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Pornography—Road to Hell

June 15, 2000

WARNING This article contains information targeting married couples and mature teenagers. You should read it first and then decide if you want your children to read it. Be prepared to answer their questions.

Dear Debi,
My husband and I have been married for 14 years. During those years my husband has back-sliden several times. During those times he was involved in pornography. For the last nine months he has been praying and reading the Word, fellowshipping, leading devotionals with the family, and serving where he was needed at church. We were growing closer together everyday as a couple and as a family.
However, two weeks ago, my husband started watching the sports. He had to go to the house of his employer to watch it because we had thrown out our TV. He knew it was dangerous for him to be around it, but his boss gave him an old one so he could watch sports. I argued with him saying that we agreed not to have a TV. I did not feel safe with it in the house, especially since he put the TV out in his shop where no one else is allowed without his permission. I also told him that I could not join myself to him because I didn't know if he was joining himself to the pornography. He says he is not watching pornography, but he spends all his time out there in his shop, and sometimes even sleeps there by himself at night.
My question is, am I wrong? Am I as a wife out of line? Is pornography adultery, as I believe it is? My husband says it is not. He says it is nothing personal. It has nothing to do with me. I could go on and go about the pain it causes me, but I will not. Any type of counseling is out for him because he says I am the one with the problem.
If you could, please help me. I know you are busy and would understand if you can't. It just helps to know someone else is there with me. I know, one way or another, the Lord will direct me. He alone is faithful and true.

The grieved wife,
This publication is dedicated to child training and family. It would seem that a dissertation on pornography should be confined to a different format. But we receive many letters from wives concerned about their husband’s pornographic indulgence. The letters we receive are from homeschooling, no birth control, go to church, ‘put on a good front’ families. Wives want to know how they can train up their children to follow the Lord when their husbands are secretly following porn queens. At one large meeting of several thousand "Christian" men, over 50% of those present confessed to having "used pornography" in the previous seven days. Most ministers avoid ever mentioning this shameful subject. Of those that do, the majority treat it as a "weakness" that Christians should "overcome with counseling." I disagree. We too have avoided addressing the subject because of its sensitiveness. Some of you who live in isolation (thank God that you do) may be offended at my frankness. But you must understand that the life of many families and the souls of their children are at stake.
I would want my children to read this article. The degree to which they understand the words would be a general guide as to how much they are ready to consider. I would then discuss it with them, according to their maturity. But you may not. It’s your choice. Just be apprised of the fact that most kids are exposed to some form of pornography by the time they are ten years old.
Now I am speaking to you, fathers. If you isolate yourself in a room and indulge in pornography, you are not sick; you are evil. You are having intercourse with a computer, or with the pages of a publication. In effect you are having an erotic experience with the editor—probably another man. While you are fanaticizing with that commercially produced image, know that there are thousands of others engaged in eroticism with the same image, at the same time as you. You are part of a disgusting group of perverts, all piled onto the same image together. And somewhere there is a sexually dysfunctional editor enjoying the extent of his erotic powers.
You are not oversexed. You are not even sexed. You are alone. At best you are copulating with yourself. Don’t tell me that you are getting yourself primed for a conclusion with your wife. It is the priming that draws you back again and again, not the conclusion. You are a pervert. A real man is bigger than his member. He is big enough to say no to his passions. A man whose passions are stimulated to the point of being all consuming is not a man of greater prowess. He is a man whose soul has shrunk until his little member is the strongest thing left. God created us with sexual drive, but he also gave us a steering wheel and a brake to direct and control our drives. If you can’t control yours, it is not a statement of the strength of your drive, but of the weakness of your soul. You are wasting away to the level of an alley cat. Adam fell, but you are falling even further. You are plunging your soul into eternal destruction, moving as far away from God as you can get. You are lost and helpless by choice. You do not deserve sympathy or understanding; you deserve condemnation and scorn. You are not a victim; you are a perpetrator. You justify your addiction by pointing to the many who have fallen as you have, but you are condemned by the many who have not fallen, and by the many who were once where you are but have since repented and been restored to normalcy.
While you justify yourself, your own conscience condemns you. You sneak around like a thief as you lie and deceive. Your whole life is dedicated to the dragon. Your body is being consumed as your soul is being digested. You are having communion with the devil – bowing in worship of the flesh. You are a disciple of evil. You have chosen to be part of a group that defiles their own flesh, – "that worships and serves the creature more than the Creator, whose god is their belly, whose glory is their shame." (Romans 1:25; Philippians 3:19).
Very few ever return from the pit into which you are sinking. You have taken the downhill slide into Hell, and there is absolutely nothing to stop you except your willingness to apply the brakes. The problem is that you are more addicted today than you were one year ago, and you will continue to fade into the shadows of debauchery until you are one with the evil on which you feed. You are on the road of no return and every day you are less likely to reverse your course.
The lust you have created is never satisfied. It is an itch with no scratch, only more itch. Pornographic satisfaction is like the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow – always just out of reach. The lust of pornography draws a man ever deeper into the dark tunnel of promise until he discovers he has missed life and love. Pornography destroys your ability to "make love," and replaces it with the cunning wit to use and abuse. There comes a point when any attempt at a normal relationship is nothing more than assisted masturbation. Your world grows ever smaller until you are alone with your semen. You stink of self. You do not deserve a woman.
You have nothing to be proud of. You are not a bull. You are a dog. There are millions just like you. Most are not as hypocritical as you are. Some of them hang around bars, nightspots, and porno shops; but take note, you feed on the same diet. Your soul is a receptacle of the same putrefaction. You may yet join them, sharing not only the same books and videos, but also the same dirty motel rooms with their indigenous occupants.

"Stolen waters are sweet, and bread eaten in secret is pleasant. But he knoweth not that the dead are there; and that her guests are in the depths of hell." (Proverbs 9:17-18).

