My dad & mom are writing a book for young men called “In Search of a Help Meet” Like the Preparing book where it had comments from guys this book will have comments from girls and what we have to say throughout the book. So this is your chance ladies to tell guys what you think. I need to know what type you think you are so we can put your comment under a servant type a go-to-type or a dreamer type. Here are a few questions to get you started.
*What type of occupation, past time, or obsessions would deter you from a guy, even if he was “the perfect guy.”
*What type of behavior do you see in a guy that portrays that he is a “mama’s boy.”
*What type of guy are you attracted to and why are you attracted to them?
i.e. “I am a dreamer and I am attracted to king types because I like leadership.”
Thanks for all you help, Shalom
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Being a good help meet starts long before marriage. It is a mindset, a learned habit, a way of life established as a young unmarried girl—or at least that’s the way it should be. Nearly every wife will confess that the first year or two of married life was—how shall I say it—a frustrating learning experience.
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I am a servant go-to-type and I married a steady visionary type. We compliment each other perfectly. When I look back and think about the first time he ask me to get to know him, I said yes becouse I liked that he had a vision for his life and had the steadness to see it through.
Thank you ladies! All your comments have been very helpful. Mom asked me to ask you girls for help in letting people know about the shindig in TX. My parents would really like to see this shindig bring together young people from all across the country, so if you or any one that you know would be interested come on down and join us. One of the young girls here in our church wants to go but her parents cannot afford it. She figured up how much it would cost and then ask her parents that if she raised the money that they would need would they go and of course they said “yes”. She has been making cookies and walking to town to sale them. She needed to raise 60$ a week between now and then and she has been making sometimes 200$ a week. When others heard about her goal they were more apt to hire her for odd jobs. I have even had her working for me a little here and there, babysitting, cleaning, helping me can tomatoes, and I am happy to pay her for I know that she is working toward a cause. She is only 16 years old by the way. When I was a teen, when there was events like this a bunch of us young people would go together in a big van all helping pay the gas. It was a fun time. Of course we always had someone older doing the driving. I hope to see some of you there. Shalom
What an encouraging story, thanks so much for sharing, Shalom!
And you’re welcome. 😉
Texas Shindig or bust!
🙂
I’m hoping to be there along with my parents and four siblings! I’m so praying for this and looking forward to it!
(It hasn’t been 100% confirmed yet, but my Dad promised us that we’d work towards that!)
I’m a 19 year old dreamer/go-to gal. Since I was asked to tell the guys what I think, I’m going to be hard on you. I know that whoever I marry will be a work in progress, and that no guy is going to be perfect. If he was, he wouldn’t need me!
I want to marry a real man, a man who is not afraid to suffer the pain of doing his duty.
I want a man who will genuinely seek God’s will and direction in his life – If I’m going to follow this guy wherever he leads, I want to be confident that he will do his best to lead me in the right direction.
I am not impressed with guys who are lazy. I am going to devote my entire life to serving the man I marry, and I know that I will constantly struggle with my thoughts if he is playing his video games while I am hard at work.
I am usually attracted to guys who are very confident and who can converse with ease. When I get to know someone, I can be very bossy and dominant. I want a man who can handle me and keep me in line, one that I am a bit afraid of, a man that commands respect.
I don’t like a man who is too concerned with his looks, spending hours on his hair. I don’t know any girls who like either those disgusting, tight, sissy pants, or the baggy ones that are falling off so we can see your boxers. Most girls I know grimace and run the other way.
Living on a Montana ranch, I am generally not impressed with city boys. I’m sure that one could grow on me. Perhaps I will end up marrying one, but at first sight a city boy won’t get my attention. I’m too busy trying not to look at the handsome cowboys in their chaps and cowboy hats. That is what is attractive to me. Two of my friends, a dreamer and a servant, were farm girls who had no such prejudice and both ended up marrying city guys. Perhaps it is my personality.
