Filter by: Products Articles
Filter by:
Do you get our FREE Magazine?

Preparing to Be a Help Meet—NEW BOOK!

February 15, 2010
Dark haired dark eyed tan skinned young woman wearing sparkling headband holding up her wedding dress before a mirror preparing to be a help meet

Nearly every wife will confess that the first year or two of married life was…how shall I say it…a frustrating learning experience. Most girls spend plenty of time planning for their wedding, but make no preparation for the weeks and years to follow. Many wives are provoked to bitterness during the first year and never get over it. All this could so easily be avoided with simple instruction. It was with good reason God said let the aged women teach the younger. Trial and error is not the best teacher when it comes to marriage. It is much less painful to learn beforehand what God has to say about your role as a help meet to that special man God will bring into your life. It is the older women who have experienced the joys of a good marriage whom God has appointed to pass along his instructions. That is what I have done in this new book Preparing to Be a Help Meet.

Preparing to Be a Help Meet contains six sweet love stories written by wives sharing their experiences about how God taught them to be the help meets they are today. Three of the stories are from wives that have been married over 40 years. Three stories are by new brides who, before marriage, were trained to be the help meet God intended. All the love stories are beautiful, and will show you how wonderful it is to walk together in God’s light.

In addition to the six personal testimonies, this book is full of short stories from a wide range of cultural backgrounds. Funny tales, ideas of how to gain a good man’s attention, and even a tragic testimony all teach important lessons. You will meet “Grabbers” and “Hidden Flowers”, and discover how to avoid being either. The chapter on “Antsy Babes” will remind you why patience is so important. You will be warned as you read stories of how texting, emailing and other forms of cyberspace have destroyed many budding relationships and even marriages.

An important part of this book is instruction on preparing for your future by saving money, developing skills, gathering information on cooking, health, and many other topics. Girls will see how one wise young woman planned her wedding God’s way. Along the way the reader will learn what to pack in her Heavenly Hope Chest.

A shy girl—Hidden Flower—who has never had a man interested in her, will learn how to become visible to godly men. Brassy girls—Grabbers—will be shown a mirror so they will see how good men view pushy females. Impatient girls—Antsy Babes—will learn patience.

Girls will be instructed on how young men seek out a wife and what they are looking for in a possible mate. They will discover what turns young men away and what causes a young man to consider a girl. In the last chapter, several men speak up to say what they really appreciate in their wives. And, of course, several single, wife-hunting males speak out here and there to give their opinion of what I have written.

On a more sober note, the age-old question, “How do I know if this man is the will of God for me?” will be answered through Scripture, wisdom, and example.

As I was finishing the manuscript, three young women read and evaluated Preparing to Be a Help Meet. They all said the book was captivating and that they would be better daughters and wives for having read it. Several married women who read the rough manuscript said of this new book that any lady that enjoyed Created to Be His Help Meet will LOVE Preparing to Be a Help Meet and they will learn as much from it as they did from Created.

As the author, I believe the girl or married woman who reads Preparing to Be a Help Meet will close the book knowing that God answers prayer, that He wants to bless her and that marriage God’s way is indeed glorious.

At the back of the book, my daughter Shalom Pearl Brand put together an extensive Teacher’s Guide. Shalom and Kristen Leonard taught a girls’ Preparing to Be a Help Meet class last winter using the book’s draft as it was being written. Through the teaching of the Word the girls grew into righteous young women. Some of the girls said they just didn’t understand that God meant for them to start being a Proverbs 31 female NOW, training to be a help meet before becoming one. Shalom used the notes from her class to put together the Teacher’s Guide. It has ice breakers to get the girls laughing and talking, questions from the chapter they are studying, verses to look up to see what God requires, and challenges to obey God. Anyone with a heart to do so could use these step by step directions to teach a Help Meet class for singles or married ladies.

Even a young man reading this book can come to better understand how girls think and how better to approach a girl for marriage. So if any of you young men are wondering how…read and see!

Move over, Created…here comes Preparing to Be a Help Meet.


Preparing to Be a Help Meet is available for purchase from our web store as a book, or on audio as an MP3 CD or digital download. You can also order the book from NGJ by calling our toll-free order line 1-866-292-9936 (M–F, 8 am–5 pm CST).

In August 2010, we launched a new website where all of you married and unmarried women can discuss the book and ask questions. Visit the official Preparing to Be a Help Meet website and join in the conversation!

Leave a Reply

52 comments on “Preparing to Be a Help Meet—NEW BOOK!”

