In Search of a Help Meet Part - 7

Transcription (edited)

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Announcer:  So he had found a girl that was praying to marry a missionary, but what could Joshua do now from the other side of the world? Joshua's story continues from chapter 3 of In Search of A Help Meet.

Nathan Pearl:  Further inquiry revealed that not only was Kelsey praying to marry a missionary, she had been on many mission trips herself. She had served in Taiwan and Mexico and she was fluent in Spanish. Due to a long standing personal conviction, I knew that my next step was to contact Kelsey's father, Danny. To me, it was imperative that this be accomplished without Kelsey's knowledge in case things did not work out. I wanted to be able to make a quiet exit without damaging her emotionally.

But there was a practical problem. I did not have the ability to make outgoing calls on my phone from Thailand. As I discussed the matter with my parents via email, we determined that the best solution would be for my father to contact Kelsey's father.

Although I do not have a transcript of that conversation, I do remember experiencing a measure of concern as I imagined it in advance, the major components of which I foresaw went something like this.

My father picks up the receiver, dials the number for the Powell household, the phone rings, the man answers, "Hello."

"Yes, may I speak with Danny Powell, please?"

"This is Danny."

"Hi, Danny. My name is Mike Steele. You don't know me and I don't know you, but my daughter, Jennifer has met your daughter, Kelsey. Anyway, I'm actually calling on behalf of my son, Joshua. You don't know him, either. He's a missionary to Ukraine, but he's currently working in Thailand. He's interested in beginning a relationship with your daughter Kelsey, whom he also doesn't know. He wanted to contact you about this without Kelsey knowing, but he can't make calls out of Thailand, but he can email. He wanted to know if he can send you an email about starting a relationship with Kelsey."

I imagined silence and then click. Who was I kidding? What father in his right mind would even listen to such an absurd request? Despite my wavering faith, it turns out God was moving after all. Danny was very much in his right mind and he was very willing to listen.

After the two fathers got off the phone, I received the go ahead to send my introductory email. Scarcely able to believe that this was all happening, I composed a simple message in which I introduced myself, gave a very brief explanation of my work as a missionary and explained my desire to get to know Kelsey in a courtship relationship with the goal of marriage in mind should the Lord so direct.

I stressed my respect for the fact that Kelsey was his daughter and he was her God‑ordained head, and that I was ready to proceed in whatever way and at whatever place he desired. Then I hit send and waited. A positive reply arrived soon thereafter and Danny and I began our correspondence.

Dating the Dad?

In our modern culture, many Christian young men scoff at the idea of contacting a girl's father before pursuing a relationship with her. After all, she is an adult. Let her make her own decision. While I realize that there may be exceptions, my position to this day remains the same. If at all possible, ask Dad first.

The benefits of such an approach are numerous, and in my case, though a bit nervous initially, I never regretted for a moment my decision to correspond with Kelsey's father before making my intentions known to her.

When Danny and I began emailing I had no idea what to expect, but I knew that for now Kelsey was under his jurisdiction and if I wanted a chance at winning her heart, I first needed to obtain Danny's permission.

I invited him to proceed at his own pace, to ask whatever questions he wanted and to take whatever steps he felt were necessary in order to assure himself that I was ready and able to love, lead and provide for his daughter in marriage.

Our early emails were largely composed of basic facts about our two families. He asked many questions about my upbringing and ministry. In turn, he also told me a lot about their family. Far from the extended grilling that I had feared, I found that Danny and I actually got along quite well. He was very positive and encouraging.

As I would later learn, Danny had felt strongly for a couple of months that God was about to bring Kelsey's life partner onto the scene and he had been waiting. From the time he read my first email, he strongly sensed that this courtship was God's design.

I think that it is no coincidence that of all the players in this particular courtship drama, it was Kelsey's father who was the first to be convinced in his heart that this was a marriage made in heaven. Before I even knew the name Kelsey Powell, God had impressed upon Danny that the time was near.

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