As a final note, I would tell you guys, if you want to find a good help meet, to go where the girls are and don’t be afraid to talk. Don’t flirt, just introduce yourself. I have a number of friends who are lovely, sweet, Christian girls that want to get married. Some are now in their late twenties or even thirty. We are not hidden flowers; we go to Bible studies, dances, picnics and parades. Some of us have even traveled around, taking jobs in other cities or even other countries. I know a total of two single Christian guys. I get out all the time, but who goes to the Bible studies? Girls. Who goes to the dances? More girls. Surely there are guys around, we see quite a few at the town picnics, but we are not about to walk up and introduce ourselves. If you don’t want us girls to hunt you down or initiate, please step up and do it yourselves.
I am also very attracted to guys who are confident. In fact, I would say that the only physical characteristic I look for in a young man is whether he carries himself confidently-straight and tall-and not slouching. Since this man is to be my head and authority; I want him to be respectable, and capable of strong and decisive leadership.
Yes! I would love to marry a cowboy type guy! And yes, no Christian girl is interested in skinny-jeans or pants where they can see half the guy’s boxers! Kait, it’s a good thing me and you don’t live near each other; we would probably fight over the same guy because I’d like a guy just like you described! 🙂
hee hee… They do exist, though they are increasingly rare. But you can’t have mine! :p
cowboy-type guys that is… not Christian girls who like to see boxers! just to clarify!
AMEN about the sissy pants and baggy, boxer-baring ones!!! Trust me guys – we don’t want to see everything either of those pants show off. In fact, that’s just about the nastiest thing I can think of……..
Yes, I totally agree w/ y’all about the “sissy pants” as Kat says! 😉 🙂
I would agree, while fashion is not a #1 concern it certainly can either attract or deter! I also find it very unmanly when guys are overly concerned about their clothes and hair. It is nice when a guy looks decent and keeps clean but honestly if I had to pick between desiner jeans and ripped up blue jeans with a cutoff I would go with the blue jeans and cutoff every time not matter how stained they were with car oil. 🙂 Personally, I don’t know why guys wear anything but button up plaid shirts. I can’t think of anything more hansome and manly. 😉 Distinction between the genders is so important. Old fashioned men definatly are more attractive than this modern whimpy passive version of manhood that the culture is shoving down our throats.
And yes, if we seem to be being hard on you it is only because we care about you so much. These are the things I wish so many Christian guys knew. So don’t be discouraged but see this a proof that we really do care because we care enough to tell the truth. These things will matter if you want to marry a women of character who will be attracted to who you are-your godly character. We’re not going to swoon over a hansome jerk but we just might swoon if we see a godly young man who is truly being transformed by the Spirit in every aspect of his life.
We notice you when you’re being different and even if we never tell you, we respect you so much!
This response was so fun to read… it made me smile! It was so simple and to the point… great job, Kait
Shalom, I can’t tell you how happy and thrilled I am that your parents are coming out with this newest book!!! 😀 😉
*What type of occupation, past time, or obsessions would deter you from a guy, even if he was “the perfect guy.”
I would never court/date (please don’t get hung up on the term…) a guy who was obsessed with video games. I don’t mind if someone plays a video game for a little bit, but if I thought that it would ever become an obsession in his life, I would discontinue the relationship, if there was one.
*What type of behavior do you see in a guy that portrays that he is a “mama’s boy.”
Tough one for me because I don’t think I know any mama’s boys! But I would say that not being diligent in his work, not praying and taking the lead in church, and not doing things guys should be doing would get someone labeled as a “mama’s boy.” Too put it bluntly, not “manning up”! As a side note, I would never ever want this type of guy for a husband!
*What type of guy are you attracted to and why are you attracted to them?
I’d say I’m 90-95% Dreamer with 5-10% Go-To. I’m mainly attracted to Visionaries with some Steady. I think I prefer the Visionary type because I like some excitement. My friends all agree that I’ll probably marry a “Wise Visionary!” 😀 I don’t think I’d ever be attracted to a Visionary if he was clearly wishy-washy and never saw anything through till the end. I do prefer the romantic type, and I doubt I would do well with a pure Steady or pure King. However, I do not have much experience with Kings, so that’s hard to say.
I want to add something to the last question:
I’m also attracted to guys who are confident, social, and can talk with anyone anytime anywhere. 😉 Confidence is a big thing. I want HIM to lead in the household, not me, not a relative, not a MIL, not anyone else but him!
