My son-in-law Gabriel and my daughter Rebekah came for a two-week visit. At my request, Gabriel examined the web history on my computer to confirm that I have not visited any porno-sites since the last time he was here.
I never erase my web history. Someone else does it for me after examining it. Someone may ask, “What is wrong, don’t you trust yourself?” My answer to them is, I want my wife to trust me. I want my son-in-law to trust me. I want you to trust me, and I want to make myself accountable to someone—just as you should. I don’t trust anyone who erases his own web history on a regular basis. Just think about it. God keeps a file of all web searches. Nothing is ever erased, except your entire past sins history when you got saved. After that, in the day of the judgment seat of Christ, you will give an account for every deed done in your body (II Cor. 5:10). No amount of confession and sorrow will prevent you from having to answer for every deed since you got saved.
By the way, I passed. I have never viewed as much as one single porno image on any computer—ever! My Lord and my wife deserve no less. Having done what is required of me, I am just an unprofitable servant; I have only done that which was my duty to do (Luke 17:10), as any normal Christian does.
Dear lady, if your husband’s office was in the same building as a strip joint, just one curtained glass door separating him from the view, would you be comfortable trusting him to never pull back the curtain and look in on the smut? Would you trust your young untested sons—even when you are gone to the store, and they are there alone? That is exactly what the web is—a ready window to the most vile pornography that the devil and his demons can produce. It is pure Sodom and Gomorrah. And it is right there in your home, all the time, waiting day and night to reach though the screen and grab the lusts of a boy or man. I avoid it like Hell.
I cannot say this too forcefully. You are gullible beyond belief if you have in your home a computer with access to the web and it is not on a password, completely inaccessible to your sons. Every single boy from eight to sixteen years old—without exception—will get on the web and look at porn if he can find the opportunity. He will get up in the middle of the night. He will play sick and sneak in when you are gone to the store for medicine. He will arrive home early, stay up late, rise before you do, or go to a friend’s house and get on their computer when they are not home.
If you are the best parent and child trainer, with the best of spiritual instruction, and the finest education, and your sons view pornography on the web, you have wasted your time. You lose. They lose. God loses. The devil wins.
Christian men develop the fortitude and discipline to obey God and walk in holiness against all temptation, but few boys before the age of eighteen have that kind of discipline.
Any husband that expects his wife to “trust him” is a scoundrel. Never put you wife in the position to have to depend on blind trust. Make every moment a walk in the light. I take my wife everywhere, or else she knows where I am and who I am with every moment. Every Christian man should invite his wife or a friend to view his web history on a regular basis. Every computer should be in a public place or facing an open door (or a glass door) where the wife and kids can see what is on the screen. A man who refuses to do so is guilty of something, if only pride.
Dear Christian brother, make yourself accountable to you wife and your friends. Sweet, gullible mother, get as mad as a mother goose and protect your boys and men.
Safeguarding the Internet
I have been looking for a simple, effective solution to controlling an internet connection for some time now. I have recently come across a simple, inexpensive utility called Conntroll. It works on Windows 2000 and XP, and allows one person to control the use of the internet using a password. It completely blocks email, instant messages, web browsing, and other types of file downloads. It is primarily made for single computer environments and is extremely simple to install and use. Please see the “Certified Porn Free” link on www.nogreaterjoy.org for more information about obtaining and installing Conntroll.
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Wise words...my family and I use a great accountability tool called https://www.covenanteyes.com/. The best $7 a month you could spend!
I agree with Ryan, everyone in our church has covenant eyes on their computers,, Its very important to have that protection there!
Good article. What if Dear Hubby doesn't agree with the accountability factor here? As I have read many of your articles I see that wives ought not press the issue of anything or else it would be tearing down their house. The broken trust crushes many women. How can they trust again if he doesn't want to be accountable? Please give me some good, thorough advice. Also, I'd love to see this issue addressed more deeply in your newsletter. There are many women out there who don't know what to do about this specific issue. They could use some guidance.
I to am wondering what if on the porn issue. At this time we do not have a computer, but when we did my husband put a password on it for his profile. He will not give me any passwords of his, saying he needs privacy for himself. He is former military and he feels he needs his privacy after having everything looked at. I would love to get a computer for to do my schooling on at some point, at that time it will have internet access. I understand installing a control on my computer. But my question is on the porn magazines and dvds out there. I did not find out my husband was addicted to after we was married, I have tried talking to him and it does not work. I am torn up over this issue, it is also ripping us apart. I am so crushed over this issue and it is causing the divide between us to grow. Even a so-called female friend has tried to say it is ok, her comment to me all men look at porn. I do not want to push him into her decieving arms. I do not know what to say about it anymore.
I am scared of losing him, I have the Created to be a Help meet book, I am reading it now, on my free time at work. Please help me!
I would like to ask you for help on this matter of porn. Been married for 29 years. Have been a christian for 28 (active) in other words, living a life to please my husband and maker. I am desperate for answers. I have asked the Lord for wisdom. I believe he is guiding me to ask you for advice. Please , a wife in love
@Luz - We recommend that you obtain a copy of Mike's booklet "Pornography - Road To Hell" available at our web store for $1.50.