So your wife is frigid? Don’t tell me that pornography is a substitute for a good woman. I was not homeschooled and protected. I am fifty-four years old. I preach in state prisons every week and have done so since I was eighteen. I have ministered in coffeehouses and rescue missions and on the street since I was sixteen. You might convince yourself that you are forced to your actions by an unresponsive wife, but I don’t buy it. I have known of porno-freaks that got married to good women, but found that they liked to be alone better than sharing. We have talked to women who are willing and ready, but their husbands prefer their own company. Pornography and a wife are not alternate ways to fulfill the same drive. The drive for a wife is a natural drive, whereas the drive for pornography is a cultivated, perverted passion that has nothing to do with love and marriage. If a pornographer were to marry a porno queen, he would quickly become dissatisfied with her and crawl back in his little hole, alone with his imaginations and the images created by an industry that makes its money not by satisfying its customers, but by keeping them dissatisfied and hungry for the artificial. Your secret world is revolting to real men who know how to love one woman and dedicate the rest of their energies to creative living.
But the most destructive thing about your sin is the effect in has on your children. We live in a spirit world of both righteous and fallen angels. We are surrounded by evil spirits seeking the moral destruction of every human soul. The children of godly parents are protected from unclean spirits by being under their moral umbrella. But when a father gives his mind over to wicked lusts, he removes the hedge of protection around his family and invites impure devils into his home. Wishing them away will avail nothing. Any prayers you pray for their safety are negated the moment you open the pages of a pornographic book or glare at an electronic image. When you tune in to electronic pornography you have established a two-way link with the spiritual underworld. When you lie in bed at night and conjure up wicked images, the devils won’t stop with your mind; they will gleefully rush into the bedrooms of your children and assault their little souls and bodies. Evil thoughts will come to their minds – thoughts you have been thinking that are telegraphed to them by the devils. Your defenseless children will be taken captive, and you are the one that threw the gate open to the enemy.
If sodomy is sin, pornography is its "significant other." If the Bible be true when it says that those who commit fornication (Greek porniah, the root of our English word pornography) "shall not inherit the kingdom of God" (Galatians 5:19-21), then the future of any and all pornography users is the suffering of eternal damnation. And in Ephesians 5:6, again speaking of fornication (porniah/pornography), he says, "Let no man deceive you with vain words: for because of these things cometh the wrath of God upon the children of disobedience." If you think you can indulge in pornography and still be a Christian, you are blindly hoping against the clear statements of Scripture. Disciples of Christ read their Bibles, not the dirty books of Sodomites and lesbians. Every time you retreat into your world of lust, you shut the door in God’s face. You are dangling your soul and the souls of your children over the fires of eternal damnation.
I have not been as hard on you as God will be in the day of judgment. You have only one hope, and that is to repent toward God. I did not tell you to repent of your sin of pornography, because as an unregenerate man you will not find the power to forsake your first love. You must repent toward God. This you can do while still in the slavery of your sin. To repent toward God is to prefer God and his righteousness above everything else. It is to desire his holiness in your life – to hate the sin that binds you. Make no mistake. The man that repents toward God is a desperate man, a man that longs for the holiness God will bring into his life. The man that repents toward God will experience restless nights and skipped meals in his search for God. A man that repents toward God will find no pleasure or peace in anything until he can rest in God alone. It will not do for you to walk down an aisle and pray a sinner’s prayer. It will not be sufficient for you to ask for prayer, or to confess your sins, or go to counseling. You must go directly to God through the Lord Jesus Christ with no hope and no confidence but the mercy and grace of God.
It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God, but it is a blessed thing to stay there until you are forgiven, and cleansed, and then empowered to walk in holiness. The dragon can be killed by Christ alone. Whom Christ makes free he shall be free indeed. I have seen God save and deliver lesbians, Sodomites, and porno freaks as easily as he saves children. Christ is sufficient.
I have done you a service by increasing your guilt, by bringing the law down on you like it will in the day of judgment. Your conscience will not be satisfied by anything less than your exposure and punishment. The good news is that Jesus Christ took upon himself the shame of your sin. God laid on him your iniquity. God made Jesus to be sin in your place. He was treated as if he was the pornographer, the guilty sinner. He died the death you should die. Your sin has been paid for in the sufferings of Christ. If you repent toward God, God will forget your sin as if it had never happened. He will put away your sin and remember it no more. He will remove the guilt and free you from sin’s power.
It will take years for the temptations to go away. The devils will return every day and night to offer you the opportunity to rehearse the sin you have laid down, but God will deliver you from yielding to the pull of temptation. The gospel of Jesus Christ is the power of God unto salvation to every one that believeth. He is able to save to the uttermost those that come unto God by him.
The next move is yours. Are you so far gone that before the week is out you will return to that dirty place, or will you repent toward God and see your perversion come to an end? I wrote this for one reason – to see some children saved when daddy repents toward God. It’s your move. Your children, your wife, and your God are waiting.
To the Wives of Porno-Freaks
I recognize that some wives whose husband’s are porno-addicts will read the above article and feel extremely frustrated, helpless, and perhaps angry. You may be well aware of your duties as a wife, but you are so disgusted with your husband for his despicable behavior that you find it extremely difficult to honor him. How do you reverence someone who is risking the souls of your children? How do you joyfully participate in your nuptial duties when you know that you are simply a receptacle for the eroticism stirred up by his vice? I have to admit that it stretches the limits of my faith to tell you that your duty remains the same. You must honor the office, even when it is commandeered by a wicked man.
Understand that you are part of a chain of command. God is at the top, then Jesus, after that the husband, then the wife, and finally the children. Children are not given the option of deciding if their parents are worthy of their honor. When a child obeys his parents, he is obeying God. Likewise, when a wife obeys and honors her husband, she is obeying and honoring God. If your husband misuses his office, God is the one responsible to discipline him. You can honor God by honoring the scoundrel God has permitted to be your head.
The Bible is clear: If you are married to an unbeliever, you are not to leave him and you are not to turn down his intimate advances. If circumstances are so intolerable, say in the case of violence toward you or the children, or sexual abuse toward your children, if you must leave your husband, you are commanded to remain unmarried as long as he lives, or be reconciled to him.

1 Corinthians 7:3-5, 10-14
3 Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.
4 The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.
[You cannot say no to his advances, except in the case of attempted Sodomy or some other deviant and degrading perversion.]
5 Defraud ye not one the other, [don’t hold out on him] except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.
10 And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband:
11 But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.
12 But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away.
13 And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.
14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. [The presence of one saved parent is sufficient to set the children apart unto salvation.]