And also, for me, the clothes he wears isn’t a major issue, but certainly NOT a minor issue either. I DO NOT like when guys have their pants pulled down. I don’t like messy dressers. I would stress this in your book–girls DO NOT like when guys dress like that!!! I’m definitely attracted more to cowboys with hats and boots. Like Kait said, a city boy could attract me, but it would surprise me! 😛
Another thing: I’ve always wanted to marry someone who will work from the home and/or include me in his work. This is something I feel very strongly about, however I’m not close-minded about someone who would be unable to work from the home.
Something I think nearly every girl out there would agree with is that guys are immensely attractive when they play with little kids. We want GREAT fathers–not good, but great–for any children we may have! This is SO HUGE!
Wanting to homeschool our future kids together is another must for a future husband. 🙂
Lastly, I should add that above everything a guy could possibly be, being strong in the Lord and faithful to Him is the #1 item on my “must have” list. #2 is a MAN being a MAN. No feminine anything! Masculinity is SO important. I CANNOT stress this enough!! Women don’t want to marry a wimp. Men must be men, and ladies, we can do our part in supporting them because it IS hard for most men to find their true masculinity in this day and age.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9wUeegIam9I
I don’t know if I’d be much help because I’m a mixture of a go-to-gal and dreamer instead of a solid type. Anyway, I’ll can I just say how much more attractive a guy hard at dirty work is compared to a couch potato! I definately am planning on marryinga guy who knows how to get dirty! As for the ‘type of guy I’d like to marry, since I love new things but also like guys who are somewhat reserved, I’d like to marry a vissionary-steady type. And although I honestly couldn’t take a command man, I do hope the man I marry isn’t afraid to tell me ‘no’ now and then.
I am mainly a go-to girl with a heaping tablespoon of servant.
*What type of occupation, past time, or obsessions would deter you from a guy, even if he was “the perfect guy.”
Pornography is the obvious one. Absolute zero, zip, nada chance that I would consider the guy if he is actively/recently involved with porn. Automatic disqualification. If he can show that he has not been involved for a considerable length of time (probably 2+ years) then I would prayerfully and cautiously look for signs of that continuing struggle in his life. So if a guy has been involved with porn but is now clean and is trying to pursue a woman l then he really has to demonstrate to her that he is trustworthy.
Another obsession that bothers me is discontentment. I’ve seen guys that are constantly looking for the next greatest car, or house, or TV, gaming system. etc. There’s a difference between having a vision for where you are wanting to go and having little appreciation for what you have now. It might make some women wonder if the man would be able to continue to “rejoice with the wife of his youth”.
Video games can be a big issue. Personally I would rather a guy be obsessed with pretty much anything else (other than porn and other sexual sins obviously) I can see in brothers, friends, acquaintances, how video games change their attitudes for the worse and negatively affect their relationships. In moderation it can be ok, but guys especially have to be extremely careful in the amount of time they spend on them.
If a guy is going to have an obsession, it would really mean a lot to me if they at least try to include me in it. This doesn’t mean all the time necessarily or that I have to do it with them. But if they talk to me about it and explain what they love about it or why it means a lot to them etc. I can at least be part of it emotionally.
Occupation-wise—you get major bonus points as a guy with me if you have an occupation where you can involve me/the kids in working with you sometimes.
*What type of behavior do you see in a guy that portrays that he is a “mama’s boy.”
His lack of knowing about/appreciation for what his father does. I love to see the fruit of a strong father/son relationship. I would much rather hear “Well, my father says” than “My Mama says,”
I also don’t really care for when guys let their mom answer questions for them. It shows that she feels as if he can’t answer himself. This can be the mom’s fault, but should be addressed.
Relying on their parents for “too long” or not having a vision. Most women want a man that will be able to live separately from his parents (includes making decisions without having to consult them), doesn’t owe them money, or has a researched/written/well thought out plan of how to get out of those situations in the very near future.
