A modern Psalm taken from “The New International Unchristian Perversion.” “The TV is my shepherd, I shall not want anything else. It maketh me to lie down on the sofa. It leadeth me away from the Scripture. It destroys my soul. It leadeth me in the paths of sex and violence for the sponsors sake, Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will enjoy the evil, for blood and sex they excite me. It’s cable and remote they comfort me. It prepares a commercial before me in the presence of my children. It anoints my head with humanism, My coveting runneth over. Surely laziness and ignorance shall follow my family all the days of our lives, and we shall dwell in the house watching TV forever.”
But don’t worry parents, as you know the TV doesn’t have any influence on the children of parents who don’t want it to influence them. That’s why the sponsors only advertise products you have already decided to buy.