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Young Adults & Marriage - Part 7

By Michael Pearl

Transcription

Announcer:  How were the Pearl kids prepared to choose their spouses? This is practical advice.

Michael Pearl:  What is it that's going to give the child, the teenager, the ability [to choose]?

When my boys were 13, 14 years old, there was a homeschool family that moved into the community. The daddy was a preacher. They had 10 or 12 kids. They had a daughter that was half Polynesian of some sort. The mother was Polynesian, and the daddy was Caucasian. She was about the best looking creature running around on two legs you ever saw in your life at 12, 13 years old. You know how Polynesian girls look, don't you? I mean, she was outrageous; she really was, even at that age. My boys started getting dry mouths.

[laughter]

Michael:  I could see them playing or something, and she's walking across the bridge. [laughter]

Michael:  I could see it right away. I watched the girl a few times, and I said to them, "Boys, don't look at her. She's already sexually active. She's impure. Don't look at her."

I can remember, I think it was Gabriel, he was outraged. "How can you say that? That's judging. How can you judge a girl in that?" I said, "Take it from me. I've lived a long time. I know when a girl is already sexually active, and the girl's sexually active. She's not pure."

"Well, I just don't . . . " I had to kind of keep them apart, man, because it was a magnet drawing them. I could understand why. If I had been 13 or 14 years old, I'd have been the same way. I might have shot my daddy to get to her.

[laughter]

Michael:  Guys are just made that way. She was plum bad. When she was about 16 years old, we'd kept them apart, and they'd gotten a little older by then. When she was about 16, the boy who lived across the street from her—whose family was less than trash, like incest, just low-class, Tennessee white trash—she went walking with the guy, and she got a thing going with him and she got pregnant. She came to my wife, pregnant. They ended up living in a building about this big, with just boards that you could see through the cracks, on the property of the parents. No water and no sewer, no commode. Just a square shed, basically. She was pregnant and delivering her baby and the parents didn't care.

The other parents had thrown her out; her parents had discharged her. Deb went down to that shack and delivered her baby in some horrible weather. You remember the article, "Rats?" She was the rat, her and that other family. They were the homeschool rats.

Then Deb brought her to our house and she stayed in our house, recuperating from the birth. Our boys were living there, and they see the end result of sin. She wasn't pretty any more. I mean, she still was even more developed, older, and she was still a gorgeous human being. But she just somehow didn't look pretty, sitting there in the living room with her belly still kind of big, with bloody rags around and a baby and knowing who the father of the baby was.

The guy copulated with his stepmother as well, and that's what eventually in a couple of years, broke them apart, when the daddy on his side came after her one night, and then the mother came after him. He complied and she didn't, and they got into a fight over the situation.

Just because you start off as a homeschooler with a preacher as a daddy doesn't mean you're going to do well. She didn't have the wisdom to choose rightly. My boys saw that, and that's not the only thing. They saw in their lifetime, several dozen similar things. That creates wisdom. That says, "Just because they're good looking and just because they smile, doesn't mean life's going to turn out great. Just because you're in love, it doesn't mean everything's going to work out fine."

We talked to our kids all the time. From the time they were very small we would say, "Now, see that guy right there? What's wrong with him is that he did drugs when he was 16, 17 and he listens to rock music, and he plays video games. That's the reason he won't work and he's so poor. That's the reason when he came to work, he only worked three days and wouldn't come back to work, because he's not willing to suffer the pain of work. It was video games and rock music that brought him to that condition, and pot smoking."

When we were driving down the road and we’d see a drunk, we'd talk about how the drunk got in the condition he's in. But when we see any kind of sin anywhere, we'd talk about it. Talk about the steps that were involved in getting there. If we hear about something, we'd discuss it at the dinner table. My kids were raised thoroughly indoctrinated about the causes and effects and consequences of life and of choices that you make.

I don't think there's anything better to school them than that, than real-life examples. Now, you can't do that if you just protect them. You've got to get out and relate to the rest of the world. Now, what would be good is if, say, you've got a home church. Very protective, I'm all for that; four, five, six families, great.

Now, one day a week your home church needs to go out and find some worldly people to minister to. Your home church with your kids needs to go to a homeless shelter. Well, that's a great place to take them. Take them to a homeless shelter. Let them see a 20-year-old woman in a homeless shelter with three kids, with needle tracks in her arms. Let them see a drunk sitting outside the homeless shelter, waiting for dope and puking green slime all over his shirt. Let them see the consequences and witness to these people.

Show compassion on them, but let your kids see that life can turn out really bad if you don't make the right choices. Or maybe go from door to door in a poor, trashy community until you can get Bible study started, and let your kids go with you, and minister to other kids their same age.

You say, "I'd be afraid to." No. Let them know we're on enemy territory here. We're on hostile ground. They will be prepared; you prepare them. They will not be overcome, even if they see some very freaky stuff.

They see a couple of lesbians making out, that's all right. Just take them into the world, so that they know that there are consequences.

[music]

Announcer:  Thanks for listening. We hope this helps or encourages you in some way today. As always, remember to check out our ever-changing specials.

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