I am a go-to mainly/servant and I am mainly attracted to kings and some visionaries because I want to be able to follow and be a part of my man’s vision and his plan for getting things done. I would love for my husband to really take spiritual leadership in the home very seriously. It would be wonderful if my future husband already had a plan for how he wanted to teach any children about the Lord. I don’t really want to have to wonder about what I should be doing under him, I desire for him to (with some mutual consent ha!) to make a place for me within an integral part of his vision. It’s really important to me to know/be able to see that my life has purpose and matters, to him and to God.
I’m a dreamer servant girl; I tend to find visionary types most interesting, but think I’d be a better helper to a steady guy. :]
I’m a dreamer-servant, and I’m attracted to the prophet-with-a-touch-of-king. I see him as the reformer type, not afraid to speak biblical truth and lead me and our future kids in truth. I want to support my man in his line of work, and minister with him to the people around us. I think my greatest nightmare would be marrying a man who doesn’t understand the Great Commission. I despise apathy in all forms. I don’t think I could live with an “apathist.”
I’m not saying he has to be a pastor or missionary, but I’d prefer if in his work he has contact with people and the ability to make a stand — meaning that I don’t want him to be bogged down with rules and regulations that prohibit him from sharing his faith with clients/customers/co-workers.
I agree! wish I would have thought to put this.
I’m mostly a dreamer type.
Something that would deter me would be anger issues, or perhaps a lack of humbleness. It doesn’t matter much what type of man I marry (though the Kings I know in my life are not attractive to me). Mainly, I want him to have a purpose and to know what he wants to do in life. If he has no plan, then he is not a possibility. And his goal in life, whatever his plan, should be to please and glorify God.
Abby you are so right! Same here. I hope this answer or something similar is said in the book!!!
AMEN! A guy with anger issues or lack of humbleness would automatically be black balled. I think most of us (especially those of us who fit into the Command/Go-to category) struggle with humbleness to some extent, but I have no problem with a guy who realizes he has a struggle and is willing to accept correction and submit to God’s continued working in him. It’s the guys that have the attitude of “Look at me everyone! After much striving and intellectual struggle on my part —— I HAVE ATTAINED HUMILITY!” that I’m not interested in. An older friend of mine pointed out that there’s a big difference between knowing about humility and being humbled.
I’m a go-to servant girl and I’m getting ready to marry a visionary man. I was attracted to him because of His character and integrity, plus I knew I could follow his leadership. Another thing, he’s always so joyful and happy, which always makes me smile. With him, life will be quite the adventure!
I have always disturbed me when a guy is lazy and likes to spend a lot of time out of reality. A guy who can work hard and doesn’t mind getting dirty sometimes – or all the time – is a lot more attractive that a techy fellow stuck in a book or on the computer.
1. Deterrents- video games, excessive movie watching, acting “cool” i.e. only talking to certain people, or being uncomfortable around children. Living in a trailer with no plans to move out.
2. Mama’s boy: not paying for ALL of his own stuff (insurance, vehicle, etc) and living at home with no plans to move out. Excessive borrowing or mooching of other people.
3. Type of guy: I tend to like command/visionary types because they are always moving forward and don’t waste time like Steady men do. I like men who can hold down a good job (not McDonalds) and work well with people.
I am a servant type, and I really admire strong men who stand up for righteousness. Gentlemen who are actively pursuing their relationship with Christ are infinitely more attractive rather than those trying to “catch a girl”. A man with a steadfast spirit, hunger for the Word of God, and a love for the Lord will much sooner win me over than a handsome face or honey-dipped tongue.
I am a go-to/servant type; in answer to the question “what type of guy are you attracted to?” I would say command because I like men that are brave enough to stand up and and start something. Also steady, cuz I have a ‘wild-minded’ visionary dad, so the quiet running-on-a-schedule-with-a-bit-of-flexibility type of men suit me well. 🙂
One thing I admire in young men is if they can take correction with a meek spirit, and not deny it right away, or make excuses. Something even I’m working on. 🙂
I am a dreamer and I am attracted to both steady and kingly types. I like steady guys because they make me relax, and kingly guys because they don’t think I’m crazy for having so many interests and help me get things done.
