I am a Go-To gal (with a little dreamer) that married a Command man with strong Visionary tendencies. After 8 years of marriage and 4 children, I feel like I am still preparing to be his help meet. It is a high passion relationship; good and bad. I have seen amazing transformations as a result of our marriage but he has also landed himself in jail for beating and choking me and destroying property (cars, the house) twice now. The cruel words are the worst by far. He will fill up my phone with hatred, names and threats. A background sentence about me; I grew up in a unbelieving home with a single mom who was selfish and dominant with the many men she had in and out. I’m positive this affected me negatively but as a result of being so insecure, I turned into a Go-To. Nobody was going to take care of me so I had to chart my own course. Because my husband can be so cruel, I have an even harder time trusting him. And when we get into these big fights, I will at times but not always “give it back” to him. What I really want is for our marriage to glorify God, as I have seen it do off and on when we are on track. What am I supposed to do? How can I change? In Mike’s book, he touched on this pair saying “and the battle for supremacy begins”. This is true. I feel like if I continually let him have the upper hand on me relationally, he will just walk all over me and I will be this weak, co-dependent wife that he wont even want anymore. Does that bear any truth? Admission; I want him to pursue me. What does that say about me? I know I’ve asked a lot of questions. Your family’s beliefs and advice are of very few I agree with. Do you have anything to say about G0-To and Command Man in particular or my marriage in particular?