In Search of a Help Meet Clip from Chapter 5

Transcription (edited)

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Announcer:  Are you a fool? Honestly seeking and following God's will without despising instruction is key to safely navigating your search for a help meet.

Nathan Pearl:  A warning: "A fool despises his father's instruction. But he that regardeth reproof is prudent" (Proverbs 15:5) Some of my readers are fools. Not my words; note the passage above. You have heretofore been in bondage to your church and your parents, and you celebrate the concept that you are now at liberty to act independently of their counsel, because you know they are not spiritually minded and wise.

You exalt yourself above all counsel, and latch on to that which justifies your foolishness. You have always despised instruction, and are likely to go on doing so. The fact that your parents may not be wise and your church may be selfish, and the grim truth that no one can tell you God's will for your life, does not mean that you can just do whatever you want, and it will be right.

As your parents do not have divine right to dictate to you the will of God, you have no right to expect God to bless your choices unless you choose what he has already chosen for you. There are many paths to ruin. Someone can choose it for you, or you can choose it for yourself.

Only divine wisdom can lead you in the way you should go. I wish I had words that could cause you to see the error in your thinking, but I do not. I would be tempted to do what many have done, to create a system of betrothal designed to save fools from their folly.

But then I and then the people in control would be responsible for the outcome. I don't have enough faith in myself to make such an important choice for you. I know this is sounding grim, downright scary. But if you could read just for one month the letters I receive, you would lose your self‑confidence and your confidence in any system or person to choose your perfect help meet.

I can give you a thousand testimonies of marvelous success, but they do not diminish the many tragedies. It is my heart to save you now rather than having to write a book to you later, trying to put Humpty-Dumpty back together again.

Don't go away discouraged; the book is not over. There are bright things to come; hope is in the air. All things are possible in Christ.

A warning against hormones

Hormonally driven guys can fall in love with a girl just by seeing her picture. That is like prospecting for gold, and the first hole you fall into you stake your claim, call it a gold mine, and start digging. Good feelings and great passion do not mean there is compatibility. And when the guy gets the hots for the girl, he will not welcome negative criticism. He is sure pure bliss awaits him in her lovely arms.

“How could anything that feels so good be wrong? We were made for each other!” I have news for you. All girls are made for all guys. It is a simple matter of plumbing and hormones waiting for opportunity. I have seen a hottie walk into a room and watched every man there fall in love.

If you are searching for a help meet and you don't distrust yourself, you are a self‑inflicted tragedy planning your own demise.

I know that sounds cold and cynical to you young and romantic guys who are swept along by storybook idealism. But there will come a time when you are too in love, horny, to listen to your own brain, much less to your parents or friends. Don't wait until the heat of battle to prepare defenses against your brainless flesh. Determine right now not to believe your body and your romantic emotions when you are swept into a vortex of passion and desire. Determine to rely only on your reason. Set some rules for yourself before your feel the heat.

I can't help but think that I am wasting my time and good paper on most of you guys. Once a tree starts falling, it is too late to decide where you want it to land. You must save yourself. No one else can. Most of you have parents who understand what I'm saying, though they might not be able to frame it in words. That is why they get so frustrated and crazy with many of your decisions. They see you soaked in flammables and looking for a flame to warm yourselves.

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Announcer: Thank you for listening to this excerpt from In Search of A Help Meet. As always, remember to check out the current specials on our audiobooks and more.