*An obsession with video games deters me from guys. When I see them staring at a screen all day it makes me think, “That guy is wasting his life.” People are perishing in their sins every day, and that guy is pretending to shoot guns.
*A mama’s boy is a guy who is whiney. If not in voice, then in attitude. He is so used to having his mother dote on him, that he expects everyone to bow to his desires. At church picnics, he deserves to be first in line. He gets the first slice of cake. A mama’s boy doesn’t do tough things without complaining. He doesn’t accept responsibility.
I am a dreamer/servant type, and I am attracted to steady as well as some kingly men as well. What I would say though, that is most attractive, me as well as probably most other girls is when a man is a man! When he is masculine and not ashamed of it! He treats ladies with respect and courtesy, not because his mom told him to, but because that is what men do. He has a vision and purpose for life, that is bigger than himself. He will not be wrapped in video games, because not only are they a waste of time, and not honoring to the Lord, but because that is not what real MEN spend their time doing!!He will work hard because that is what God’s word tells men to do! He is not a “mamas boy” but he loves and honors his Mother and treats her with respect.
This man will not be perfect, of course, but he will be striving (with many mistakes along the way!) to be the spiritual leader of his home, the protector and provider, and most of all the loving husband and father that God wants him to be!
I agree! That’s what is attractive to me: when men are men! When they treat all women and girls with respect courtesy. Like holding doors open, ladies first, etc.
Years ago at summer Bible camp, we put together this ridiculous “heroes and villains” skit that started with the words “In an age when men were men……………….and women were glad of it…” How true that is!
Amen, amen amen! “A man who is a man”! Yes; a ‘girly’, wimpy guy is NOT NOT NOT attractive. Give me a guy who looks, dresses, talks, walks, and acts like a MAN! 🙂 And a man of vision is a REAL attention-grabber for me. (I’m a Dreamer Gal – I guess that explains it!).
I’m also part servant, and by nature am very timid and shy (though I’m workin’ on it!) and am very attracted to a courageous guy who is adventurous and afraid of nothing and inspires the same in me! 🙂
A man, to me, is the epitome of control. Man should intrinsically have a strong sense of responsibility. It’s what he was created for. Man has a mission; he wants to be a master of a small portion of the world and, for a godly man, that means redirecting that power for the purposes of God. A man should seek, discover and do the will of God for his life. He should have a plan and an execution. If he does not rise up and do this, he is not fulfilling his role. Manhood equals responsibility.
That being said, I believe that even if a man has a healthy obsession, he needs to have a measure of control over it, even being able dropping it altogether if need be. As a man, he should be in control of what “controls” him (read: obsession). Especially the Prophet type as he tends to go to extremes. He needs to be aware of how it’s affecting his family. For example, this summer my dad (who is a very strong King/Prophet) has a fishnet set out in the ocean and has brought home over sixty fish so far for us to clean and put away. This is a busy summer for everyone but by working together we’re getting it done. However, last week it was impossible because of the events we had going on. He could have said, “We’re doing this anyway” and we would have, but instead he pulled his net out and we took a much-needed break. Don’t allow your obsession to take precedence over the needs of your family. When we ladies see men fail to handle their obsessions in an unhealthy way, that puts fear into us because we’ll be wondering just what kind of predicaments such a man might get us into.
There comes a time when a boy needs to cut himself away from his mama’s proverbial apron strings. He needs to be responsible for his own laundry and most of his meals. Most mothers would be happy to continue taking care of their boys, but men need to take initiative and be independent. I know some young men who have become so independent of their mothers that their mothers feel almost unneeded. This is not a bad thing. (“Why isn’t this the norm?” is what I’d like to know.) You’re a man. Your mother needs to accept that and she will if you carry your own weight and command respect. You take care of yourself now. It goes without saying that a grown man needs to provide for ALL of his expenses (insurance, etc.) and not mooch off his parents.
