I have been a Christian for 17 years. I have loved getting to know God, learning about his love for me and others, reading the Bible, and knowing what God has for women and wives. I love encouraging you all daily.
I will admit it has been hard sometimes understanding why HE (God) has authority set in place. I was raised a rebel. It didn’t seem fair that WE had to do what our husbands asked but they didn’t have to do what we wanted. And in our culture today, it’s shoved down our throats to speak our mind and do what we feel is right. I mean, he should listen to me too, right? Marriage should be 50/50, right?
I’m going to get super personal.
I have an amazing marriage but we are not perfect. Shocker.
In an argument with my husband, I once said to him: “If I asked this of you, you would not do it, so why do I have to listen to you? I think this is nonsense, and I know God tells me this is the way it is, but it’s not fair!”
*Gasp* My dear, wise husband just looked at me and said in a calm voice, “That is between you and God. Sounds like you just called his Word nonsense.”
I froze. Did I seriously just question God’s Word? I was devastated. I went to the bathroom and cried out to God in apology, and Ephesians 5:22 popped into my head.
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
Would I dare question God to his face? If he asked anything of me, would I obey?
Of course I would. So what was I doing being prideful about submitting myself to my husband? God never once said “if it’s fair” or “if you feel like it” or “if your husband would do it himself.” He said “submit yourselves” as unto the Lord. Ouch. I will humble myself and admit this was a recent event.
So with a deep breath and a repentant heart, I walked out and apologized to my husband. I realized that my emotions had rule over my mind, and my husband mostly rules with logic. He is the head that God knew I needed.
(Of course, I am not in any way speaking of abuse—just normal, everyday life here.)
Pride and selfishness will ruin you.
I had a root hidden away, planted by feminism and growing up watching my mama be abused and “told what to do.” It was not in a biblical sense for her own protection or good, but in a controlling atmosphere permeated by fear. There is a CLEAR difference.
Nonetheless, it was there, a thorn in my side that I didn’t realize was so deep. My husband is a Steady/Command man who rarely “speaks up,” so when he does I know it’s important. But this time, my true heart showed. How awful.
I didn’t want to do what he asked. I wanted my own way. I could see that I only submitted when it suited me.
No more! I learned a good lesson, ladies. I had a hard look at my own heart. Yes, I have past trauma. Yes, I have a deep need to control and protect my circumstances to feel safe. Anyone who has suffered abuse knows this.
But, I CHOOSE TO TRUST GOD.
I will never again question his Word. No matter my past or my circumstances, I will submit myself to my husband as unto the Lord God himself standing before me face to face. It’s God who will judge my husband and his motives. I will serve the Lord.
Ladies, do you submit only when it’s easy? To look good and feel like you’re doing your part? Are there things he’s asked (again, within biblical boundaries) that you ignore? If you’re having arguments, is it because you’re balking at his authority?
Let’s do a heart check. Let’s read Scripture and pray. Ask God to help you when it’s hard. And lastly, trust God; truly obey your husband as if God himself made the request—because He has.
I recently had a disagreement with my daughter. She felt she was right, I demanded that I was right, and she walked away with hurt feelings. My husband told me to go get her and restore fellowship. I didn’t like being told what to do, not the tiniest bit. Ugh, pride is an ugly thing . . . But fellowship restored is sweet, and my husband knew it was what both my daughter and I needed.
I hope my lesson will somehow help you look at your own self and ask the question, “Do I really obey Gods Word or just when it’s convenient?” It’s the little things that make the biggest difference in marriages.
Don’t stifle your man. Let him lead.