If your situation is intolerable, commit it to God. I am talking a miracle. Appoint a time to get alone with God and formally turn the situation over to him. Take your hands off of it and allow God full latitude to take charge. You must be willing to endure humiliation and to remain patient indefinitely. You must be willing for God to terminate your husband’s job and destroy him financially. You must be willing for him to go to jail. You must be willing to see him – the whole family – suffer humiliation. You must be willing to see your husband come down with a terrible disease. Finally, you must be willing for God to kill your husband if he will not repent. I am not suggesting that God will do any of the above, but when you place it in his hands, you must trust his decisions. God loves to be trusted. He will come to your aid if you will take your hands off of the situation. You can wrestle with it for years and never get any relief, but once you learn your lessons in faith and trust, God can work the miracle of deliverance.
If your husband is sexually abusing the children, or if he is bone-breaking violent, take it to the church. If he does not immediately repent and come under discipline, call the law and have him arrested. Whining promises followed by promises and broken promises and more promises is not acceptable. After being confronted for sexually abusing the children, if your husband does not repent in sackcloth and ashes, to never do it again, turn him over to the authorities. Testify against him, and when he gets three to twenty years in the pen, go to visit him and faithfully wait for him to get out.
God can and will work to defend you and the children if you will truly commit it all to him and perform your duties cheerfully. It is fine for you to confront your husband concerning his pornography and let him know that you are praying for his salvation. It would be proper for you to burn any books that you find lying around the house where a child could possibly access them. If the older children are aware of your husband’s pornographic indulgence, make them aware of two things. First, that your heart goes out to your husband, that you love and honor him, and that you are kindly concerned for the salvation of his soul. Second, that you are grieved that he is going to hell for the lack of Christ in his life. Let them know that you pray for his salvation and are ashamed of his sin. Make it clear that his actions are of Satan and will bring damnation. Do this without bitterness or anger.
The great pitfall for a woman is becoming self-righteous and using this situation to dominate the relationship spiritually. Wives are inclined to dominate their husbands in the best of circumstances. Many women love to claim the higher moral ground. They have always been rebels at heart and resent any authority over them. That their husband is unworthy to be a leader is absolutely satisfying to these women. They will resort to nagging and parcel out their intimate favors as a way of controlling his behavior. Sure, they will represent themselves as promoting the interests of God and righteousness, but it is the seat of control that they covet.
Cantankerous wives can provoke their husbands to all kinds of anger and bitterness. Wives that do not enjoy the intimate relationship will leave their husbands open to temptation. But let me be clear, a lousy wife – a lousy sex partner – is not responsible for a husband turning to pornography. You do not have to carry that guilt. Just make sure you are not guilty of pride and bitterness. That combination can damn the children just as surely as pornography. When you have a pornographic husband and a dominant wife, you have a vicious, endless cycle. It will certainly end in divorce. And even worse, the children will magnify the fruit of bitterness. Children will be hurt by a pornographic father, but they will become bitter by a nagging, domineering, condemning mother. Someone must repent and do his or her duty regardless of the spouse.
Finally, there is hope. Put it in God’s hands and wait patiently. Others have seen the victory. You can too. And when you have responded to your wicked husband in kindness and love, when you have made yourself available, when you have honored the dishonorable, and your husband repents to God and gets saved and delivered, and you end up with a wonderful marriage and children faithful to God, you will be my hero.

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45 comments on “Pornography—Road to Hell”

  1. You make this article sound as if the "viewer" is not saved. My husband confessed to me that he has a "few" times viewed pornography, and the last time made him so sick that he could not sleep. He was not caught, he confessed.
    I am torn with knowing if a "saved" man can view such filth, and when does it cross the line of not being saved. Some help would be appreciated. Thanks

  2. You make this article sound as if the "viewer" is not saved. My husband confessed to me that he has a "few" times viewed pornography, and the last time made him so sick that he could not sleep. He was not caught, he confessed.
    I am torn with knowing if a "saved" man can view such filth, and when does it cross the line of not being saved. Some help would be appreciated. Thanks

  3. If we repent and confess our sins, God will forgive us. Your husband was sickened by it because of the Holy Spirit in him was sickened. Just love and honor your husband. Get rid of tv in your house and the internet too if necessary.

  4. If we repent and confess our sins, God will forgive us. Your husband was sickened by it because of the Holy Spirit in him was sickened. Just love and honor your husband. Get rid of tv in your house and the internet too if necessary.

  5. My husband keeps his things in his car. I am not allowed near it. You talked about burning his porn, do I have the right to go to his car and get rid of it. He doesn't just have porn either, he is unfaithful with other women.

  6. My husband keeps his things in his car. I am not allowed near it. You talked about burning his porn, do I have the right to go to his car and get rid of it. He doesn't just have porn either, he is unfaithful with other women.

  7. My husband struggles with pornography addiction, but I believe that he is saved. He never wanted pornography in his life, but he did not overcome his problem because he did not get accountability. Porn is so easy to access in today's Internet age. purelifeministries.org gives a lot of biblical advice for men and women affected by sexual sin.

  8. My husband struggles with pornography addiction, but I believe that he is saved. He never wanted pornography in his life, but he did not overcome his problem because he did not get accountability. Porn is so easy to access in today's Internet age. purelifeministries.org gives a lot of biblical advice for men and women affected by sexual sin.

  9. Two years ago I found my husband viewing pornography (we had been married 6 years at that time). I found out that day that he had an addiction that had gone on since he was very young, as he grew up in a non-christian home and had found his father's pornography as a boy. Before that day, I had never realized that masterbation and pornography went together for men, so I was very shocked. He repented and turned from his sin immediately. He has tried to show me this in every way. However, I have continued to struggle with issues of trust and body image to the point that I wish very often that I would die. I just want to trust him again and I want to feel pretty again, but I struggle so much. The past two years have been the worst of our marriage. I used to wonder why he didn't have a stronger sex drive as I did. I thought that this might change once I found out the "problem". But, this hasn't changed much. Which makes the issues of trust and body image even harder to deal with. I second guess everything he says and does. I have trouble being out of the room when he uses the computer at home (we don't have a t.v.) although I know that he has a private office at work and a laptop computer that he can take anywhere. Although he said that it was never an issue at work before and still isn't. My husband was saved before we were married. He is a wonderful spiritual leader and even a seminary student. I love him and I know that my lack of trust and negative body image are affecting our marriage for the worse. I have begged God to help me. I know that I need to trust God above all. Do you have any other advice that might help me? I would appreciate any that you could give.

  10. Two years ago I found my husband viewing pornography (we had been married 6 years at that time). I found out that day that he had an addiction that had gone on since he was very young, as he grew up in a non-christian home and had found his father's pornography as a boy. Before that day, I had never realized that masterbation and pornography went together for men, so I was very shocked. He repented and turned from his sin immediately. He has tried to show me this in every way. However, I have continued to struggle with issues of trust and body image to the point that I wish very often that I would die. I just want to trust him again and I want to feel pretty again, but I struggle so much. The past two years have been the worst of our marriage. I used to wonder why he didn't have a stronger sex drive as I did. I thought that this might change once I found out the "problem". But, this hasn't changed much. Which makes the issues of trust and body image even harder to deal with. I second guess everything he says and does. I have trouble being out of the room when he uses the computer at home (we don't have a t.v.) although I know that he has a private office at work and a laptop computer that he can take anywhere. Although he said that it was never an issue at work before and still isn't. My husband was saved before we were married. He is a wonderful spiritual leader and even a seminary student. I love him and I know that my lack of trust and negative body image are affecting our marriage for the worse. I have begged God to help me. I know that I need to trust God above all. Do you have any other advice that might help me? I would appreciate any that you could give.

