Unexpected Gifts

It’s Christmas season, which means holiday festivities and gift-giving will ensue in full force. In that spirit, I want to bring to mind the best gift-giver of all. James 1:17 says “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning”.
As someone who has made plenty of mistakes, it is kind of crazy to imagine that God Almighty would not only consider me worthy of gifts, but give me good and perfect ones. Unlike you and me, God genuinely gives, not being someone who is subject to change depending on circumstances. God’s responses may change but his nature certainly does not.
And what is His nature? Good. Just. Holy. Merciful. And, He is a rewarder of them that diligently seek Him. This is who He is. This is who He has not only declared Himself to be, it is who He has demonstrated Himself to be.
One of the many gifts that God gives to mankind is children.

I know this is a family oriented ministry, so that statement may seem expected. But I want you to stop and seriously consider that for a moment. Those kids of yours that sometimes will not sit still and be quiet while you are trying to listen to something important (or maybe you just need a moment’s rest)—are God’s gift to you. Those kids that tapdance on your very last nerve (I remember that phrase from my own childhood) and seem to not be responding to any and every strategy that you implement to improve their behavior—they are a gift from God…to you.
I was given not just one but two of those gifts about several years apart, in some of the least desirable circumstances. And frankly, they were given to one of the worst fathers for the job.
Even at my worst, I was never an abusive father. But I was something that can be just as destructive: an absentee father. I left the work of raising my daughters, teaching them, comforting them, and spending time with them to someone else.
Do you know what happens to most girls who grow up without their fathers or girls who grow up with a semi-present father that does not sufficiently value them? Those girls grow up feeling as if they have little or no value and seek validation in any other available source—sources that do not value them, but use them for their own selfish ends. Broken and hurt young daughters are the product of hurtful or neglectful fathers—and I was one.
As the years passed, my children and I grew more and more distant. As I continued to slip farther and farther into the abyss, we became little more than acquaintances. This was still better for them than a father that could not keep his promises or be physically or emotionally present. Kids need their parents…but they need sober and stable parents. No child should have to babysit their mother or father.
Then, eight years ago, something unexpected happened. Sitting alone in a jail cell, my life was changed forever—I was released: not released from my incarceration (that happened much later) but released from MYSELF. Jesus Christ saved me.
The bridges between myself and my kids were still lying broken and burned. But God is not only our Creator, he is also a restorer.
After several years had passed with only occasional phone calls and short text messages between my daughter and I, a small glimmer of hope appeared over the horizon: a family vacation.
My wife and her family—-now my family as well—were planning a family vacation to the mountains. If you have a large family, you understand the sheer magnitude and scope of such a venture. I invited both of my children to go with us, and to my surprise, my youngest daughter responded with an enthusiastic, “Yes!”
You know, it is an often surreal experience to work at a family ministry.
Almost everyone that you meet has grown up in a good home with both parents present, striving to bring their children up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Seeing the quality of those relationships and learning about their experiences is almost like reading a fantasy novel—it was not my experience and therefore foreign to me. Now, I get to experience that sort of family dynamic on a grand scale. To put it lightly, it has been a learning experience with a steep curve.
We had as much fun on the car ride into the mountains as we did on the trip itself! The icy distance between my daughter and I seemed to warm and thaw just a little bit, and we enjoyed our time together.
But coming home from a fun vacation is like waking up from a dream – it’s back to the daily grind of life. We continued to talk periodically but still saw each other only occasionally, until she began attending a youth group at the local church that I am a member of. When I left the office for the day, I would stop by and pick her up to take her to the youth group, as I went next door to preach.
I want to bring attention to one important point: I understand that when your relationships are strained and the lines of communication have been broken, any positive change is seen as a blessing. But if we are not careful, we can just “settle” for what we get. It’s common to think—“Hey, this is better than what I had! I will take it.” But in doing so, we sell God short. I would like to reiterate—not only is every good gift from above, every perfect gift is from above—and that standard of perfection is His, not ours.
After a few months of my daughter attending youth group, riding back and forth to church, (even having her attend a Sunday school class that I was teaching), the good gift got EVEN better.
One evening, after Bible study, the youth group leader and I were discussing several baptisms that would be taking place before Sunday morning service, and the list of the young people being baptized contained a surprise: my daughter’s name!
Traditionally, men do not like to admit fault, but I am not very traditional—I totally dropped the ball on this one. I did not know that my daughter had been saved. She had been studying the Bible on her own and became a believer and I, her dad, hadn’t even noticed!
It gets better. She asked me to baptize her.
For our relationship to go from hardly speaking to one another, to having the privilege of being able to baptize her is nothing short of a miracle—a miracle that I can take no credit for.
I want to make an important distinction: God did not do it for me because I am good but because He is. He is a rewarder, remember? His gifts are perfect just like his timing.
There is a lot more to the story, and there is more being written every day.
I honestly have no idea where the story is going, but I do trust who is writing it.

Until next time,
~The Man of God at Large