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Preparing to Be a Help Meet - Part 7

By Debi Pearl and Kristen Victory

Transcription (unedited)

Announcer:  What happens when a girl lacks patience? These three ladies have stories that may give you pause for thought.

Kristen Victory:  Chapter 10 Antsy Babes. Chapter 10 Prelude, Learning Patience. Moral to the story ‑‑ patience is crucial even when a little pressure is kind, polite, and thoughtful, it is still taking control. A caution ‑‑ desperation leads to becoming a grabber. Some of the following negative stories are depressing, but necessary for your admonition.

Don't lose heart, for as painful as it may be, there is nothing more influential than seeing the pain someone else experienced having traveled the road that diverges from yours.

I hope these stories open your eyes so that you can see pitfalls to avoid, and so, you can find the bridge to a good life.

Case number one. The Antsy Babe.

Rosemary was 21. She loved working at her full‑time creative job and she enjoyed her various weekend ministries. She even went on mission trips occasionally. Rosemary was not a grabber or a hidden flower. She had met many possible guys, but one man really stood out as being a super dude. He wasn't tall, dark, or handsome. He was cool, smart, and in control.

On occasion, he came into town and dropped in on her family. Rosemary loved it when he visited because she and super dude really hit it off. They'd talk for hours about everything from politics to Bible doctrine. But, Mr. Super Dude never seemed to progress from being a friend to possibility, or even better, a probability.

Then, Mr. Super Dude wrote her on Facebook. OK, progress. After much writing, visiting, more writing and another visit, Mr. Super Dude still said not a word of anything personal. How good of a friend does a man need to be before he progresses?

Rosemary was frustrated. Had she invested her energies in a shadow? Why did he make a point of writing her, visiting her family, but never gave any indication of interest? They were both old enough, so, duh!

She got antsy. Then, she began to stew, fume, and talk with friends, trying to decipher if he might be interested. She finally got angry. What she wasn't was patient. "He is not going to keep me hanging on," she fumed.

Rosemary developed a serious case of female pride. She wrote Mr. Super Dude and told him in a very nice way that a man should be either be serious or not become good friends with the girl. After Rosemary's letter, Rosemary no longer has a friend, a probability and certainly, not a possibility.

Will Super Dude bide in his time until he had always ducks in a row like the Italian prince who waited until he finished college and was financially stable? We will never know. Neither will Rosemary.

Case number two. An Old Antsy Babe.

A mature, older woman had been single for a number of years. She decided to try an online match‑making site to find a match. She was offered a match and talked online with a very nice, older gentleman with whom she enjoyed corresponding.

They were cautious, only writing once a week and then, keeping their correspondence strictly non‑personal. He began to call occasionally. "Oh, it was a bliss hearing his voice." The friendship seemed to be progressing just fine, but, weeks passed into months and still Old Joe showed no interest in taking the friendship up a level. Then, he missed a few weeks of calling and didn't write for a while.

The sweet, gentle Miss Oldie fretted. "Why doesn't Old Joe write or call? Has something happened?" She impatiently waited a few more weeks before she wrote asking if everything was all right. "I hope you're not ill or anything. I was concerned."

Old Joe wrote that everything was just dandy. He had just been down a little. Miss Oldie felt better about waiting for another couple of weeks. Then, she got very antsy. Whoa, hold your horses, Miss Oldie! Nothing has been promised. There is no understanding. He owes you nothing. Don't demand he state his intentions.

After another week, Miss Oldie had had enough. She thought, "I would rather know that he is not interested so that I can go on with my empty life."

She wrote Old Joe a very polite, dignified letter. It was easy for the old guy to read between the lines. He had been married before and knew when a woman was telling him what to do and when to do it. He grinned and waited another month before responding. He wrote a polite, kind thanks‑but‑no‑thanks reply.

The moral of this story is patience is critical. Even when a push is kind, polite, and thoughtful, it still exerts pressure that a man instantly perceives as asserting control. One last story will show you there is more than one way to scare off a man.

Case number three. Antsy Gone Grabber.

Women have numerous ways of taking control. Many men are either weaklings or so sexed up, they simply don't care if the girl is mowing them down. Most good men will not put up with a girl who tries to leap frog his schedule. I want to tell you of a story of an antsy babe turned grabber, literally. Remember, desperation can turn even a fine girl into a grabber.

April was 22 years old and ready to get married. She had her wedding all planned ‑‑ dress, bridesmaids, food, flowers, the works. When Jacob came to her church, she pounced. He was just what she had always hoped for. Her eyes shot daggers at the other girls who eyeballed him, saying, "Don't you even think about him. He is mine."

That evening as Jacob walked back to the parking lot in the company of the rest of the church group, he was surprised to feel a soft arm wrap around his. He jerked his head around to see who had been so bold. He was shocked, speechless, when she squeezed in beside him in the car. Then, laid her hand across his thigh. His healthy hormones raised in the overdrive, forcing him to struggle to choke down the impulse to do some heavy smooching right in front of the fam. Yikes!

Alone in the bright lights of his private room, he reassessed the situation. It felt oh so good. It didn't really matter which of the many pretty girls it was that draped her arm across his leg and pressed her soft breasts against his arm. It was the female part that felt so good. He tried to place the face that went with the body. "Oh yeah, now, I remember. She is sweet, but I don't really know her."

Of course, now, it would be difficult for him to get to know her, because his flesh had been stirred to the point his mind and soul would not function on a pure level. Not that she was a bad girl, he knew that. She just had no clue as to workings of manhood. He felt both drawn to her and repulsed by the guilt she caused in him. He liked what the flesh was feeling. It was heady that such a cute girl obviously thought he was such a dude, but he hated the feeling of losing control of his life.

He knew if she continued her fleshy pursuit, he might give in, wanting to marry her for the wrong reasons. That would mean that for the rest of his life, he would have a marriage built on the flesh alone.

Jacob did what a man has to do. "Flee also youthful lust but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart." 2 Timothy 2:22.

He quit a good paying job and left town. The girl waited for his email or text and watch Facebook. Nothing. I suspect he was a prophet since they are more likely to do the unexpected. A priestly man would have stayed in town, but just tried to stay hidden until the chase was over.

A king might have given her the evil eye or a rebuke. This prophet just ran, very biblical.

Announcer:  Thank you for listening to this excerpt from Preparing to be a Help Meet. As always, remember to check for specials on this and other audio books on our website.

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3 comments on “Preparing to Be a Help Meet - Part 7”

  1. Hey guys, Debi Pearl wrote in the introduction to Created to be His Help Meet that she told Michael she wanted to have his kids ("give him a little boy just like that") before he even proposed? He ran away and then came back, so I guess that all worked out for the best. I don't see how that is much different than some of these stories.