  1. Oh boy, wow, can't wait. I've said to my husband after reading your 'created' that I wish you would write a book for before marrieds. This is great, I am soo looking forward to it. We have 5 daughters, so maybe that explains my excitement. Can't wait!! Jill

  2. i think this book is a wonderful idea, I was married at 16 and did have great training from my mum,I know I married the right man as the Lord brought him along. we have been married for 17 years now, and I love your book "created" it has filled in the gaps that my mum didnt. I have 5 boys & 2 girls so this book will be a must in our house!! Thanks again for your wonderful newsletters Sarah

  3. So I tired to pre-order this on and it is not yet listed. What gives? And what is the release date for the second book in 'The Vision' series?

  4. @Cindy, @LaTasha: While we are not releasing the book to Amazon until the scheduled release date (April 15, 2010), you can pre-order the book from us by calling our toll-free order line 1-866-292-9936 (M-F, 8am-5pm CT).
    Case quantities (24 books) are 60% OFF until March 31, and single books can be ordered for 25% OFF retail during the month of April. Please see the March-April issue of NGJ Magazine to find these coupons.

  5. I learned so much from Created... and I'm excited to have a book appropriate for my single friends. Can't wait to read it! Thanks for the info on how to order it from you.

  6. Mrs. Pearl,
    I read your Created book years ago and wrote you a letter praying that one day you could write a book for young ladies not yet married for us to be able to start out with good habits and on the right foot. I am engaged to be married in May to a godly and wonderful man God directly brought to me. I cannot wait to read your book then begin my life journey as a help meet for him. God bless you and thank you for your godly teaching, you have encouraged and helped me in ways you will only know in glory...

  7. I confess I read the book, "Created to be his Help meet" only because I kept hearing the married ladies in my family talking about how good the book was. I'm EXCITED that there's a book for single ladies. I'm a single, and am looking forward to learning from the new book. 🙂

  8. Debi thank you for writing this book. A lady recommended it to me and I read in one month since I'm a slow reader, but i've been so blessed by this book... This book is exactly what I was telling my husband years ago when i commented to him that in our church, the older ladies are not teaching the younger about marriege. That's why I love and thank you for your heart to do this; and let me tell you I'm working on teaching every lady that GOD puts in my path to tell them what GOD has created her to be. My husband is very excited too I just want to be the help he needs, as an act of obedience to GOD.

  9. Hello, yes I am a man. I have not read the book, but my wife Carmen did. When my wife met me the one thing that she liked most about me was the y way that I taught the Bible. When we married, the one thing that bothered her the most was that she was going to be a pastor's wife. After reading this book, she has fallen in love with me all over again, no matter how she feels about her "inadequacy" Thank You for teaching a woman to recognize her VALUE in the eyes of her husband. P.S. Thank you for including a picture of your husband with you. You both look so in love, that my wife has accepted for me to grow my beard too.

  10. Is there any chance we can get read it online??I'm planning a girltalk sleepover and its about purity,modesty, and Gods way =) I'm happy to know that you've written a book for those preparing.I'd like to glean a few things before that I can share with the girls and learn for myself.So if there is a way can you let us know or email me? Thank you for your ministry!

  11. I am married, but I have read Created..and if this book is anything like that one it will be a blessing to many young girls and women (and furture husbands!!) What is your opinion on this book being used as a group premarital class?

  12. OMGOSH!!! I literally shouted a huge "YES!!!!" when I stumbled upon this! I am 20 and unmarried and will admitt to have read Created twice already, as my heart longs to be married, patience is a constant prayer in my life. Anyway, I am very excited for this book!! A BIG thank you to Mrs. Pearl for tackling a large task!! 🙂 It will be much appreciated by this reader I can assure you!!

  13. Thank you for this book!
    I read some of Created and tried reading it putting Brother, Father and Jesus were it said Husband but it didn't work.
    Thank you for a PREPARING book and may God bless you for your work. Although my Mama has been teaching my sisters and I how to treat our future husbands, I know this will give us more specific guides.

    Christ's Servant,
    Faith Elizabeth

  14. This is precisely the book I have been hoping you would write to follow up Created! Young women need to learn BEFORE marriage of God's plan for it, not like I did, 5 years in, and it's nearly too late to save it. Still unsure if mine will be saved or not; prayers appreciated from any inclined to offer them. Thank you, Debi; you cannot measure the blessing you have been to me and others like me.

  15. Hello. 🙂 I am 26 years old and I just wanted to say thank you for ministering to young ladies. My mom gave me the book "Created to be his hep Meet" a few years ago, it took me a while to read it, because I wanted to soak all that wonderful teaching up. I have recently become engaged to a wonderful man, who is a strong Christian, and wants to serve the Lord. I am so excited to hear that you are writing a book for someone who is just starting out... I loved your first one, but at time it was hard for a single girl to grasp what you were saying...(someone who has no knowledge of having a husband, good cranky loving or otherwise.:) Lol)I am so thankful that you were obedient and wrote both books, because it will help those who want to have a sweet, wonderful, loving, and just plain great marriage.
    With Love From Christ -Jess

  16. I was getting ready to comment and I was browsing the comments the last one was by my daughter! Ahhh...I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth...amen. Just as soon as we can I am ordering this book. I trust it will be great!

