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Mail Bag - Habits Thumb Sucker

By Michael Pearl

Transcription

[intro music]

Announcer:  Lots of kids develop bad habits. This week, Vintage Answers presents the Pearls' advice on how to handle those habits in a healthy way.

Debi Pearl:  OK, here's another letter. It says, "Hi, I just found your book 'To Train a Child' and I love it. I have a question concerning a child, a three‑year‑old little boy who sucks his fingers for comfort. We have limited it to just allowing it at nap time and at bedtime after trying to limit it altogether. But still, when he gets in trouble, he resorts to it. We've been using the rod to deal with it, but I'm not sure we ought to. Maybe we should be ignoring it. Any answers, please?"

Michael Pearl:  I certainly wouldn't use the rod on a child for sucking his finger. I wouldn't use the rod for a child going to the bathroom in his pants or anything like that. That's not an act of rebellion. That's not an attitude problem. It's not disobedience. It's not something that the judgment should fall on. It's a habit that a lot of kids carry over. I've seen 10, 12, and 14‑year‑olds sucking on their fingers. And I've seen some adults that I thought about suggesting it to if they needed some kind of comfort. So I certainly wouldn't spank a child for that.

Now, it's an annoying habit. Socially, it's kind of embarrassing to have your big old kid sitting there in church, four or five years old, and his thumb stuck in his mouth or sucking on a finger. It's kind of nasty looking, and so it's a trait we'd like to get rid of, obviously. But not something worthy of breaking fellowship with a child or spanking the child over.

Now, one way I've seen parents eliminate thumb‑sucking or finger sucking is without rebuking the child, just reach up and pull the hand out of the mouth. Just do it all the time, all day long. Just say, "No, don't do that. That's nasty, you'll get germs," or something to that effect. Don't make it a character trait.

Just say, "That's unclean. You're too old for that now," and pull the hand out of their mouth. Now, of course, people have tried things like putting pepper on the finger, but one person ended up getting pepper in the kid's eye. Some people have tried taping their fingers with surgical tape ‑ what do you call that tape? Adhesive tape?

And then, putting a little pepper or something on the adhesive tape or garlic, something that tastes strong and bitter, and of course that will work. That will keep them from sucking on their finger. If it's only a problem when they sleep, maybe you could put gloves on him when he sleeps. Tape the glove down or something like that. Have you got any ideas, Deb?

Debi:  I know what one family told us, is they were just as cheerful as they could be about the situation, but every time they saw the child, they would just remove the hand from the mouth and say, "Stop," but not in a commanding, demanding way. Just a, "Stop." And over a period of three or four weeks, the child just would automatically take his hand out of his mouth whenever he saw anybody and get the whole family cooperating. It's just a fast, simple way of dealing with the situation.

Same thing when they sleep. Just simply remove the hand from the mouth as soon as they go to sleep and then when you get ready to go to bed, go in and see if it's back in their mouth and take it out and just keep that process up until the habit is becoming less and less.

Michael Pearl:  Just use your own ingenuity. Figure out some way to do it, but the important thing is don't make it an issue that's going to make the child feel inadequate, unloved, feel like they're a bad person. We have enough things come up in life that really are bad, that really are character problems that you're going to have to deal with. Don't confuse the issue at this early age.

Announcer:  Well, that wraps up this week's archives. We hope you found it as encouraging as we did. Don't forget to check out the specials at Cane Creek Corner.

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3 comments on “Mail Bag - Habits Thumb Sucker”

  1. Thank you for this article! My daughter is almost 4 and has been sucking her thumb since she was a baby. We have never made a big deal out of it. We know if we do it will make her want to suck it even more and maybe even hurt her feelings. We are going to start trying your suggestions right now! Thanks so much. God Bless.

  2. Our families really depised my oldest child's sucking his thumb. They even had a little rhyme, "When you're four, thumb no more," but it was not until he was five that we finally got him to stop.

    God gave us some wisdom. I decided to set a goal for him. I asked him what he would like and he wanted a big ball. So I told him for each day he did not suck his thumb he would get a certain about of money toward his ball. I tied a little ribbon around his finger to help him to remember not to suck it. Everyday I would watch him, especially at nap time. Many days at naptime his hand would be right at his mouth, but his thumb would not go in. Finally several weeks later he earned enough money for his ball. Of course, I did not realize those balls were seasonal items and there were none to be found! The Lord provided a ball through a friend that had an extra one!

    Now, four children later, I have another thumb sucker. Those in between did not suck anything. So, I am hoping for an end to her habit as well. I wish it could be before she turns five but if she ever stops I guess that would be the best blessing.

    It is good to remember that, "the hand of the diligent shall bear rule" (Proverbs 12:24). If we want to rule these habits we must be diligent to end them, like the Pearls were saying above, by keeping the hands out of the little ones' mouths. So maybe if I am diligent this time my child can get to four and not suck her thumb any more. 🙂

  3. I once saw a grown woman sucking her thumb in Church. When her hands were clasped in pray she did it then also. So, you don't have to limit the discussion to 5 year olds.