  11. First,1Co 11:3 But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God. 1Ti 2:11 Let a wife learn quietly with all submissiveness.
    1Ti 2:12 I do not permit a wife to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet.
    Micheal, are you not doing this? You did this in our marriage and I sure many others. If you have a problem a family, you need to address the husband, not the wife. Also do you believe a Christian can lose his salvation or be controlled by Satan?
    Sound like you do, but I hope not.

  12. First,1Co 11:3 But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God. 1Ti 2:11 Let a wife learn quietly with all submissiveness.
    1Ti 2:12 I do not permit a wife to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet.
    Micheal, are you not doing this? You did this in our marriage and I sure many others. If you have a problem a family, you need to address the husband, not the wife. Also do you believe a Christian can lose his salvation or be controlled by Satan?
    Sound like you do, but I hope not.

  13. Before my husband & I married, I found porn magazines in the house that he was living in before our marriage was to take placein a few weeks. He only got angry with me for being nosey. After we married, I found some magazines in an old dresser in the basement. Again he just got angry with me and wouldn't talk about it. Over the years, (we have been married for over 24 years now) there have been little things that have made me think that he still was possibly involved, at least maybe off and on. One time I found a bunch of Fredericks of Hollywood catalogs in a cabinet of his boat. He said that he was afraid that if I saw them in the mail I'd get mad and that he was just waiting to throw them away safely. Once there was an icon on our computer that said SEX. We had just started having internet and I didn't know anything about it so when he said that he absolutely had no idea how it got on there I tried to beleve him. Not long ago, I was looking up something on the internet and just happened to be on his page (or whatever) and I clicked on some spot and it showed a recently visited site list or something like that, and one of them was a porn site! I went to it and it was really bad. I talked to my husband and begged him to be honest with me but he first said he had no idea how it got there and then after looking it it with me said that once when he had been looking for some kind of tools or something for the car or something, this "lead" or whatever came up and he clicked on it before he knew what it was. I know there haven't been a whole lot of incidents over 24 years but I have to wonder if I just haven't found out other things. He is so very convincing when he says he is absolutely not looking at porn. He is a great husband,dad, and provider; we are both saved and very involved in
    our church, and we have a great sex life (he does like for me to dress up in sexy things - does that mean anything?) What I need to know is, should I confront him about this again even though I haven't found anymore evidence or should I just ask God to take care of it and let it be? I am very hurt and these things have also made me very suspicious and jealous and embarrassed about my body. I try not to let it make me say or do things I shouldn't but I get mad a lot when he watches TV and a sexy girl comes on. Do you think he could be innocent? Please help me to know what to do! Thank you so much!

  14. Before my husband & I married, I found porn magazines in the house that he was living in before our marriage was to take placein a few weeks. He only got angry with me for being nosey. After we married, I found some magazines in an old dresser in the basement. Again he just got angry with me and wouldn't talk about it. Over the years, (we have been married for over 24 years now) there have been little things that have made me think that he still was possibly involved, at least maybe off and on. One time I found a bunch of Fredericks of Hollywood catalogs in a cabinet of his boat. He said that he was afraid that if I saw them in the mail I'd get mad and that he was just waiting to throw them away safely. Once there was an icon on our computer that said SEX. We had just started having internet and I didn't know anything about it so when he said that he absolutely had no idea how it got on there I tried to beleve him. Not long ago, I was looking up something on the internet and just happened to be on his page (or whatever) and I clicked on some spot and it showed a recently visited site list or something like that, and one of them was a porn site! I went to it and it was really bad. I talked to my husband and begged him to be honest with me but he first said he had no idea how it got there and then after looking it it with me said that once when he had been looking for some kind of tools or something for the car or something, this "lead" or whatever came up and he clicked on it before he knew what it was. I know there haven't been a whole lot of incidents over 24 years but I have to wonder if I just haven't found out other things. He is so very convincing when he says he is absolutely not looking at porn. He is a great husband,dad, and provider; we are both saved and very involved in
    our church, and we have a great sex life (he does like for me to dress up in sexy things - does that mean anything?) What I need to know is, should I confront him about this again even though I haven't found anymore evidence or should I just ask God to take care of it and let it be? I am very hurt and these things have also made me very suspicious and jealous and embarrassed about my body. I try not to let it make me say or do things I shouldn't but I get mad a lot when he watches TV and a sexy girl comes on. Do you think he could be innocent? Please help me to know what to do! Thank you so much!

  15. Jesus says in Matthew 5:28, "But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart." Therefore, as a husband views pornography is he not committing adultery? According to Jesus in Matthew 5:32, this is "martial unfaithfulness" and his wife has clear grounds for divorce. PLEASE CORRECT ME IF I'M WRONG.

  16. Jesus says in Matthew 5:28, "But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart." Therefore, as a husband views pornography is he not committing adultery? According to Jesus in Matthew 5:32, this is "martial unfaithfulness" and his wife has clear grounds for divorce. PLEASE CORRECT ME IF I'M WRONG.

  17. My husband and I have been married for 2 years now. We married 3 years after being together. A few days before I found out I was with child I found papers on the floor in our bathroom. When I picked them up I seen that it was to fill out to order porn magazines. I asked him about it, he said he had no idea where it came from, then an hour later he told me it was his, that he had bought a magazine while I was at work. He promised he would never do it again. When I was about 7-8 months pregnant I went to his work shop outside the house to get him for supper and found him looking at porn magazines. Again he promised it would NEVER happen again. Things seem like they got better with his problem after our son was born. However, when our son was about 6 months old I went to get him from his work shop for supper and there he was once again looking at new magazines. Again, the promises that it wouldn't happen again. Around Christmas of last year (2009) our son was around 10-11 months old, he wanted his daddy that he just didn't see much of because he was always in his shop. I put him in his playpen and went outside to get his daddy, and there he was again looking at more magazines. Each and every time this has happened he promised me that it wouldn't happen again and they were burnt. My son is now 19 months old. My husband has been out in his shop alot once again. He doesn't bother with our son that much, and he just seems to not be interested in me at all. 4 days again I went to look at what he said he was working on for our son, and there in the box beside what he was suppose to be working on, but there was nothing done to it, was a porn magazine and a toy. I was enraged! I cried and cried. I just don't know what to do to help my husband. My husband came from a mennonite background. I grew up not going to church, although I believe in God. I believe in what God can do and does do. I sat down with my mother-inlaw 2 days ago and confided in her with my hurt and pain. She is Mennonite. She had some very wonderful things to say to me and to help me see that I must still be here for my husband, to know that he needs help and I must be there to support him. She gave me your book, Created to be his Help Meet to read. She has been reading it herself to understand more of where her place is. She said that there were some spots in the book that talks about the issue, and I have read it. I am really trying hard to do as I should, but it is really hard. He blames me for his evil sin. He told me that I am not attractive and I do not know how to "have sex" (sorry to be so blunt I don't know how else to put it). He is the only partner I have ever had, although I am his fifth partner (he was into drugs after he left the mennonite faith and did things he regrets). I am so shocked and I just don't know what else to do. I am afraid that if I let it go again he will think I am okay with it and that I don't care that he keeps doing it. I don't want that at all. I don't believe in that and I thought that he did not either. To me it is adultry. He is lusting for another woman, even though it is only pictures in a magazine. I love my husband very much. I want nothing more than to fix this problem and go on with our lives. I want my son to have his father. I am 21 years old, my husband 24. My life is only beginning but I feel as if it is the end. Please if there is any advice you could give me, other than what I have read in Created to be his Help Meet. I would appreciate any advice I can get! Thank you so much!

