How to Appear Righteous Even If You Are Not

Many godless people have positive traits that conceal their impiousness. You can pull off a very good imitation of a strong Christian by doing just three things.

  1. Be known as a hard worker who is a good steward of money and resources.
  2. Make your family your priority, not allowing work or play to rob them of your attention. Be faithful to your spouse in good times and bad.
  3. Be kind and respectful of others, seeking to promote others above self, never indulging in petty gossip.

If you exemplify these three traits, people will consider you to be an exemplary Christian. On the side, you can smoke, use drugs, view pornography, swear, sometimes drink excessively, and commit criminal acts in business, but if you don’t let those things define you, you can still pull off a good imitation of a Christian.

How to Profess Christianity but Be Known as a Depraved Heathen

  1. Be lazy and poor due to your unwillingness to work or to develop needed skills to meet the demand of the marketplace. Mope around and blame others for not giving you the chance to succeed. Envy successful people and speak ill of their avarice.
  2. Have interests that rob the family of your best. They can be sports, a hobby like fixing cars or motorcycles, fishing and hunting, or for the less energetic, you can just spend hours in front of the TV or on the computer, indulging your imagination. To make your imitation of a depraved sinner complete, be sure to express displeasure when the wife or children interrupt your endless indulgence. Make your wife unhappy with your lack of romancing and with your disrespect. Be demanding of her and expect to be served. Since you are a professing Christian, remind her of her need to submit. That will complete your image as a heathen.
  3. Go to church and talk like a Christian most of the time, but be sure to get on social media and make snide remarks that hurt others. Criticize the pastors and other professing Christians for their hypocrisy. Don’t express thankfulness or appreciation. Assume everyone owes you something. No one will ever suspect you are a Christian.

If you do these three things, everyone will be able to see beyond your profession and know that indeed you are godless.

Finally, there is a way to appear totally godly and still be deeply depraved: secretly view pornography. God will know who you really are and so will the devil. If no one finds out you just may prove to be the ultimate hypocrite and live your whole life with a reputation as a Christian. On judgment day, everyone else will be too busy rejoicing to miss your presence.