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Shoshanna's Testimony

February 15, 2017

I sat in church one morning listening to my dad preach. I had been “saved” a few years before. I remembered the time I had cried and asked God into my heart. I hung onto that moment when I cried and felt those feelings as proof of my salvation. I worked to show fruit—praying, witnessing, being as righteous as I could—as I thanked God for paying it all. But no matter how many “good” things I did, it did not make up for my heart, and I would doubt. Then I would pray and rebuke the devil while singing, witnessing, and trying to be more righteous. Trying to strengthen myself in Him and quench my doubts, I would remember “that moment” and “my fruit” and then I would work hard to stand in Him.

righteousness-mp3-cd-290x3601That day at church, I sat there thinking about my “salvation” experience, my “righteousness,” and my amazing dad, and I realized that I had tried everything I could try. I had done everything that I could do. I knew that I could try the rest of my life, make others believe I was saved, and even convince myself some days; but late at night those doubts would come back, and fear of hell would haunt me. I saw my life passing before me—trying and failing. I saw myself on Judgment Day and I knew what my argument would be because I had made it with myself often: “Yes, I am saved. I watched Ee-Taow and saw people hearing truth and getting saved. I was moved and I cried. I was so thankful that Jesus died for the world, and I said the sinner’s prayer. I am Mike Pearl’s daughter and I grew up with my dad reading and studying the Bible every day. I knew truth. I witnessed and won people to the Lord. I prayed and God answered.”

Hearing my empty words echo in my head, I was horrified. At that moment, I knew I was lost. I knew there was no hope. I knew I was going to hell, and I knew I deserved it! I realized how hollow, sad, and empty my life was in my self-righteous condemnation I had for everyone. In my hopeless despair of eternal damnation, I saw HIM taking my place. JESUS is the way. My hope. My salvation. My God. My love. My heart. MY EVERYTHING! He died for me. He loves me. He wants me. He lives in me. His righteousness is deposited in my account and I am now the righteousness of God in him! I am free! I am SAVED! I am going to heaven and there is no DOUBT because it has nothing to do with me. It is HIM. It is HIM! The Man Christ JESUS SAVED ME! While I was lost, he found me, and now I rest in his finished work. IT IS FINISHED!!! REJOICE! REJOICE! I am thankful! No more fear. No more doubt.

Blood-bought child of God,

Shoshanna

Shoshanna and her husband James run the Bulk Herb Store company.

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5 comments on “Shoshanna's Testimony”

  1. This article has been on my mind for a week. I am confused :(. Is the difference pretty much that you just didn't love Jesus for Himself and *His* work before? I'm trying to understand the difference between your false salvation and true salvation. Thanks!
    Looking forward to your reply,
    Freedom

    1. Hello, thanks for you question! Shoshanna is making the distinction that when she thought she was saved she was putting her confidence in everything she did to prove her salvation to herself. But praise God, salvation is not based on what we do. It is solely based on what Jesus has done for us! We can rest completely in the finished work of Christ.

  2. I was raised by a Christian mother and thought I was Christian cuz I believed all the Bible stuff I was taught etc. Well, I finally got saved at the age of 32, just over 2 years ago! Bam! Child of God. Eyes opened. Soaked up Scripture like crazy and just saw Jesus Jesus Jesus written all over it! I was so mad that my mom had presumed I was saved all these years. I had been a broken, hurt, bound self-righteous girl all these years for nothing! I haven't seen her in person since then cuz she is in South Africa and we are in Australia 🙁 . Praise the Lord for sparing my life before I was born again! And now I can share His awesome love and salvation to my 4 kids! I LOVE JESUS!!!

  3. Hi. I am confused. I thought Mike Pearl taught faith alone saves. I didn't think he taught the sinners prayer or to ask forgiveness of sins? Shoshanna said she asked God into her heart. I did that myself hundred times. Thankfully I hit bottom and finally turned to Jesus and quit relying on that stupid prayer. Than I started going to my church and my Pastor said that he said that prayer many times. He finally opened his Bible and realized that there is no prayer Jesus or Apostle Paul says to pray for salvation. It is only faith in Jesus and what he has done for you that saves you. Our website http://www.fmpbc.net. I had so hoped that Michael Pearl believed in only faith and not the sinners prayer. I love the family articles and books! They have been such a help.