  18. My husband and I have been married for 2 years now. We married 3 years after being together. A few days before I found out I was with child I found papers on the floor in our bathroom. When I picked them up I seen that it was to fill out to order porn magazines. I asked him about it, he said he had no idea where it came from, then an hour later he told me it was his, that he had bought a magazine while I was at work. He promised he would never do it again. When I was about 7-8 months pregnant I went to his work shop outside the house to get him for supper and found him looking at porn magazines. Again he promised it would NEVER happen again. Things seem like they got better with his problem after our son was born. However, when our son was about 6 months old I went to get him from his work shop for supper and there he was once again looking at new magazines. Again, the promises that it wouldn't happen again. Around Christmas of last year (2009) our son was around 10-11 months old, he wanted his daddy that he just didn't see much of because he was always in his shop. I put him in his playpen and went outside to get his daddy, and there he was again looking at more magazines. Each and every time this has happened he promised me that it wouldn't happen again and they were burnt. My son is now 19 months old. My husband has been out in his shop alot once again. He doesn't bother with our son that much, and he just seems to not be interested in me at all. 4 days again I went to look at what he said he was working on for our son, and there in the box beside what he was suppose to be working on, but there was nothing done to it, was a porn magazine and a toy. I was enraged! I cried and cried. I just don't know what to do to help my husband. My husband came from a mennonite background. I grew up not going to church, although I believe in God. I believe in what God can do and does do. I sat down with my mother-inlaw 2 days ago and confided in her with my hurt and pain. She is Mennonite. She had some very wonderful things to say to me and to help me see that I must still be here for my husband, to know that he needs help and I must be there to support him. She gave me your book, Created to be his Help Meet to read. She has been reading it herself to understand more of where her place is. She said that there were some spots in the book that talks about the issue, and I have read it. I am really trying hard to do as I should, but it is really hard. He blames me for his evil sin. He told me that I am not attractive and I do not know how to "have sex" (sorry to be so blunt I don't know how else to put it). He is the only partner I have ever had, although I am his fifth partner (he was into drugs after he left the mennonite faith and did things he regrets). I am so shocked and I just don't know what else to do. I am afraid that if I let it go again he will think I am okay with it and that I don't care that he keeps doing it. I don't want that at all. I don't believe in that and I thought that he did not either. To me it is adultry. He is lusting for another woman, even though it is only pictures in a magazine. I love my husband very much. I want nothing more than to fix this problem and go on with our lives. I want my son to have his father. I am 21 years old, my husband 24. My life is only beginning but I feel as if it is the end. Please if there is any advice you could give me, other than what I have read in Created to be his Help Meet. I would appreciate any advice I can get! Thank you so much!

  19. Thank you for addressing this. It seems to be a huge "hidden problem", and I see so many wives who end up blaming themselves and putting themselves down because of their husband's porn addiction. My husband has struggled with pornography and sees it as normal (he is not a Christian), but it has hurt me deeply because I feel rejected that he would turn to such a thing, and it has caused him to express an interest in other forms of immoral sex, such as homosexuality and group sex, because they are promoted on phonographic websites. I plan on staying with him, and to try to honor and submit to him, but it is a struggle for me to keep my respect for him, and my attraction to him, knowing he is probably thinking of those things while making love to me. I wonder if many husbands would still indulge in pornography if they knew the pain and anguish it causes so many wives when it is allowed to intrude upon their marriage.

    D Town, I think considering looking at porn as grounds for divorce may be stretching things, because that same extrapolation would mean anyone who is angry is also a murderer, and would make that grounds for death. In either case, having grounds for a divorce does not mean a divorce is required, and it is still better to remain together if at all possible. Being the wife of a porn-addict is usually still preferable to the alternative. (If we take the Bible at it's word about divorce and remarriage, and believe that women are to keep the home and teach their children there - it is very hard for most divorcees to do this, because it often requires outside employment to get by).

  20. Thank you for addressing this. It seems to be a huge "hidden problem", and I see so many wives who end up blaming themselves and putting themselves down because of their husband's porn addiction. My husband has struggled with pornography and sees it as normal (he is not a Christian), but it has hurt me deeply because I feel rejected that he would turn to such a thing, and it has caused him to express an interest in other forms of immoral sex, such as homosexuality and group sex, because they are promoted on phonographic websites. I plan on staying with him, and to try to honor and submit to him, but it is a struggle for me to keep my respect for him, and my attraction to him, knowing he is probably thinking of those things while making love to me. I wonder if many husbands would still indulge in pornography if they knew the pain and anguish it causes so many wives when it is allowed to intrude upon their marriage.

    D Town, I think considering looking at porn as grounds for divorce may be stretching things, because that same extrapolation would mean anyone who is angry is also a murderer, and would make that grounds for death. In either case, having grounds for a divorce does not mean a divorce is required, and it is still better to remain together if at all possible. Being the wife of a porn-addict is usually still preferable to the alternative. (If we take the Bible at it's word about divorce and remarriage, and believe that women are to keep the home and teach their children there - it is very hard for most divorcees to do this, because it often requires outside employment to get by).

  21. @Hummel - This booklet was written for men as they have historically had the greater problem with this issue. This problem is becoming more prominent among women. The booklet would be applicable to them (you).