  17. Hi Deby, im Paty, im mexican, so i dont speak english very well.. but, im want to know, if this book "preparing to be a help meet", this book is in spanish too??,, im realy want this book, because im married next year, and i want read this book, when this book is in spanish?? thank you, you are bless to my life 😀 God bless you 😀

  18. Hey Debi, thanks for write this book!God is AMAZING, and give you a great give, well im think that the pen is move by HIM, My sister read "Created to be his Help meet" , As she read it once I leave home and I confess I read this because I kept hearing the married ladies in my church talking about how good the book was and really was a BLESSING for my soul. Since my childhood I love read, when a was a little teen to my fifteen I promise Wait for my future warrior, my future husband,WAIT is not easy in a culture that says DO! but I keep on Waiting, im waiting for him, commonly read about the topic but actually I

  19. We are distributors of your material. We give away Help Meet books at our church. I am praying that God will allow us to help you more. We love you. Thank you so much!

  20. i just finished reading 'created to be his help meet', although im not even married yet, but the book helped me prepare for the transaction when i do get married within the next year. :)i cannot wait to get my hands and eyes on this book cuz i know that it will help me ever so more in learning to be my future husband's help meet, considering i never had a mother example to learn from.... i am estatic about this book and i am already thanking God for this blessing... :)i REALLY cannot wait to share this book with my youth group, and show my pastor what discovery i have found... yay! lol

  21. I have been waiting and waiting to see something like this for boys and men, I am beginning to feel like all the pressure of a good marriage falls on women. Kinda frustrating.

  22. I have to agree with Sara. While I'm thrilled to know that there is now a book of sound advice preparing ladies for marriage, I cannot help but to feel burdened with the thought that marital success depends entirely on the wife's right behavior. I liked "Created" but was left wondering "where are the teachers who are willing to set the men straight?"
    I hope that "Preparing" will be candid enough to tell single women that sometimes the man you *think* you married isn't what he seems at all, and that the uphill climb that lies ahead is often lonely and perilous. And even doing all the right things as a wife is no guarantee that your husband won't persist in being selfish or downright mean. I wish "Created" had addressed that more.

  23. I'm really excited about this book!!! My husband bought it for me for my birthday and I have been devouring it!!! I don't know how to put this... I mean no offense in any way... on page 51, the word "priest" is misspelled... just know that this book is very much appreciated by both my husband & I. Our marriage has been blessed because of Created... and your obedience to God's Word--- and my husband has mentioned that he had noticed a difference!!! Thank you all and God Bless you sooooo very much!!!

  24. Thank you so very much for writing this book!! When I first heard that you were writing it, I couldn't wait until it was done, and when I saw it at our local homeschool conference, my sister and I bought it right away. I finished reading it in two days, and am very excited about what I have read. It is very practical and I am looking forward to reading it again, this time taking notes and taking action on the things I'm learning. I am twenty, so this is very timely. Thank you again for this wonderful book! God bless,

  25. I ordered a case of these books because I so loved Created...I am now reading created for the third time and will continue just to renew the spirit of my mind and continue to grow and increase! I also ordered a case the books of created and wait on God's lead to give them to who he wants and we are now going to order another case of created...I was so excited for these books and didn't even bother just ordering one because I was SURE I would love these and thought it so wonderful to have literature to hand to girls who weren't married yet! I got them just last week and immediately began reading...My husband was hesitant on me reading it because I was already married...but I told him I wanted to read what I was going to hand I was reading, I became confused...I had a time in the past where my Pastor actually told me to leave my Husband, who wasn't my Husband at the time, but he was into some trouble and someone who I beleived was good even though...I beleived in the Power of God and that my husband was called by God even though he was held captive to the world...Anyways he is in Prison now but serves the Lord with such a Pure heart! I praise God for him and who he is now is who I have seen from the very beginning! It's a very long story but finally I married him despite all people and my fears had to say about him and trust in the Lord...Well when I was obedient to my Pastor there was a single assistant youth pastor who came to the church and something inside of me wondered if God was bringing someone better in and I had to let go of the other...but this Man, my Husband, was chosen by GOD to be my Husband...Or I should say I was chosen by GOD to be his Wife!..Anyways I felt like I did it the wrong way when I read the first chapter of your love story with your husband and it brought up those memories which hurt my husbands heart and he then Got protective...I do have to say I wasn't LED by God to order the case of preparing but I was wanting them...and my Husband went along with it because we trusted you for the many other teachings we have read from you...I wish I could have read the rest of that book...but My husband asked me a question and I can't lie...He asked me if I would have read that before we married would I have married him and I said probably not because I would have been going against what you were teaching in the beginning as to go to seek godly counsel...I'm still a little confused and have this question roaming through my mind, were you LED by God to write this book or did others just want you to write know ideas flowing about from makes me so sad! The Lord has used you to be such a blessing to me and my husband and many others which I have passed along created...I so badly want to read prepared but I do not have the blessing from my Husband to do so and I am also a little afraid to read it due to being misled...I understand the jist of it that you are to spend your time preparing to be a help meet way before you meet your Husband as in Proverbs it says she brings her husband Good and not harm ALL the days of her life which I beleive start from the very first breath you take and not the day you become married...Please write back and pray that if this is truly from God and pure and not from wrong motives that my Husband would be led to bless me to read it and again purchase a case to pass out to do God Will! God bless you Abundantly and please let me know...were you truly led by God? I truly do love your teachings!

