Michael and Debi,
I just finished your book Created to Be His Help Meet. I am thankful (my husband too) that 1½ years into our marriage I could read it and be so blessed. I have been so ignorant as to what reverence and submission truly are. I look back and see rebellion, dishonor, irreverence, and control on my part in every little tiff. I didn’t feel right about how I was acting, but felt confused and frustrated at exactly what I was doing wrong. The Word of God through your book came alive and rescued me. I want a heavenly marriage, not just a so-so one. I am amazed that as I invest in my husband’s interest and make his life my life, there is so much peace.
I am married to a Mr. Steady. He is sweet, loving, patient, and good to me. Is there such a thing as Mrs. Command Lady? If so, that’s me. But this command lady is learning that everything about our marriage is better when Mr. Steady is in control. I cringe to think about what kind of man my husband would be in 20 years if I continued to exercise my control and “spiritual superiority” over him. How silly! How sad it must be for God to see wives who long to be obedient to God running over their husbands and thinking that is true obedience. I have several married friends who have more commanding, aggressive husbands. They do devotions together. They sing together, and their husbands make things happen and are well known in our church as solid, godly men. My husband is what you described as the deep water. He loves the Lord, seeks him daily, and enjoys spiritual conversations and Bible studies. But he is just not out there in the middle of the stage, and in the past I have felt like that made him less of a godly man than the others. Shame on me! I will quit comparing him with other men and just honor him where he is and for who he is! Again, I am so thankful that I am not reading this book 20 years from now!
Getting up at six to make his breakfast and pack his lunch, sitting in his beloved tree stand, and keeping quiet as he spends that $30 that seems so unnecessary to me all come alive with purpose as my attitude has changed toward being a help meet. I even made cornbread, baked beans, and Rice Krispies treats (all of which I don’t care for) because I truly want to please him and want him to know that he is the #1 most important person to me. He was delighted…and so was I.
I am looking forward to the rest of our lives together, Lord willing, and to having children and raising them in a peaceful home where Daddy and Mommy are so in love. And to being 80 and still in love!
My little note on an index card had to move over to notebook paper as my heart kept pouring out the beautiful changes in our marriage. Our marriage was good, but oh, it’s getting better! My heart is overflowing!