rock; the way of a ship in the midst of the sea; and the way of a man with a maid” (Proverbs 30:18-19).
How is he to behold the wonder of a man with a maid if he doesn’t allow the man to function in all his capacity as a man? God must allow man to function as a man to behold the wonders of a man with a maid. God will not take the man’s way and replace it with some “miracle-way” of his. Often we miss God because he works in very ordinary ways.
Man is to function as a man under the blessing and guidance of God. Man needs wisdom from God, but God will not dishonor the man and keep him from a way that is natural with a maid. Man’s way with a maid, according to natural drive and instinct in the fear of God, is, in fact, God’s way.
Hope this helps those of you out there who have thought God is making you wait and if you take any initiative, you’re going ahead of God. Seek him and seek a wife—not to make him give but for you to receive both wisdom and a wife!