When I was a young woman, the older women were always teaching me and all the other young women what it meant to be a wife, a mother, and a God-honoring woman. As I have gotten older, traveled to many churches, and talked with families, I have seen one overall theme everywhere I go. There are young women walking with God, trained from childhood to serve God so that one day they will make the best wives and mothers possible. They are ready, trained, and waiting for their man to come find them, but the men are not finding them. Why?
These girls are told to wait: He will find you... Stay home and help Mom with the kids... One day that perfect man will come along. But then he does not come and the girls become frustrated and, at times, impatient. The question I hear all the time is, “Where are the men?” Yes there are men, but few are real men—men who were raised to love God, work hard, and make good husbands and fathers. Why?
While mothers have been training their daughters to be good wives, many families stopped raising their sons to be men, instead producing overgrown boys. A large percentage of the boys/men over the last 30 years have been raised to serve the flesh. They were not raised to work; most are soft, sweet-talking, sissy boys. Some are cute and stylish, and silly girls think they are soooo good-looking. Other guys are backward, clumsy, going-nowhere types, and very uncool. But they are the same lazy, self-pleasing, big boys.
It is a very sad truth and I am sorry for you girls out there. I am guilty of telling girls to be patient, that he will come, to just serve God and wait for him to bring a husband. But the truth is there just might not be a man out there that God thinks is worthy of you. As a single girl, you can serve God. But as a married woman, you are told to serve your husband so he can better serve God.
“There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband.” (1 Corinthians 7:34).
I know this is not what you want to hear, but God calls each of us to serve him first. For some of you it will be by serving your husband someday, but for others it might be serving God as a single girl. Start serving the Lord, and if God sees fit to bring you a husband, serve him with just as much joy as you served God in your unmarried state.
A Desperate Call to the Fathers Out There Raising Sons
Now as a mother with daughters, I would like to put out an appeal to all the families raising sons. Please teach them to work, love God, and be men—not big boys—so that when my daughters and other families’ daughters are grown, they can serve God through a God-fearing man. My husband and I are raising two little men of our own now. Parker is well on his way to being a man, and our new little one will soon be following in his footsteps. They say boys will be boys. I say little men will be big men.
Tip for moms raising sons:
Create a chart with your sons chores on it. Instead of mom bossing him around all day telling him what to do, creating tension and stress; he can be a man completing his own responsibility.