Playgrounds & Playmates

As much as we refuse to admit it, the company that we keep profoundly influences every aspect of our lives.

So much so that the career that you choose for yourself, the way that you treat your wife and children, even your relationship with God, will most often look very similar to those that you surround yourself with.

I do not like that premise. I prefer to see myself as captain of my own ship; a leader not a follower. That actually hurts my feelings to think that other people have so much influence on how I think and behave.

But facts do not care about my feelings.

1 Corinthians 15:33 Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners.
Anytime that you see the admonishment ‘be not deceived’, and then confidently scoff ‘that won’t happen to me’, you are either already deceived, or a prime candidate to later be.
Thinking that our outlook on life, our mindset, even the posture of our heart, exists as an island unsullied by the hand of another is a fantasy; it is a direct result of who you choose to surround yourself with.

There’s a cliche in recovery groups that says if you want to stay sober, then you have to change your playgrounds and playmates. It’s a cliche, but it is true. You may not be in recovery from alcohol and drugs, but the principle still applies.
If you are a negative person, always complaining about your station in life, then you likely have friends that do the same; always talking about how other people, entities, and institutions are responsible for your current state and preventing you from doing otherwise.

Likewise, if you are dissatisfied with your marriage and family, you will find yourself surrounded by other people experiencing the same problem. And you will begin to share your discontent and misery.
If you want your life to change, it’s not just important to change who you surround yourself with, it’s absolutely essential. Seek out people that are living the life that you want for yourself. Ask questions, find solutions, and then implement them.

In other words, do what they do.

Researching the problem by reading books and watching lectures on YouTube is helpful, but that is not a total solution - life has to actually be lived.
I say that because as Christians, we can spend so much time talking about a godly life, marriage and family, that we forget we actually put effort into making those things happen. And if those efforts are modeled after people that are living in identical situations, then you will get the same results.
That is one reason the Apostle Paul writes ‘Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.’ Hebrews 10:25. Not to make sure the church pew is filled, but so that we do not wither and die off on our own. We lean on and encourage each other, learn from each other, and when necessary, correct each other.
Your situation will not improve overnight, but it will never change if you do not move at all, and move in the right direction.

And watch who you are walking with.