  22. @Hummel - This booklet was written for men as they have historically had the greater problem with this issue. This problem is becoming more prominent among women. The booklet would be applicable to them (you).

  23. A painful subject in my life also. My husband has been using porn since his age was still in the single digits. He naively thought he would be able to stop when we got married which was over a decade ago. We have been battling this as a team for all this time.

    I have not seen any time devoted in any articles listed under "addiction" on this website that it IS, in fact an addiction. I find the message: 'truly repent and get over it' making too simple a very complicated problem. Would you really send the same message to a drug addict? The problem with this particular addiction, as was stated in the article, is that the internet is now available EVERYWHERE. Yes, I have seen God give some people instant freedom from their addictions, but for many others it is a slower process.

    My husband has agreed to give me control over the password to the computer in our home. He understands that I need to feel safe in my own home, and that means no internet for him in our home unless I am present with him. He knows that he may not be strong enough to do the right thing and is willing to have this protection for both of our safety.

    The workplace is more difficult, and we are still working through it. He is in a private office and able only for short periods of time (days/weeks) to stay on appropriate sites. Now that we have safety in the home, our next plan is to find out how he can be safe in the workplace. I am coming to the realization that it may need to mean a job that has no computer access, a difficult thing in his line of work. Unless we can find a way to keep him accountable at work, which we are still trying to figure out.

    My husband has a good heart and good intentions, but has been trapped in this addiction since he was a boy. I find your referrals to 'porn freaks' and the tone of your article incredibly uncompassionate to those who struggle with addiction. Yes, it is wrong. Yes, to me it is betrayal, with almost as devastating an impact as adultery with a live woman instead of an image computer screen. Yes, it has wounded me and affected my self-image and the intimacy of our marriage.

    But what my husband needs isn't to be beaten down. Shame is what drives this vicious cycle for him. He needs to be encouraged, to be valued, to be loved and to be respected - things that fight against the shame that drives him towards pornography. Yes, above all, he needs to be on his knees, repenting, confessing his weakness and need for our Lord and Saviour. But let's not forget that he needs compassion too. Shame fuels these addictions. I abhor the idea of shaming a man into being the man he should be.

  24. Last two paragraphs are spot on. It is the Love of Christ that leads to repentance. You are a
    good wife who is able to say "I know you have a problem but I love you and will support, love and
    pray for you" Once it is in the light the secretive aspect is taken away.

  25. I feel so desperate. I feel so so hurt. I have been married for six years, I have four children. My husband is addicted to porn and I just found out a few months ago. I feel like a part of me died, like the last six years have been an utter horrid lie. I was no virgin when we married and he alwasy says well,I forgave you. But I was saved and repented from this. And I have NEVER been unfaithful to him. He gets so angry when I bring it up, which I do all the time. Because i feel so so alone. I would never disrespect him, and share this with someone else. i feel so ugly and foolish. I have stretch marks and my boobs sag from nursing and I cry when I see myself. I know he must thing I am disgusting. How can I minister to him when I feel so broken? How can I love him when he is hurting me? I feel so so sad for my children, what a LIER. I homeschool, I submit to him, I try to honor him. I am usually the one asking for sex, not him. What can I do to help myself and help him? I feel very very sick, and he feels very very irritated at me.

  26. I must add, I am the same L above. I LOVE him! He is not a bad man, in many ways he is an excellent husband and father. Which is why I feel so confused, how can he do this wicked thing and love me. How can he be a nice man and act so gross? Like I said, before I was saved, I was very impure. Then I was created new and this was no longer part of me. I was very happy with him until this. And I feel like this very ugly man I don't know is living with me. He is very angry and hateful. He tells me it's my fault because we have kids, because we fight. Because I am not a good wife. I am 25, and I try my best to do the right thing. I really, really want to please him. To be a helper to him. I feel like dirt. We have no church, he hasn't found one he likes. I feel like the ONLY person I have is him and if I try to tell him how I feel he says I am a stupid woman and he'll leave and never come back, he won't live with a complaining woman.

    1. I was so much like your husband. I was the nice guy that people loved and liked but secretly, I harbored sin. Jesus used a very unbelievable chain of events that i could never have predicted for my sin to be revealed and confessed. Once out there, it broke me. It broke me to see the damage and hurt I had caused, especially to my wife. Your husband needs that breaking moment. I don't know what it will be but it needs to happen to him. I'm sure it may be different for everyone. Sounds like he is defensive. He needs an interview with Jesus somehow and we (my wonderful wife and children) will be praying for that to happen. God is your faithful one. Draw closer to Him and pray that something will touch your husband like he has never been touched before. In the meantime, pray for God's grace daily to continue to love, honor and reverence your man...God used the 'Created' book to prepare my wife and our relationship for my sin to be brought into the light. We are both sure that God performed a miracle in our relationship...He can do it for yours too!
      From my wife: My heart so goes out to you! I so relate to your feelings of desperate hurt, inferiority, hopelessness, and feeling like the whole marriage has been a lie and huge betrayal...one, most important, thing I learned was that I needed to be ready and open to hear out his confessions AND welcome and encourage ALL his darkness to be brought out. It hurts like crazy but it is necessary for his freedom. The enemy of his soul thrives and succeeds in the darkness of his secrets. He will remain powerless against temptation until he has nothing left hidden from you; big or small, before you met, or after you married. 100% honesty and openness, for you two are one flesh. When he can be sure that you love him, even once knowing the extent of his dirty past, he will be more able to experience the love and forgiveness of God. While you continue to love him with everything you have and all that God provides you for strength, be praying for your husband's BROKENNESS!! When my husband broke, his transformation was unmistakable... he was always the sweet, nurturing type, I just KNEW I now had a different man. Everyone else knew it too. (I should also tell you, we had 4 children when his sin was brought to the light...God has healed our "irreparable" marriage, given us 5 more beautiful children and is now allowing our story and family to help others.)
      Back to me: Out of our healing has come such a burden for men like your husband. If he wants to talk he can call me. I drive truck during the day (west coast time) and would love to speak to him if he would only call. I will not mention your write up. You can tell him that you saw something about us on the web. We just started a small billboard ministry and have some resources at our website: slavery2victory.com. Please contact my wife on the site and we will email you my number for him. WE'RE PRAYING for you! There is victory and restoration.

  27. If your husband is sexually molesting your children YOU MUST BY LAW TURN HIM OVER TO THE AUTHORITIES OR LOSE YOUR CHILDREN FOR FAILURE TO PROTECT. PLEASE REVISE THIS IN YOUR ARTICLE!

