Hi, my name is Amanda, I’m 17 years old and I am hoping for some help. I am a horse rider. I ride in English jumping shows. Earlier this year I was looking for a new horse and found one on craigslist. So when I went to go see the horse for the fist time, to my surprise the horse was owned by a very nice young man my age. After I bought his horse we did not talk very much. 4 months after I bought the horse, sadly my horsey died? I was very sad. I told the young man and he was the only person who help me out of my sadness. We now keep in touch and talk quit often. To my surprise we now show at the same horse shows. I really really like him, but he has shown NO signs of liking me back. For all he knows is we are just friends. My family really likes him and jokes about us all the time, the weird thing is my whole family is often having dreams about him, and its quit weird. I pray and dont know what God is saying, because if he is giving my whole family dreams about him, I thought “oh it means I will marry him” but he has not made any move yet, so are those dreams just silly dreams? I would like to know what he thinks of me but know that asking him would make things weird if he feels nothing? This young man is very sweet and kind hearted. He is a very good friend and has very good manners, not like most of the rude guys these days, where you always have to watch out that they are not staring down your neck? I have always admired him and I have learned allot about horse shows and stuff from him. He is always willing to help me out when I need it. So what do I do? Does he like me or not?
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Oh and one more thing I forgot to say, he is a very shy person. When ever we are together in groups he is very quit and nervous, he says nothing at all. but when its just us, he is a really laid back, talkative and funny!!!!!
He really gets quit when we are with his friends. I don’t know why this is?
I am the most talkative when I’m one-on-one with somebody. Throw another person in the mix and I’m about half as talkative. The more people, the less I talk. My rule is: If I don’t have to talk, then I don’t talk. It doesn’t really matter if they are friends or not, I just don’t enjoy yelling over and/or interrupting other people. I’m assuming it is the same way with the guy you are referring to.
It’s so easy to become attracted to a guy. We women naturally find them so loveable. 🙂 We need to ask ourselves the right questions, though. Personally, I can evaluate and consider whether I like this hunk all day and hope and hope and hope he likes me back, but that gets me nowhere fast, or if it does get me somewhere it’s NOT the right place, no, ma’am. I don’t know about you, but I want GOD’S WILL for my life… nothing more, nothing less, nothing else!
So, these are the most important questions I ask myself when a man catches my interest. If the man doesn’t match up with all four, I put him FIRMLY from my mind. (Sometimes that’s very hard but that’s where you’ve got to humble yourself and ask God for His grace! James 4:6)
1: Is he saved? If he is not born again, according to God you cannot even consider him as a mate. No ands, ifs, or buts about it, sister. “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?” (2 Cor. 6:14) “Can two walk together, except they be agreed?” (Amos 3:3)
2: If he is saved, what kinds of standards does he set for himself? He may be really nice and really cute. He may even be a really decent guy compared to other men — but does he have convictions? Does he live to honor God?
3: Yes, you like him — but can you respect him and his decisions and choose to submit to him as your leader for your whole life? This is huge!
4: Don’t follow your heart. “Lean not unto thine own understanding.” (Prov. 3:5) Evaluate what is important to you — does what you believe and what he believes match up? (See Amos 3:3 above)
Ask the Lord for wisdom! “If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.” (James 1:5) Pray! Get in the Book! Get to know your God! Draw near to Him and seek His will with your whole heart for He wants you to know it — He’s not hiding it from you. BUT sometimes our hearts are so rebellious and we know we won’t like His answer, so we deceive ourselves. That is the most dangerous place in the world to be! Don’t go there!!!
Be honest with God. Humble yourself and earnestly seek Him and His will in this matter. “Seek and ye shall find.” (Matt. 7:7)
I really like this. Especially the first part about dreaming that gets you “nowhere fast”. I agree, there is nothing more unproductive than dreaming.
Thats it. I know he believes in God, but I dont know him well enough to look into were he stands with God? I am wondering now if I should go there? It would be super hard to put him out of my mind sense he seems to always be there?
Way must this be soooo hard?????
I don’t believe anyone here is likely to be able to tell you for sure whether he likes you or not, or whether you are meant for each other. Keep praying for him and if he is a good guy, keep being his friend. God will show you when the time is right.
Just try not to obsess. That way, you won’t waste your time 🙂 Stay open to the wonderful plans God has for you even f they do not involve who or what you expect. Easier said then done I know. God bless you!!
p.s. It’s hard because these little tribulations work patience, experience & hope in us. There’s something about that in Romans.
Amanda, first off, I am so sorry about your loss of your horsey. I can only imagine that there aren’t words to describe how that felt.
You seem like such a great person. One reason it’s so hard is that you’re 17 and the world of men is soooo exciting! And it should be. 🙂 But waiting is a wonderful skill to learn, and the truth is that Jesus wants you to be happy even more than you do. I promise. I found my dream man in spite of my efforts, not because of them! 🙂 (Married 15 years now)
But when I really got to know him and his relationship with God, then I knew.
If I were you, I would just keep enjoying this young man’s company (in a proper way of course) at horse shows. And keep praying about this all the time. One day you are going to be a wonderful wife if that’s what God calls you to.
This is just my opinion, and I’m certainly not in your shoes, but I wouldn’t work too hard to figure out what his relationships with God is like. You really should be just friends for now, anyway, and your feelings for him could subside with time (only time will tell). I would just enjoy his company and wish the best for him and pray for him when God brings him to mind. But until he shows a serious interest back to you, it might make you feel a bit obsessed to try to figure him out this early. And it might make him feel a bit judged. For now, he’s your brother, and your brother wouldn’t want you poking around in his business, right? LOL
This is encouraging for any single gal!