Posted February 21, 2012

A Merry Heart
I Love this chapter! Fighting for your man! The more women I have talked to the more I realize that almost everyone that has been married for a few years has to fight for her man at least one time, if not more. I am not saying we have bad husbands, there are just women out there being used by Satan to pull at the flesh of our men. I for one love a fight where I know I will win and win big. I have been married for almost ten years now and I can say I have had to step on a couple girls once or twice. (My husband is sooo cute} Laugh. He loves it when I see a girl zooming in on him, for then I just zoom in on him even more to let them know, he is MINE.
This week, read the chapter, look up and study Joy and share with us what you learned. If any of you want to share a story of a time you had to fight for your man, I would love to hear about it. I will try to find time to write a story of my own.


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  1. Caralee

    I am still studying. I will answer soon!

    What about you other ladies? What have you learned?

    # February 27, 2012

    • Caralee

      Well, I haven’t finished my study on joy yet as I am going through each verse, but I can give some sense of what I am learning.

      Personally, I think keeping my man has more to do with my “conversation” than how other women treat them. If my attitude, my tone, my facial expressions, my actions, my reactions, what I say, what I don’t say is focused on loving and serving my husband so that he is built up and fully satisfied, then the other women have nothing to woo him with.

      I must say that a cheerful smile and attitude really affects everything I do. If I allow myself to be sad or upset for any reason…even a valid reason, it affects him greatly. He needs me to be stable emotionally, to always smile and be happy around him when he is home, and when I am at home with our children. He wants to know that I am able to have a good day and he is coming home to a happy home. An unhappy home adds much more stress to a man than having a stressful workplace as home is his castle, his refuge, his sanctuary, his safe place where he can be refreshed and relax.

      # February 29, 2012

      • Caralee

        By having a cheerful attitude, I become his fresh and clear water that Debbie Pearl writes in her poem about at the end of her book.

        # February 29, 2012

      • Caralee

        The other point I wanted to share in fighting for my husband is that I am very conscious to not talk about my husband with other woman. Though I wish I could share all the wonderful attributes my husband has and does for me with my friends, I have learned from my mother that it is not wise to do this, as other ladies, when they hear about my wonderful husband, they compare their husband to mine which feeds the already present discontentment they have with their own husbands. Then this could potentially cause these women to become interested in my husband.

        I did have an experience where I had to fight for my man a few years back. I cannot go into detail, but the good thing was my husband was wise enough to question a woman’s actions at work that made him uncomfortable though he was not sure if he was misreading her cues. I was able to confirm his assumptions, and together we openly dealt with the woman in a kind but direct and firm manner. The woman ended up being embarressed and apologized to us.

        # February 29, 2012

  2. swifttohear

    Hi, Shalom
    Thanks again for leading this study!
    The following verses give me great hope and joy:

    John 16:20-24 Verily, verily, I say unto you, That ye shall weep and lament, but the world shall rejoice: and ye shall be sorrowful, but your sorrow shall be turned into joy. A woman when she is in travail hath sorrow, because her hour is come: but as soon as she is delivered of the child, she remembereth no more the anguish, for joy that a man is born into the world. And ye now therefore have sorrow: but I will see you again, and your heart shall rejoice, and your joy no man taketh from you. And in that day ye shall ask me nothing.

    Psalm 5:11
    But let all those that put their trust in thee rejoice: let them ever shout for joy, because thou defendest them: let them also that love thy name be joyful in thee.

    One thing I’ve learned about having to fight for your man is that each day is a fight. Each day, I battle my flesh in order to selflessly put him first with a smile, and each day, the Lord gives me the strength required to prevail. Sometimes I lose. On those days, it is always my fault, and never the dear Lord’s. When the Lord returns, I know I will win forever, and never lose again. I SOOOOO look forward to that day! In the meantime, I must remember to “make a joyful noise unto the Lord”. My kids and I are getting good at that. We love to sing. 🙂

    I’d love to hear stories from others about defending their “turf”!

    # February 28, 2012

  3. trina

    when i was younger i was always on guard when me and my husband were around beautiful women in revealing cothing, my attitude would change and i would get upset. It was very annoying to my husband to the point of it causing alot of fights. Since then I have learned how to become a different type of lovely to him and my confidence has sky rocketed. As soon as my mind begins to turn sour I start to thank God or thank my husband out loud and I become joyful. I think this is my best defense against these women. Its still hard when we are around women in revealing clothing but I no longer seethe with bitterness, i get over it. And I used to trash talk these women really bad to my husband, I have learned this is the worst thing I could ever do for it fuels the bitterness inside me and him. Instead I just ignore them entirely as if they werent there, sometimes I even close my eyes or look away and give thanks for anything i can think of. This has really helped me be joyful!

    # March 2, 2012

  4. Grace

    It really is true what they say. If mom is not happy nobodys’ happy!

    I have to say, that’s the biggest thing in fighting for my man. I find that if l’m not cheerful than a lot things start to crumble but if l keep smiling even though l might not feel like it inside than everyone is happy.

    l realize l have so much control in that area in our home. That’s why l daily pray for God to make me that woman, wife and mother that l’ve been created to be. l practise being thankful because thankfulness produces joy.

    # March 5, 2012

  5. Shalom (Staff) - posted the original question.

    Joy of the Lord
    Every time I read over the verses on Joy I come to the same conclusions. When you are joyful it comes out in the form of dancing, singing, shouting, playing instruments and at times crying. I am so thankful to my mom that she daily showed us Joy, not just said she had the joy of the Lord, but really lived it. As a child dancing and jumping and shouting with joy was an everyday thing. Now I have carried that over into my own family. My kids think it is normal for mom to jump up and down and dance around the house singing, they are right there with me having a great time. Even now when my children go to see Mama Pearl she meets them jumping and laughing for Joy. The kids are jumping up and down with her. I have to say she does look funny, for when I say jumping for joy I mean it literally. But the truth is I want to be just like her when I am a grandmother. Shalom
    Psa. 5:11 But let all those that put their trust in thee rejoice: let them ever shout for joy, because thou defendest them: let them also that love thy name be joyful in thee.

    # March 8, 2012

    • Caralee

      Thankyou Shalom. I am glad you posted this as I need to do this.

      # March 8, 2012