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Preparing to Be a Help Meet - Part 10

By Debi Pearl and Kristen Victory

Transcription (unedited)

Kristen Victory:  Save your firsts for your man. This Cinderella chose to honor her husband before she met him.

Chapter 12. "Cinderella"

Chapter 12 Prelude. "They that wait upon the Lord."

Moral to the story. "One of the sweetest things you'll ever know will be those intimate things you learned together."

A caution. "A first time is the only first time. Once lost, it is forever gone."

Enough with the sad stories, now let's consider a girl whose love story is so special, she calls herself "Cinderella". Are firsts important to men? What do I mean by first?

Your first kiss is a first, your first true love, the first guy you take home to meet grandma, or maybe your first night in bed with a man. Every first is a moment of awakening. The man who truly loves you will treasure these first moments you give to him and him alone.

Will you save your first for him? "God told us people to bring the first fruits to him." Exodus 23: 16‑19. Why? Because they are very special. When you save yourself for your man, he will know you are giving him your best.

Cinderella Story five by David and Lia Spina.

Who should I date and marry? Are my standards too high? Is God really in control? Will I ever get married? My husband and I wish we could sit down with each of you over a cup of coffee, look at you straight in the eye, and answer these questions with zeal, being the right one.

Growing up, I had a beautiful blonde friend that had a new guy every time I saw her. On one hand, I wished I had a guy at my side. On the other, I wondered what the single guys thought when they saw her with so many guys.

My mother had read me a book called "Beautiful Girlhood" when I was a girl, and I always remembered one sentence about boyfriends; be reserved and careful.

Though you do not seem so popular as the forward giddy girl who is always cutting up with the boys, you will have the respect of the best boys and young men, and she will not.

From that moment on, I started to realize that I was building my reputation as someone's future wife. Someday my husband will either be honored or dishonored by my conduct as a single woman. "She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life." Proverbs 31: 12.

Did you realize that during your single years you are building your reputation as a wife? It was always hard for me to picture flirty guys as faithful husband.

Remember that dating around for fun affects the way people view you. They will associate you with those you date. Even if you have no serious intentions, you are giving signals about who you are.

When I was single, I heard a teaching by Tommy Nelson on how to find a godly spouse. He asked how we expect to find a wonderful Christian spouse when all we do is go to church, and go to work, and go to an occasional happy hour.

He said run fast and hard after Jesus and look to the left or the right, and marry the person who is at your side. That made sense to me. "All the ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct the paths." Proverbs 3:6

Most girls thought of fat list of credentials and want to marry a sold out godly man, but few of us have taken the log out of our own eye. What kind of girl would he marry?

I spent my time before meeting David finishing my degree, going on mission trips, bible studies, and working with pregnant teenage girls.

Remember, you will never regret any time you spent on your relationship with the Lord and Ministry for the Lord. You are building faith and character to take into your marriage, to bless your husband and future children, and your husband will be thankful if you don't bring debt into your marriage. "So work as unto the Lord."

David flew to Papua New Guinea for two‑month mission trip with orphans when he was 13 years old. He felt directed to start building business to support and serve orphans worldwide. He graduated with a finance degree, started his business, and also volunteered with the youth at his Church.

As far as dating, David didn't look to the left or right. If she was not marriage‑material, why date her? He was already honoring his future wife while many of his friends were dating around all throughout high school, college, and afterwards.

After 27 years of waiting, David was the first guy I took to Church, the first guy I took to a wedding, and the first guy I brought home to thanksgiving dinner. Each first was like a special present I have saved for him.

Once you realize a man is going to be your husband, you will wish you had not given any guy in your past any attention at all. When I met David's friends, they all said the same thing, "Lia, you have the greatest guy in the whole world. David has waited for you a longtime. We tried to set him up but he would not even give other girls the time of day. You must be one special girl."

How awesome that David had honored me all those years. I felt like a celebrity. "Draw an eye to God and He will draw an eye to you." James 4:8

Your single years are your unique opportunity to grow in your relationship with the Lord, preparing you to enter marriage with a solid faith. You won't have to totally depend on your spouse for your faith. Some of my sweetest times with the Lord were during my single years.

Once you marry, you will never again have that complete dependence with the Lord. We all have a friend who cannot be single. They should always have someone. But I would encourage you to relish this time with just you and the Lord.

For since the beginning of the world, man has not heard nor perceived ear, neither hath the eyes seen. "Oh God, beside thee he hath prepared for him that waited for him." Isaiah 64:4.

When it is time to enter a relationship, you will know him, and be able to discern if this is His will.

Thank you for listening to this excerpt from preparing to be a help‑meet.

As always remember to check for specials on this and other audio books on our website.

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One comment on “Preparing to Be a Help Meet - Part 10”

  1. This is so good, I wish i had known this when I was a teen. I was raised by a single mom who downtalked men all my life, she hoped, I guess, my sister and I would never develop interests in marriage. Men were no good bums, etc, etc. But somehow neither of us believed her and experimented, but still didn't have any good idea about how to be chaste or why. I learned all my social skills from books because my human models were all so damaged. There was a dearth of good books on dating for adults except those written by secular women, who gave the secular advice to hold out for 3 months. Most dating books, correction , all Christian dating books at that time were geared toward teens under their parents' roofs so had little that was applicable in my eyes. (I didn't get saved till I was 31). Finally, at 41 I met a sweet Christian man, divorced, as most available men of that age were bound to be. And we deliberately chose not to kiss until our wedding, because we both knew by then what that would lead to and we both wanted to do it "right" this time. A little late, but it was a good rewarding decision. We are married 11 years now and still in love and having fun. So uch good advice for the young, but the retreads need to know all is not lost.
    Also had I known that the alabaster box of precious oil was actually a Jewish tradition of allowing only their first husband to open as a symbol of their virginity- also learning about blood covenants, that the breaking of the hymen is also the sealing of a covenant. Had I known the preciousness of it years before I would have understood why it was special- but my fetal alcohol Mom didn't know these things. So we did the best we could.