Posted May 28, 2013

Hi Debi

I am reading your book on Preparing to Be a Help Meet and gained completely new insight. According to the guidelines in your book I realize that I am not READY yet even though I will turn 40 this year. Meanwhile I can’t see any sign of any male who is interested in me.

I go to church and serve though I still have very low self esteem. looking at my younger sisters in Christ who are walking hand in hand with their boyfriends/husbands I sometimes feel shameful and wonder if God forgets me completely.

Debi, would you like to share your opinion on this? Maybe I can also use it to help someone in the future.




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  1. mdewald

    Get to the mission field somewhere. Start loving on some lonely orphaned children. You will forget yourself. Perhaps a godly widow will notice your sweet gentle spirit and want you to be the grandmother of his grand children. Stop being so backwards. Its time for confidence. If you ask God to put you on a godly mans redar and then trust Him and do what he tell you (Remember Ruth)

    # August 21, 2013

  2. kingsdaughter7

    Hi Lisa! I’m not Debi but I’ll give you my thoughts on this 🙂 Perhaps the reason why you don’t have any male attention is because of your lack of confidence? I know several girls and ladies who didn’t really have any attention from guys because it didn’t look like they felt confident. That is a BIG key! Guys want to see ladies who are joyful and productive. Lack of confidence will take both of those things away. They don’t want to see girls/ladies who are worried about their weight, height, stature, body, voice, you name it. I think everyone has at least SOMETHING they don’t like about themselves, but instead of worrying about that ONE thing, we should be focusing on the good things that we have or do. So keep your chin up, eyes forward, and a smile on your face!

    But!! Your main focus shouldn’t be just on guys. Since your a bit older, you have a better chance of volunteering, going on mission trips and helping out at orphanages. Help out wherever you can. I don’t think it’s much that God forgot you, but he yearns for that fellowship with you as he does everyone. Make God the most important priority in our life. Read your Bible everyday, MEDITATE on it, really search God. Pray throughout the day and sing encouraging songs that lift up His name. The more you do all of this, the more you’ll love God, and the more you’ll love yourself! Don’t be afraid to share and ask for prayer requests at church or Bible study.

    The real men will then look at you and wonder

    # August 28, 2013

  3. kingsdaughter7

    oops! I pressed a wrong button. I didn’t finish… anyways they will look at you and wonder what the change is in you. You will have a glow as all Christians should. But remember not to become grabby because you have seen the results of that in the PTBAHM book. Be patient. If it’s God’s will that you get married, then HE will make it happen. Don’t push. Well that’s my opinion, hope it helped! God bless 🙂

    # August 28, 2013

  4. Shalom (Staff)

    Hi Lisa! I suggest that you do like these two other ladies have said, and get busy doing something that is bigger than yourself and getting married. Have joyful confidence, and serve the Lord. Whether or not you get married, your life should be more full and enjoyable for it. Also…Guys like it when a woman is busy serving. 😉

    # February 11, 2014