I am teaching at a school and living with my parents and younger brother. I was making a cd of movies from Christmas a family member and the library showed all the movies saved onto our computer. It was quite by accident that I saw them because they were saved in another file but I was so upset that I deleted them from the computer and the recycle bin so they couldn't be viewed any more. But now I have no evidence of them (I am sure that they are my father's because I don't think my brother would know how to save them and my father had many other funny videos saved on the computer too.)
So my questions is, how should I approach this with my father, or do I need to have more evidence? I am shocked and disgusted and afraid of speaking to him, but I can't let this go on. I'm pretty sure my mom doesn't know, but I don't know if I should just talk to him privately or tell her first. He has denied many things before when my siblings or I have tried to talk to him about his alcoholism in the past. Of course I love him and am thankful for all the good he does, but I want to help him so that this sin doesn't destroy him. What would be your advice in this situation because I am really unsure of the right course. Thanks for listening and having this question/answer forum available!
Michael answers:
Speak to him alone and be simple. Just say, 'I found your dirty movies on the computer and deleted them. It made me ashamed that my father would do such a thing. I know you are not a Christian, but the day will come when you will stand before God and be judged. I pray that you will repent.’
I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth. 3 John 4
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This question is for Michael. I'm curious to know whether you have additional knowledge regarding the father in this situation (that he is not a professing or actual Christian) or if the assumption was made solely on the basis of there being evidence of sin (either past or present) in his life? Are you implying that the basis of one's salvation ("Christian" or not) is made on one's actions? Certainly a life of blatant unrepentant sin would bring one to question to legitimacy of one's heart commitment towards Christ. But I wonder if it is possible to confirm or deny a person's salvation when knowing nothing more about this person than he at one point struggled with pornography (a devastating sin). If this is the case, and you are correct, then based on the numbers of "Christian men" who struggle with pornography there are even fewer Christian men around than I thought. And based on the numbers of men who struggle with lust (which Christ condemns as equal to adultery)... it seems we are in a rather hopeless situation??
Alcoholism, porn, unrepentance, denial - First two aren't Christian traits, last 2 are incompatible with salvation. Agree with Michael - not a Christian. She said they had confronted him several times in past and he denied, not that alcoholism was in past.