“My husband has a hard time with his temper and hits me occasionally. I have learned that I get hit if I ask him to do things that other men do as a matter of course. When I was pregnant with our first child, he punched me in the jaw because I had told him that I did not have the money for rent. When my baby was 15 days old, I received another beating for telling my husband that I had lined up a spot for us at the shelter for homeless families. I no longer suggest that the money he uses for cigarettes could be used for food; that brought another beating. When I mentioned that I would go to the food bank then, that also brought me a beating.

At year 4 of the marriage I went through a period of longing for the eternal comfort of death. I still have told no one in this town what happens at home, as I do not wish to bring my husband shame should he ever come to Christ and know these people, although I think they are figuring it out. I speak with him of him “sensitive” things in cars now, as it is harder for me to get hit in a moving vehicle.

So I am growing weary, and I am having a hard time keeping my secret. I am considering telling my pastor. At this time, I am contemplating leaving my husband even though he has said he would kill me if I ever did.

You can print this if you’d like. I no longer care if he reads it in the NGJ newsletter that we receive. I am prepared to die if my husband should decide to kill me, if that be God’s will. Being beaten regularly helps you to open your mind for sacrificing yourself unto God, for understanding Christ’s tribulations as he was beaten, for fully grasping the depth of love in His statement, “Forgive them Father, they know not what they do.”

Perhaps my death is what will bring him to the Lord. Please pray for me. Thank you so much for the newsletter and the books that have kept me from taking my own life these past years, and putting it into God’s when I have my times of despair.”

— A Reader

Michael answers:
You should not have to endure the beatings. Tell your pastor and the next time he leaves marks on you, call the law and have him arrested. If they allow him out on bail, get a peace bond where he will be arrested again if he comes near you. He needs to do jail time. When he is in prison, you can visit him and encourage him to repentance. Perhaps he will get saved and your marriage can become heavenly. If you have him arrested, be prepared to testify against him in court. You can have the attorney contact me and I will provide your email where you express the excessive abuse. It will carry much weight. Tell your best friends of the abuse. Tell them that you wrote me. You need evidence out there to support you.

Have you ever gone to the doctor with any wounds inflicted by him? Even if you are not prepared to go to the law right now, if he leaves a mark on you, go to the local health clinic and show them the marks. Get it documented. I have prayed that God will give you wisdom. God does not mean for you to suffer so. This goes beyond your duty to obey. His activity is criminal and should not go unpunished. Let me know how it all works out.

– Michael Pearl