You may be tempted to use your mother’s old recipe. If you liked her cake, fine, but if it fell when baked, or slid off the plate, or left a bad taste in your mouth, then you will need to be careful not to fall into old habits that have already proven less than satisfactory.
In preparation for the cake, place your opinions in a disposable bowl and grind them into fine powder. If you have any books on psychology you can throw them in along with the approval of your friends. This will make a stinking, gooey mess, but if you will burn a candle scented with the book of Proverbs it makes the odor easier to bear. You can place this mess in a bio-safe container and mail it to the nearest university doing a study on child behavioral disorders. It will speed up their work and save millions of dollars in government grants. Don’t include a return address.
To make angel food cake, you must use all natural ingredients, no drugs. You must keep your working area sterile. Periodically use the word of God to disinfect your working area of such bacteria as psychology, therapy, social services, pastoral opinions, and public schools.
Start with two, big heart-shaped bowls, inseparably joined together in the middle. Fill them up with hope, joy, love, and peace. Stir these ingredients together until both bowls are running over. Now we are not making cake yet. We are just getting ready. You may think that since the bowls are full there is not room for the cake, but this is no ordinary cake. Just leave these ingredients in the two bowls until they start making bubbles that sound like giggles. You will then have the perfect environment for your cake.
Gather your basic ingredients: fine flour, well sifted; buttery praise; oil of grace; for seasonings you will need a mound of mercy, just a pinch of the salt of rebuke, and a bunch of instruction. You will want to have an inexhaustible supply of words of honey. You will need a good paddle to occasionally whip the ingredients into a workable consistency, but you do not want to whip the batter too much or you will cause it to fall. The object is to get the mix to rise higher and higher until it is fit for the angels to eat. You don’t want a heavy, over worked mix. It could stick in your throat. You must have sensitive hands and a delicate touch to make quality angel food cake.
Some people have started out with the right ingredients but put them in the wrong proportions and ended up with devil’s food cake. If you get too much rebuke and then fail to whip the batter into a yielding consistency the whole thing may harden in the bowl and you will never be able to shape it.
Place the finely sifted flour into the two heart shaped bowls. You will notice that there is some overflow but the flour quickly soaks up the love, joy, and peace. Liberally stir in the honey of your words. Everyone will notice the sweet smell immediately. Stir in the praise and grace. Hold on to the mercy. You will need it later. Stir the bunch of instruction in slowly, never more than can be assimilated, but continue until you have exhausted your supply. If you run out, you may need to get down on your knees and look for some more. You will find more mercy and grace at the same place.
According to flavor, occasionally stir in the salt of rebuke. Believe it or not, it makes everything sweeter. Honey alone will not sweeten the mix. Without the salt of rebuke the whole mess gets syrupy sweet, but will not stand firm in the oven of trials. When everything is stirred together, and you find the honey of your words and salt of rebuke have failed to sweeten the mix, it is time to use the paddle to whip the ingredients into a malleable consistency. Go gently but firmly until the salt and honey soak into the flour. As I pointed out earlier, if the other ingredients are not in the right proportions the paddle may harden the mix and keep it from ever rising. If it does get too hard, eat the mercy yourself, stir in some more honey of your word, and proceed forthwith.
When the mix is to your satisfaction, it is ready for the oven of trials. Some people are afraid to turn loose of the mix, but the time comes when you must commit it to be baked. If you have done your job well, it will come forth from the oven a cake fit for the angels.
Repeat for each new layer. Ice with thanksgiving, and serve with a scoop of humility. Your guests will be delighted. So will you.