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We Say Good Morning

June 15, 2011

Live and learn.

Five-year-old Jeremiah stayed with us for four days while his parents attended a funeral out of state. He is a very sound sleeper. Nothing wakes him once he goes out. Just tell him to lie down and in one minute he goes bye bye. But he sometimes wets his bed during the night, so his mother has him sleep in an absorbent garment made for older kids who wet themselves.

The first morning, as he got up and was stepping out of his pull up diaper, I said, “Did you wet yourself?” As he pushed his absorbent garment to the floor he said, “Na” and walked off. But then I smelled something awful. Picking it up I said, “Yea, you peed on yourself; better go wash up.”

Something similar took place the next two mornings, as well. On the fourth morning, he got up without me noticing and was coming from the bathroom. I said, “Did you wash yourself off?”

“Yeah, I washed my butt.”

“Well, your butt is not enough; you need to wash all over.”

“Naah, that’s enough.”

“You need to wash the front, too; I can smell you.”

“It’s okay; it doesn’t stink.”

“You might not be able to smell it, but I can, and it stinks.”

And then he said, “At my house we say good morning.”

At first I thought he had changed the subject, and then it dawned on me that he was rebuking me for not beginning the day with good fellowship as his parents do at home. Apparently they don’t rag him about his bed wetting. Wow! Shut my mouth! Live and learn.


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19 comments on “We Say Good Morning”

  1. Firstly I would like to say that I wholeheartedly agree with all but two things that I have seen of what the Pearls have ever written. Including being free from sin, which is a huge "hot potato!" NGJ has been an immense blessing to me over the past 20 years in bringing up my 5 kids (now 9-22) and in my marriage. Other than the fact that I agree with women wearing headcovering in Church, there is only one other thing that I disagree with and it is this. It is just that, I was potty trained early and was a bed wetter till at least 8, as were my two brothers, so I did not potty train my kids till they were about 3 years. Not one of them then wet the bed, apart from a couple of initial accidents. I just think that it is possible (and this has also been borne out by many examples of friends children) that if a baby/child is not ready, then it can give them problems later. Just my four penneth. 😀

  2. Eleanor - just my two cents. I have five children, all potty-trained now. It so happens that the son who potty-trained the last, also happened to wet the bed the longest. It was a physical problem that fixed itself when he was 9. Just some food for thought for our poor bed-wetters who can't do anything about it and wish they could. 🙂

    1. Our youngest was a bed wetter. This was new to me. But first we took him to the doctor and did some research (don't you love the 'net??) and learned there are books out there and pad that help shut off this value with lots of love, training and prayer. Please be kind to your kids while going through this stage. My little guy would get so upset like he did something wrong. I would almost cry when he would tell me to feel the wet spot on his bed while he stood there crying. I told him God was helping us and it was like having a newborn all over again with the pad changing but he was a trooper!! It began going away (I have a chart to prove it) and he received a sticker almost daily! He was so happy. Then it was once a month, then every few months... then sparingly... then gone!!! We thanked God and are grateful. We did notice that if he drinks late in the evening he has a good chance wetting the bed... ( me --> "duh!")

      The book we used is The Complete Bedwetting Book by D. Preston Smith.

      We purchased the book and two pads (the ones used in the hospital) and the alarm pad he laid on. Oh, and if they are upstairs or downstairs get a cheap monitor or borrow one.

      I hope that helps! God bless.

  3. well, I must say this one hits close to home. 🙂 Speaking as a former bed-wetter, I can relate to Jeremiah. My mom wasn't one to pester me about my nightly accidents, though I was fully aware how inconvenient it was for her to have to wash bedclothes every day. My older brother, however, was quite vocal. I have vivid memories of waking up and being teased about it over a bowl of Cheerios. Now, I hold no bitterness, and I certainly haven't suffered permenant psychological damage from being teased by my brother, but it was unpleasant at the tiem. My hope is to teach my children to be kind to their siblings on this and every other issue. Maybe its children, and not just parents, who need to learn to just say "Good morning".

  4. I remember Debi telling a story a while back about a little girl who used to wet the bed until she was about 8 or 9 years old. Her mother did not belittle her or gripe at her, but instead gave her towels every night until the problem took care of itself. I took that advice and have used it on my daughter these last couple of years. She just turned 10 this month, and only stopped wetting the bed a couple of months ago. I just asked her about it two days ago, and she proudly told me she is a big girl now and is done with that! I smiled and praised her, and we laughed and tickled before she went to sleep. BTW, she was potty trained at 22 months, even through the night, so it was very hard for me to hold back when this started happening later in her life.
    My 8 year old son still wets his bed, too. His time will come soon. Until then, we do alot of washing! 😉

  5. Oh, my! You had me laughing out loud on this one! We adults can learn so much from children! Michael, I'm sure we've all said that you're sometimes too bold and that you're a bit rough around the edges, but the one thing we can count on is the sharing of Truth (along with healthy doses of honesty)! We all have so much to learn - and it can often be from the mouths of babes, if we will only listen! Thank you again for being intuitive and sharing it with the rest of us!

