Question

Posted February 24, 2014

I love my daddy and am grateful that he works hard to take care of all of us.  He does not love God and all our lives my mother has been overloaded with trying to juggle protecting us from our father’s perversions along with training us to honor him.  Once when I was very young, dad molested me, but only once.  Mom threatened him with prison if it should ever happen again.   Daddy is not wise in things of God or morality.  He thinks I am living in a fantasy world to want a husband who has never used porn. Needless to say I cannot trust daddy to filter out the trash.  I believe my mom could, but she is torn.  We read a lot in your books about women who try to run the courtship show.  Mama doesn’t want to do that.  I am almost 20 and my younger friends are getting married.  Daddy doesn’t socialize. So we are not big on hospitality when he is home.  It doesn’t feel right to Mama to practice hospitality to a family with dad and sons included when their is no godly father to bridge the gap. I love God and want to trust Him to work in spite of this.  I have almost wore out my life’s verse: “Is anything too hard for God?”   Do you have any ideas how Mom could oversee my courtship without perceiving herself as a controlling battleax?

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  1. thankfulwifey

    I dont have any experience with courting, but I believe God can lead your courtship. Hope this helps…I asked my husband if he had used porn myself and his answer was obviously the WHOLE truth. I was pleased with the answer and 10 years later he is still the pure Godly man I fell in love with. We are celebrarting our 9th anniversary today 🙂

    I met him in college and we dated. Both our families were far away. I think courtship is wise and can keep you more pure than we were. Keep accountable to your mother, discuss everything with her and pray together. God will lead you both! Don’t worry, many people meet and marry in other ways without much involvement from Dad. God has a special and interesting plan for you, I just dont know what it is!!!

    Personally, now I think back, my Dad taught me to filter out my own trash. He hated innuendo and garbage so we didn’t have a TV. I had a personal disgust for promiscuity and dirty jokes. I think God will give you wisdom and perverts will be obvious to you. Sometimes its just a smile, a wink, something that is off that shows they are consumed with lust. God will lead you I am not worried. Best advice my girlfriend gave me, “You dont need a reason not to like him.” Sometimes its just not the right guy and you just know, even though there is nothing “wrong” with him.

    # March 18, 2014