I am 17 and live in Michigan and here all the girls wear very short shorts and low and tight tops – and I mean everyone, even older women wear shorts or short skirts and in general the modesty standard is very low. Even among the Christians – I go to a pretty conservative church and the girls still dress like everyone else, they maybe have their shorts an inch longer or so but it barely covers a quarter of the thigh. I also went to a missions trip with other teens and again – all short shorts everyday all the time. I am not sure how I should dress since I do want to go with the style but I don’t want to get wrong attention so I was wondering if it is OK to wear shorts and shirts that are less tight and short than what other girls wear (but might be considered immodest in more conservative communities). Since everyone else is wearing less, would that be fine since the guys are used to seeing a lot anyways and showing less (maybe half the thigh) would already be very modest… kinda like wearing a tankini and swim skirt on the beach instead of a bikini… what are your thoughts?
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Rather than judge what is modest based on what others are wearing, judge it according to what God commands.
God commands us to keep from being a stumbling-block to others (in this case, appealing to the “the lust of the eyes” of men and/or women). He tells us to don “modest apparel” with “shamefacedness and sobriety”. He tells us not to wear “gold, or pearls, or costly array”, but to dress ourselves “with good works” after “the hidden man of the heart” (a meek and quiet spirit). He commanded the priests in the OT to wear robes long enough to keep anyone from being able to see their legs while they were mounting stairs! Our God has not changed, but I’m sure we can agree that fashion standards certainly have!
God commands us to “be ye separate”, to “be not conformed to this world”, and that by being friends with the world, we are the enemies of God (Jas. 4:4). So what exactly do we gain by conforming to the fashion standards that are prescribed by Hollywood or Milan?
Prove yourself a child of God by dressing in a way that pleases Him. Certainly you are not so weak-minded as to dress in short shorts just because everyone else is! “Broad is the way that leadeth to destruction”. Does the opinion of your friends or society-at-large matter more than God’s opinion? What do you lose if somebody disrespectful and jealous labels you a “conservative”? Do you live to please people, or God?
What a great witness you are for Christ if, when you wear a skirt and feminine blouse (the way Shoshanna Easling does, for example), and people ask you why you are dressing that way, you can tell them it’s because you don’t aspire to Hollywood standards of beauty, you aspire to a godly standard of beauty. You love to be the woman God made you, so you don’t want to dress like a man. You believe that the man you marry will look forward to seeing parts of you that are reserved only for him, and what a lucky man he will be!
You can trust that if a boy you know is enamored by the girl who shows the most thigh, he is not the guy you want to marry! He’s the guy that will be addicted to porn, whose eye will always wander, and who will make his wife feel constant pressure to compete with an “air-brushed”, computer-generated “reality” of a “woman”.
Seek after the things of God, be graceful and confident, knowing that you do not belong to this world. You belong to the kingdom of heaven, and “you are not your own… therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s” (1 Cor. 6:19-20).
Thanks for reading!
Paige
My advice to you would be to not dress like the other girls. Even if you dress almost to the degree they do, and it is still immodest, it will not be edifying to your brothers in Christ. Just because guys see it a lot doesn’t mean it is OK to dress like those other girls. Also, if you would dress in the same provocative manner, you will be attracting the wrong kind of guys and attention. I wear my shorts and skirts knee length or a little above the knee. I don’t wear tight or low cut tops. I wear a tank top or a sleeveless shirt underneath see through tops. My swimsuit is a high cut one piece with loose shorts. When I put together outfits, I make sure what I wear won’t tempt other guys. Hopefully this answers your question.