Life is Complicated

It’s easy to get advice from pretty much anywhere you want to look. But getting good advice? That’s a different story altogether.

Our world is full of loud “experts” wanting to offer their wisdom.
Social media influencers, therapists, Christian counselors, and pastors all have something to share, and it can be distracting trying to sift through what is noise and what is a harmonious chord that rings true with the Word of God.
Even if you approached the most benign of advice-givers, like a group of moms from church, and asked them the best way to deal with a problematic toddler, you would likely receive 10 different answers. The question we must ask ourselves as advice seekers is this: How do we know what the right thing to do is in any given situation? If everyone who lived through it already has a different answer, then it would seem that there is no answer, right or wrong, to the simple question: “What do I do if my toddler is problematic?”

Maybe the best answer is simply… “Life is complicated.”
However, that summation does nothing to help the “problematic toddler.” So, how do we wade through the advice—good and bad—to make wise decisions when it comes to raising godly families?
The first thing we should consider is the source; you're not likely to gain godly wisdom from a source that blatantly denies the wisdom of God. One of the devil's favorite tricks is to get you to question God's words and motives the same way that he got Eve to question God's words and motives. If you go to a psychiatrist or a family counselor who believes that she evolved from a lizard, you will eventually get the exact same counsel that Eve got from the garden lizard of her day: “…hath God said?” That is not to say that everyone who espouses the name of God gives good or even consistent advice…but at least you can start on the same page. This already narrows down most of your options. Keep in mind that the problem with this world's advice is not the immediate, “Do this in order to get that.” After all, Satan told Eve that if she would eat the fruit, she would gain the knowledge of good and evil. It worked as advertised. Often, the impetus for following worldly advice is that it sorta works…until you reach the fine print. You may be in an unhappy marriage and find a worldly counselor to tell you that if you leave your husband, you will be happier and more fulfilled. But there are innumerable, unforeseen consequences that you will reap in your life by ignoring the Word of God. The Bible says in Matthew 19:6: …What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. Again, just because someone names the name of God does not mean their advice is good. No matter how godly or wise they seem to be, if the advice you are receiving ignores or countermands the Word of God, it is—by its very nature—ungodly. Following advice from such a source means you are living an ungodly life, which leads to very real-world consequences.
Here is an example: Years ago, I had a pastor call me for advice. He said that a young couple in his church was getting counseling from a prominent Christian couple that was very bombastic about their relationship with God and each other. The young couple seeking advice were told by the wife that they should watch "mild" pornographic films together in order to spice up their love life. The pastor who called me asked if he should interfere and countermand the prominent couple. He was hesitant, especially since their advice seemed to be working for the young couple they were counseling. I was flabbergasted! I asked him if God had somehow suspended the commandments in His Word without me hearing about it because otherwise, this was completely wrong. Of course you should interfere and stomp out the discourse of Satan before it takes root! About a year later the prominent Christian couple giving the council ended up divorcing because of the husband’s rampant pornography use. Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. Galatians 6:7
Now, this was an unusually clear cut situation. Most are not. If the wisdom of this world did not at least mimic godly wisdom to a degree, then it would be easy to separate and ignore the poison. Knowing this, Satan has determined not to openly contradict the wisdom of God.
At least, not at first. Rather than offer you a vial that is plainly labeled “poison”, he offers poisonous fruit that is pleasant to the senses.
When it comes to child training, Satan’s advice is that you should be kind. If the advice stopped there, it would be excellent, although somewhat basic. Of course you should be kind!
The problem is that the advice doesn't stop there. He goes on to define kindness as not denying your children the pleasures of this world. Where the Bible says: Foolishness is bound in a heart of the child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him, Satan says, kindness is letting children follow their hearts; you should allow them to choose their own path and not force them into going to church with you if they don’t want to. This worldview would have your children sipping from the poisoned chalice of social media and avoiding the uncomfortable remedy they would otherwise hear in a Bible believing church. Proverbs 14:12 says: There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death. Your children do not have the wisdom, knowledge, or foresight to even begin to understand the ramifications of following their hearts. Likewise, neither do I and neither do you. That is why our blessed Savior gave us the holy Word of God: Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path. Psalm 119:105
Raising good kids or having a good marriage is a relatively simple proposition. Put good in, get good out; put garbage in, get garbage out. Or, as my good friend likes to say, “Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.”
So, if the answer to the problematic toddler is as simple as “put good in”, why is life so complicated? The problem lies not in the algorithm, but in the components. All of the advice is to answer the question: “What is the good that needs to be applied in this situation?” How do we find the good? Although the answer seems simple, the truth is profound. God is good! But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. Matthew 6:33
The point of this entire complicated existence on earth is that we learn to seek God in every aspect of our lives. Don't wait until your toddler becomes problematic to go before the throne and lift up his little heart in prayer. Don't wait until you need advice to try to see what God has to say. Get to KNOW God and be sure that he knows you. Search the scriptures daily and walk in the light, and when you go for advice to a trusted friend, the advice of this world will ring false against the light of the Word of God.
Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. Proverbs 3:5-6
When you seek counsel, approach with the heart of a skeptic, not ready to commit to anything that doesn’t come from God. Trusting the Lord doesn't mean that you have a warm feeling when you think about God. What is does mean is opening his Word and allowing it to change your life. You won’t find comfort or fulfillment from a pithy statement you found on Instagram. Don't trust a counselor or preacher or a lofty Christian life teacher. Trust Jesus! Waiting to seek the Lord in his Word until you have a problem is like waiting to change your oil until your engine blows up. Seek him early, seek him today. And when you seek him, you will find him. When you find him, believe his words. They are settled in heaven, they are what the world is made from.
His words are what he will use to conquer the Prince of Darkness and the kingdoms of this world whose eternal refrain has been: “Hath God said…”

For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting. And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not. Galatians 6:8-9