  28. Oh my, but won't THIS article be fun to get involved with?

    I'm a former porn producer, saved by God's grace in 2006. I've since gone on to speak in front of more than six million people about this topic. One of those who heard me speak sent a link to me via Facebook earlier this afternoon. At the moment, I don't have time to say all I'd like to say, because I must get to an appointment.

    I share a story that might change the perspective of Christian men when it comes to the topic of pornography. If you've not had a chance to hear me speak in public, check out the video on the top of this page, where I share God's story in my life:

    http://www.donnypauling.net/

    As for the question on whether or not pornography is an affair, I think my ex-wife (my life choices resulted in divorce) nails it in her response letter at the bottom of this column:

    Dear Michael Pearl, there's one thing I'd like to briefly mention: anything God loves, his enemy will twist and pervert. God gave sex to humanity as a gift. His first command was to be fruitful and multiply. That has nothing to do with strawberries or algebra. One way Satan twists that beautiful gift is through pornography. Those who are entrapped in it are not evil. They've simply deviated from the path God set for them to follow, and they need someone to be Jesus in skin, rescuing them from the mess they've made of their life. You've undoubtedly NEVER seen a toddler, learning to walk, that is screamed at by a parent: "That's the third time you've fallen today! This walking thing isn't for you!" Instead, a patient parent keeps putting the toddler back up on its feet each time he or she reaches for them. The same is true for God: as long as we keep reaching back up, asking for His help, he'll set us back on our feet and tell us to walk again.

    1. Donny, actually God's first commandment was for Eve not to eat the fruit! After she and Adam committed that sin, God told them to go and be fruitful and multiply. That statement is exactly the one the devil uses to attract others into promiscuous activity, essentially saying God told us to go out and have sex, shame. Original sin as it were...

  29. I write this as a long-time anti-pornography activist, as well as one who once worked in an ex-gay ministry to help homosexuals leave their "lifestyle" and experience the healing and Freedom that is found in Jesus Christ.

    Romans 10 does not say "If you confess with your mouth Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart God has raised him from the dead, and never, ever commit this one particular sin again, you shall be saved." You can't really experience the freedom of Romans 8 until you understand the struggle of Romans 7 - "Who shall free me from this body of death?" and "that which I do, I don't want to do."

    If there's one thing I've learned in my walk with the Lord, it's that it's a marathon and not a sprint. We stop, we stumble, we fall down - the key is to get up, keep going, and know that we WILL cross that finish line.

  30. As a man who is saved and is trying to be free of the horrible sin of porn, I find your article to be extremely discouraging. You may be right in saying that we have a choice, but you are dead wrong in saying it's as easy as saying no. I have been fighting my porn addiction of 6 years for the last year and a half. I have grown closer to God, he has worked in my life, even while I still struggle at times. I will say this, I do not fall regularly, there is time between mishaps, and most of the time those are because I've made choices that have distanced me from God's presence. Despite those times what encourages me to change is not guilt. Guilt only causes people to hide and delve deeper into themselves, not to seek out help, not to try and be free. It discourages approaching anyone because they believe they are disgusting and not worth anything when guilt and shame are piled on the man (or even woman).

    I wish to propose the solution, it is not one of hate or condemnation, it is an approach of love. To love them where they're at, and to love them enough where they can see the way out through Christ's love coming from those around them. The only way to be free is through the love of Christ.
    God says in His word, "For God did not send his Son to condemn the world, but to save it."
    The way to freedom is not through condemnation it is through Christ. And we must make this known to the men in our lives. Christ's love can change stubborn hearts, and only through him can true freedom be found.

    Please consider what I'm saying, and listen to the words of Christ, " But when he heard it, he said, “Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. Go and learn what this means, ‘I desire mercy, and not sacrifice.’ For I came not to call the righteous, but sinners.” (Matthew 9:12, 13 ESV)

  31. This was my first experience with NGJ ministries and I will probably not have a second. This article was written in a spirit of hatred and judgment which is absolutely the opposite of Christian.

    I don't know if you personally might have been hurt by this sin, Michael. But I can honestly say as someone who is fighting my own battle in this area, you just hurt others.

    If this article had come at a different point in my life (probably about a year ago), it would have completely derailed me and caused me to give up my goal of freedom from this addiction. It's not hard to imagine that someone out there is in such a vulnerable spot and a friend shared this article, thinking that it would help them. Most likely you just set them back and made them feel like there was something seriously wrong with them because they still struggle here.

    You want to talk about God's judgment? Matthew 18:6, "But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea."

    If anyone is out there who is seriously struggling with this sin and can't understand why they can't get the victory, reply to this comment (that is, of course, assuming that you successfully wade through Michael's vitriol first). I'm still not perfect, but I am definitely closer to Christ today than I was even three months ago.

    The Christian life is about growth. Perfection doesn't happen overnight. There might be those who shed their pornography addiction with very little effort, but that is not the majority of us. And those that do shed it so easily are not perfect either. I'm sure they are acutely aware of plenty of other failings that they must deal with. We will only be perfect after death. Until then, we just have to keep pursuing a vibrant, personal relationship with our Savior. That is the ONLY way to experience growth and sanctification. Not positive thinking, magic prayers, affirmative decisions, altar calls, etc.

    Forgot to click the "notify me of followup comments" button. I won't be able to respond if I don't know that someone has replied.

    1. I am not sure what exactly in this article that you find so objectionable. Thousands of these booklets have been sent into prisons leading many to overcome this particular sin in the lives. Countless others have been distributor reaping similar results. It is a message of hope that a man does not have to remain in bondage to this sin, but that there is victory. Your final full paragraph appears to be in agreement with the article. Praise God for your victory and growth in this area.

      1. "You do not deserve sympathy or understanding; you deserve condemnation and scorn."

        Right, because that's exactly the attitude that Christ exuded when He cried out, "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do."

        I understand that there is a difference between those who fight temptation, but lose on occasion, and those who have simply given up trying. But I don't see you draw that conclusion anywhere in this article. How many men might be young Christians who still struggle in this area, came to this article expecting to find some insight, and found only condemnation?

        "Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted. Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ. For if a man think himself to be something, when he is nothing, he deceiveth himself."

        Again, there is a time and place for hard preaching and sharp admonition. But it should always be accompanied by a message of grace, forgiveness, and acceptance. It is only those who refuse to change and repent that have no hope.

        "You do not deserve a woman."

        Even those men who have never struggled with pornography or infidelity of any kind do not deserve the blessing of a happily married life. Making such a bold-faced statement conjures up the image of one man standing on a hill top scowling at his Christian brothers and saying "look at me and the example I set" instead of saying "Look at Christ, before whom we are all worms."

        "Your secret world is revolting to real men who know how to love one woman and dedicate the rest of their energies to creative living."

