DIY Parental Guide

Being a parent is basically the best job in the whole world. I love everything about it!
That is, everything but the dirty diapers, dirty dishes, dirty clothes…Okay—I guess there's a lot of things I don't love about it. But I love being Dad! My youngest son is now 17, and I genuinely miss the years when I had young children. There were all those activities that seemed too mundane in the moment, but I dearly miss when I look back on them now. For instance, I miss all of the questions. Questions like, “Daddy, why are trees tall and grass short?” “Where does water go when it runs out at the bottom of the creek?” “Why is fire hot?” “Are you the toughest guy in the world?” (To which I would naturally answer—“Yes!!”)
But the most important question of my children's youth was one they never asked: “Are you doing a good job as a parent?” You see, I'm not satisfied being a good dad; I want to be the greatest dad that my kids could ever have. I want to be a better dad tomorrow than I have ever been in my life, and the day after that, I want to improve yet again. I strive for perfection—not because I believe I will attain it—but because I believe my children deserve it. They are my heritage from the Lord and I am the steward of their upbringing. I don't want to do a good job; I want to do a great job! I know many of you feel the same way, and I believe that you are some of the best parents on the planet. There are not many people who would subscribe to a magazine and read books on how to be better parents. Even if you don't agree with what I write, you are still considering how to be better at the most important job anyone could ever have. I love y’all for that! Not because you want to pursue some enlightened state, but because you believe your kids are worth your effort. Jesus said “Suffer the little children to come unto me for of such is the Kingdom of God.” Friends, Jesus loves the little children…and so do we!
The question is, how do we improve on the job that we're doing as parents? If we make a seismic mistake in child-training, we likely won't know about it until years down the road. So, what can we do today to challenge ourselves to be better moms and dads than we were yesterday?

In one of our recent podcast episodes, my dad came up with the idea to develop a list of 10 questions for parents to take to their close peers or family members and ask: “How am I doing on these 10 points?”
Now, I know it might seem scary—and that’s an understatement. I am asking you to invite those you love most to criticize what you might consider the greatest
accomplishment of your life. But being the best will require introspection and growth.
Proverbs 15:22 Without counsel purposes are disappointed: but in the multitude of counsellors they are established.

Below, we have put together a list of 10 questions that you can use as a basic outline to ask your close friends and family members. If you think of more questions that you would add or substitute, feel free to create your own list!

10 Questions to Help Parents Improve Child-training:

Question 1. How does my attitude/tone affect my children’s behavior?

Question 2. Are there any areas in my home that I can change structurally in order to bless my family? (i.e. focus less on having a spotless house and more on connecting with my kids, rules, playtime, etc…)

Question 3. Am I being too strict or too lenient in some areas, and what can I do to achieve balance?

Question 4. How can I make evenings at home more enjoyable and family focused?

Question 5. Can you give me three examples of when I have lacked consistency with my children?

Question 6. How do you believe my screen-time has affected my family and what are some specific examples?

Question 7. Have you ever noticed me unintentionally crush the spirit of my children and what are three examples?

Question 8. What is something in our marriage that you have noticed is negatively affecting our children? (i.e. our conversation, personal interactions, arguing/disagreements, lack of affection, etc.)

Question 9. Have you noticed me neglecting the spiritual growth of my children and what are three ways I can change that?

Question 10. In general, is there anything that you’ve noticed I do or don’t do that I could change for the benefit of my children?
(this last question is meant to be a way to open up the floor for your chosen advisors to share with you some things they have seen that you and your spouse haven’t yet noticed about your children or training techniques)

We know that the idea of asking someone these questions will require so much vulnerability and trust on both sides…but we believe that if you are willing and eager to become the best parent you can possibly be, God will give you the tools you need to succeed.