  6. Hi there Natalie,
    I totally agree and believe that all kids are individual. Having been a bed-wetter I do have every sympathy. My point was only that, if a child is not quite ready, then perhaps early potty training, i.e. before 3 years, can possibly produce problems later on, so I chose to leave it for all of mine. Eleanor. 🙂

  7. It is always best to start the day with a smile regardless of whether or not a child has wet the bed the night before. Every family has different methods of potty training so long as it does happen and every child is different in how long it takes or what age it happens. Just love them and accept them as they are and never make them feel inferior because of potty issues. Start the day on a happy note:-)

  8. Why wasn't he spanked? You had to tell him three times to go wash himself and he still didn't go. In "To Train Up a Child" you say that failure to obey immediately is the same as disobeying and that children should be trained not to have to be told to do something more than once. This boy clearly should have received a spanking for failure to obey.

  9. I didn't stop wetting the bed until I was 11. (I think puberty stopped it!) I have allergies and chemical sensitivities. I always really appreciated the fact that my Mum was supportive. Never disciplined or lectured me for bed wetting. And for the the people trying to say Michael should have belted his grandson. Get a life! I have no doubt that Michael has grown in his child training beliefs since he wrote that book. Sometimes discipline is needed, he obviously didn't feel that this four year old was needing discipline. Sometimes they do need it, sometimes reasoning... Personally I believe corporal discipline should be the last resort, not the first!

  10. @ Livvy---Although the end is cute, I completely agree! My 3 year old, whom is potty trained, wets the bed and we always start off with a good morning but get washed up immediately after. Period. No back talk is allowed for any reason at my house, his aunts, or grandparents. 🙂

  11. Oh, I don't think the end was supposed to be 'cute'! I think the point was that 'out of the mouths of babes' comes perspective! This child wasn't being rude, just honestly stating something he noticed, in his four-year-old way. I'll take perspective over perfect training and outcome any day!

  12. I don't think that I can buy diapers for another 5 years. My son is four and I am struggling really bad right now with him still wetting I put trash bags on my couch so that when he would fall asleep on the couch he wouldn't soak it with urine.

  13. @ Livvy and Candiauce: There is a BIG difference between having an honest conversation and backtalking/disobedience! Many times the clue is the tone of the child and their general attitude.
    If Michael ended that conversation with: "now, go wash yourself", or something similar and got arguing as a response, that would be backtalking and disobedience. If we want to have not only obedient children, but also children, who are healthy and not afraid to voice their opinion in a respectful manner (tone, attitude, use of words), we need to be willing to be open to honest conversation and have the discernment, when the child is being open and when they are being defiant! Otherwise, we will just bring up obedient robots, who behind our backs will have whole lives we will not know about, because the children will learn to be compliant on the outside but very duplicitous in general.

  14. Research suggests that if a child is not night "potty trained" by the age of 6, the chances that he/she will become night dry are reduced rapidly every year following. We purchased an alarm that goes inside the undies and sounds at the first drop and I mean first drop of wetness. The first 3 days my son's brain didn't register that this alarm was important or meant anything. WE would hurry and get him up to finish peeing in the toilet. This happened 2 or 3 times per night for 3 nights. Then he was night dry completely with no accidents after 2 more weeks. I think the alarm sounded once a night on 2-3 nights during the two weeks following the first three nights. However, he was waking up by himself and halfway to the bathroom by the time we got to him. It was such a huge relief, but not without work on our part too. The brain must learn to process the signals the bladder sends! Sometimes it needs a little extra help. My son would have been mortified to be wetting the bed at age 8 or 10 and especially any older than that. I know there are some special medical cases, but probably most kids' brains haven't made the "connection" yet. Good luck all! And, I was surprised and somewhat offended to read the term "rag" used in the context in which I hear teenagers using it. Just my opinion.

  15. The bedwetting is a touchy subject in my house. As a mom of 3, I found that stopping liquids after supper to be helpful. Also, don't allow children to drink lots of fluids during the day, unless they are outside most of the day. Even, still, give them a drinking schedule, say a glass of water every 45min-1 hour, (For example). Make sure to get them up at least twice a night and give them a very loud, annoying alarm clock that wakes them at those times so they will learn to go during the night on their own. With more than one night-wetter, get them up at the same time- like the buddy system. For young children, DON'T buy pull-ups for the night. Save your money! Place a thick shower curtain under the sheets to save the mattress and your money. If they have an accident, make them change their own sheets and teach them to launder their own bedding. Also, use soap and water to clean the urine off the shower curtain. Do this first thing in the morning, after their bath. Excusing clean up until the end of the day will make the entire house stink! A few times of the child doing so shows the importance of self-sufficence and responsibility. Lastly, be encouraging. Don't nag and shame the child. It is important to their self-worth to know that mistakes happen, but let them know its not ok to NOT fix them. Bedwetting, in my experience, is the last step in potty training...even if the child is 5,6, or 7. Some children are just heavier sleepers than others or simply more stubborn.