        Same as above.

        "then the future of any and all pornography users is the suffering of eternal damnation."

        Again, you make no distinction between those who are growing and learning, but still fail, and those who will never repent. Also, you cannot see the future or peer into men's hearts. It is not possible for you to know who will and will not repent. At one point, I'm sure every Christian who had heard the name Saul of Tarsus firmly believed that he would burn in hell for eternity. Even Ananias had to be persuaded by God that Saul's conversion was real.

        "I have done you a service by increasing your guilt, by bringing the law down on you like it will in the day of judgment."

        It is not any Christian's job to increase another's guilt or bring the law down on them. It is our job to admonish and encourage our Christian brethren, pointing them to Scripture and the example taught by Christ. He alone wields the law and uses it to convict men of sin.

        Understand, I am not making the argument "Only God can judge me." As I've already stated, there is a time, place, and method for hard preaching and sharp admonition. An internet article is _not_ appropriate for such. Primarily this is because an internet article is impersonal and largely anonymous, which leaves no effective method for reading an individual's emotional response to what you are saying and directing the discussion appropriately. There are some who would respond at the first hint of admonition and seek help and accountability. Others will take more effort to convince of their need for repentance and restoration (even born-again Christians). An internet article lumps them all together.

        "It will take years for the temptations to go away."

        This is really the only hint you give that not everyone experiences total victory overnight. But it's really not enough. You don't provide any helpful advice or resources for those (like myself) who are seeking weapons for the fight.

        1. You are taking issue with something unnecessarily. Very early, Michael identifies his intended audience. The article is partially in respond to the correspondence "from wives concerned about their husband's pornography indulgence". Two paragraphs later he states, "If you isolate yourself in a room and indulge in pornography, you are not sick: you are evil". These and other statements clearly show that Michael is not speaking to those who are struggling or who have occasional lapses, but to those who are unrepentantly "indulging". These are usually men who have rejected previous counsel and admonition and still persist in their indulgence. These are the men that he continues to address throughout the article. Maybe Michael will write another article address about guarding against the getting to the place of bondage to pornography.

          1. How does that statement narrow his audience at all? I can't even hypothesize an example where you wouldn't isolate yourself in order to consume pornography.

            Also, that doesn't address my concern that an internet article (and even a pamphlet) are not the proper forms for admonishing a brother about this sin. Those who are truly so steeped in it that the tears of their own wives will not sway them are not going to read an article on the internet about it because they are not looking for help.

            Only those who are already convicted about their sin and are looking for help are going to find this, and it will probably do more harm than good because the article doesn't differentiate between them and its intended audience.

            Maybe I am being somewhat combative, but I have personal experience with this darkness. I can say that I almost fell into the trap of thinking, "It's not hurting anyone and I won't be able to get victory over it anyway, so why try." I was rescued, not by someone raining hellfire and brimstone on me, but by Christian brothers who came alongside of me and fought next to me on this battlefield.

            I do not doubt that if I had read this article last summer, I would probably still be steeped in pornography, with little hope of gaining the victory.

          2. It is obvious that your experience is uniquely different from the many that were positively influenced and redirected by the booklet. What you have written indicates that you were in a struggle and ashamed of what you were doing. Your isolation was motivated by your shame and the need to hide it, not for the opportunity to indulge uninterrupted. You saw it as a sin and recognized your need. I have encountered and dealt with both men like yourself, tenderhearted and struggling with tears over the ugliness of and damaged caused by their sin, and with those who are even hard and cold to the tears and pleadings of their wives, and still justifying their sin. You and men like you respond to help in your struggle ("And of some have compassion, making a difference" Jude 22), while others deny their need for help, rejecting brotherly concern ("And others save with fear, pulling them out of the fire: hating even the garment spotted by the flesh" Jude 23). Sometimes the differences are not clear and discernment is necessary, so we need to be sensitive to the Holy Ghost whenever we are ministering in this area.
            The online version is not there so much to be viewed by the men in need of it (they will not be looking for help), but by those who know such men. The booklet too, is meant to be share by others with those that need it (and probably do not recognize their need). One prison ministry includes a copy of the booklet with every copy of Good and Evil requested by inmates.
            I am still unclear how the booklet with its message of hope and victory would have left you with little hope.

  32. Wow! I am impressed by the level of knowledge the Lord has granted unto you. I had doubts there were others who fully understood the ramifications of pornography and Jesus obviously led me to this page to see that there are. Unfortunately, I was subjected to this filth as a child by finding some of the "acceptable" porn i.e. Playboy, Penthouse, etc. As an adolescent, I had no understanding and was being guided by Satan and his followers to believe it was perfectly normal, every "real man" looked at the stuff and had a few in his dresser drawer. Because it started at such a young age (12), it became impossible for me to discern the difference between right and wrong, and I believe because of this fact, at least in my case, I was a victim, after all, I didn't print and sell this trash to the masses. I am however to blame for not listening to and living perfectly by, the commandments of God even from that young age. Eventually, it led to a tumultuous and hopeless, dead end life, which thankfully, led me to my own salvation through Jesus Christ at age 25. It was nothing other than the sin of lust that led me to the gates of hell and there are many that fall therein. Since that day, I have been seeking His will and that has been 25 years and I'm still far from perfect. I did backslide at times a few years ago due to the ever prevalent nature of the beast and the ease at which a man, woman or child, can access pornography via the internet and there, it is promoted far more than it ever was prior to the WorldWideWeb. I was reminded of just how disgusting it all really is and quickly realized the errors of my ways, I repented through prayer and self sacrifice and continue on my path to perfect love through Jesus. This is no small feat because you must also know, once you separate yourself from this way of thinking, you no longer "fit in" to the society built around us and can no longer find work, friends, financial gain or acceptance, essentially, you are refusing the mark of the beast. I can't even find a church to go to as I believe they are ALL filled with these devilish beings. There is only one way and that way is righteousness through the word and the HOPE is living by faith! Praise God!!! Regardless of what others think or how they treat you afterwards, your advice is spot on and without a doubt, truly inspired by the word of God as I have known it. If anyone reading this is falling into this particular sin, please believe, that which Michael is saying to be true and his advice, is the path to correction. Only Jesus Himself can wash away this wickedness, through diligence and steadfastness combined with continual prayer can you overcome it and resist the temptations the devil himself will throw at you, but it does get easier after a while. Please, have no doubts that which he is saying about even your children being opened to the spirits of hell for this sin is true. Thank you Michael for helping me believe all is not lost and I am not alone, keep the faith, the eyes of God are always watching us, thank you JESUS... Jesus is Lord!