  26. Mrs. Pearl,Hi. My sister (19) and I(16) have read your AMAZING book and it has helped us not just as young ladies but as future wives and mothers. Everything said in the book touched our hearts in a special way. The illustrations and stories definitely made it more personal and helped us understand the concept more. The list, you gave, of things to do to prepare have been more useful than you could know.We both have personally taken on the ' challenge'. Just recently we both took turns staying for four days each with a lady whose husband was out of the country for two weeks. We not only kept house, but also helped cook, taught school and went grocery shopping. We got to experience a true mother's role. These past two weeks have been more beneficial for our future motherhood than anything, thanks to your suggestions. Our next goal is to save money to buy groceries for a family and also to make our own clothes. Sareena is looking into starting an herb garden, and I am looking into learning home remedies and first aid. We just really wanted to tell you just how much your book and words have impacted our lives. We have greatly appreciated our book and share it with our friends every chance we get. We are still soaking in all the information and taking it all to heart. Thank you for what you are doing to help young ladies prepare for their future lives. May God continue to use you greatly. Thanks, again.
    In Christ's love, Sareena and Siarra
    I ( Siarra) have had the pleasure of meeting one of your employees, Kirsten, and she was so encouraging to me. I am now praying about getting together a 'Preparing' bible study in our church. Please keep us in your prayers, as you all are in our's.

  27. ms. pearl. what a blessing created to be his helpmeet has been to me my family and some friends.i learned so much about myself and about truly being that proverbs 31 woman God has called me to be and that is also my desire to be.before this book i was on my way out of my marriage.God intercepted by bring this book to my attention and i am forever and eternally grateful.I have bought several books passed them out and have some bible studies for young ladies before they get married.This new book is going to be great. i am getting it asap.i have watched so many lives changed exspecially mine and my husband and children.I love u woman of God.May God continue to bless u and your family.

  28. I would love to read this book! My "testimony" is this:
    I was a spoiled kid. I had a life-threatening illness for much of my childhood, I was the youngest, thus, I was spoiled. I was a mouthy, rotten teenager. I wasn't made to mind, respect, or do chores. Not that I never did chores. I did, but not regularly or very willingly, usually. At 17, I quit school, started work in the kitchen at a bar, and lived with my boyfriend. 10 years later, that same boyfriend is my husband, and we have a 17-month-old son. 🙂 It took us a LOT of struggling to get to where we are now, and we certainly are nowhere near "the finish line" yet! 😉 I didn't learn to really keep house til recently. I didn't realize the importance of respecting my husband, either. I have learned a lot in the last couple of years, because we moved in with my parents so we could renovate our house completely (and it's been a ridiculously slow process). They've been married almost 40 years, and I think we have both learned a lot from them while living here. I prayed many times that God would teach me how to be a better wife, and in His time, and His way, he did. When my baby began scooting around the floors, I got in the habit of vacuuming. When my mother went back to work full-time (not because of us, btw), I took on all the meals. When the dishwasher broke down, I learned to keep up with the dishes. I still have lots of habits to work on, but I'm getting there!

  29. Thank you so much for writing this book. I have been in an on again off again relationship with my high school sweetheart for 15 years. He recently broke up with me yet again, but this time saying that he needed to get his life in order & didn't want to hold my life back from moving forward while I worked on himself. I truly believe he is my future husband, as we are always there for each other through many of our most challenging life moments. This break up hurt more because it left me wondering if I have just been naive in thinking that he is my future husband. I have sought counsel from people that I both love & respect, & even have written prayers from over the years about this relationship. I just bought your book today, & not only can I not put it down, but have began to really reflect on how I need to improve myself.

    I no longer feel like all hope is gone, & am excited to check back once I am finish with the book to share my testimony on how I grew from reading it.