Some other “sissy” aversions I have are in regards to gender-blurring. I don’t care what society says, pink is not a color for men to wear. I know it’s hard to go against the dictates of the trends. I’m a young lady and it’s my goal to be modest and feminine: not a popular stand. The guys friends whom I’ve kindly confronted about this issue don’t even seem to think it is one. I’ve come to the point where I don’t even try to change their views anymore; it just gets me irritated, and I know that kind of spirit is not edifying to the situation. 🙂 And the issue really isn’t about the color pink. It’s about rising up and being a real man, following a biblical pattern. In my opinion, the real men who refuse to wear pastels stand out all the more. 😉
I could rehash the whole video-game/porn scenario but I won’t. I would like to say, though, that I appreciate friendly, open conversation with men on relevant topics. It stimulates me and gives me a whole new perspective that I don’t naturally think about as a woman. I can tell which guys are the ones who are zoned out on video games and girls. Open thought and clear vision distinguishes a man.
This is the best I can offer of my personal opinion. What I truly desire in a husband, though, is what God’s desires in manhood. “He hath shewed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the LORD require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God?” (Micah 6:8) Just fear God. Similarly, this is the same source of a woman’s truth worth (Prov. 31:30).
On a personal note, I’m attracted to Priests because I need their steadiness to encourage me to be steady. I’m a Dreamer/Servant but definitely tend towards planning my multiple brilliant ideas… and not doing them due to attention deficit disorder (I know, lame excuse :D). Command definitely lights a fire under me but sometimes it just makes me even less motivated (my daddy’s a king, remember :). Most Priests I know are huge on encouragement. I thrive on encouragement. It inspires me, and when I’m inspired, I’m like a tornado. Ha! So, I think I could really get things done at the side of a Priest.
As a postscript, I’d like to say that when boys become men, even if mothers are reluctant to let go, they are hugely pleased — as are the wives of those men, I might add.
God, give us good men! We’re all for you, even if we are a bit hard on ya at times. 😉
I’m curious why you think guys shouldn’t wear pink. If it really is because of gender-blurring, then women should not wear blue. (You know, the whole “baby boys wear blue, baby girls wear pink” thing. 🙂 ) I’m not trying to attack what you said, I’m just pointing out that maybe this is more of a personal preference than a hard-and-fast rule that means if a guy wears pink, he is a sissy. My sister won’t marry a guy who rides ATVs through the woods (because they disturb the wildlife and annoy the people like us who hike for miles instead of riding ATVs) – that doesn’t mean a guy who rides ATVs through the woods is ungodly or lacking in character. Please understand that I’m not trying to start up a debate about pink here. 🙂 There’s nothing wrong with having personal preferences – we just have to be careful to keep them in the “personal preference” file instead of the “sissy v. strong man” file. 🙂
While I don’t like guys wearing pink, I think you’re right about it being a personal preference. My uncles wear pink and they’re still great men.
🙂 I have this thing about guys who wear clothes with certain name brands splashed all across the front. Not that the guys who dress like that are immoral or un-manly or anything; there are just connotations with certain clothing labels and the people who proudly advertise for those companies by wearing their logo on their chests. Just a quirky personal preference. Isn’t it weird the funny things we notice? 🙂
I’ve noticed that too. Not just in guys, but girls also. I mean, there’s nothing wrong with buying a name brand shirt (especially if it’s Goodwill!) but it distracts from your face and basically makes you a walking billboard for that company. Again, not that there’s anything wrong with that, it’s just something to think about.
To me the whole thing about guys wearing pink is disgusting. I don’t have very strong points about guys NOT wearing pink, but I sure wouldn’t want my husband or my sons to wear pink, ever, if I’d have one! Not so much because it is a ‘girls’ color, even though it is, but more because to me a guy wearing pink portrays rebellion, maybe? I’m not sure if rebellion is exactly the right word to put in. But we’ve all seen the pink shirt that says ‘tough guys wear pink’, and that’s exactly that. It makes them seem ‘tough, and I’m not just going to bend to your ways for nothing!’
I hope you get what I’m trying to put out. It’s not because pink is a girls color that I don’t like guys to wear it, but because it seems more like an attitude behind it.
I am a Go-to gal,and I am attracted to Kingly and Steady types. Being a naturally “commanding” personality, I think I’d be able to understand a kingly man. My dad is a Steady, 🙂 and I would love to find a young man similar to him.
I am very put off by geeky, wimpy, video-game-playing guys- city boys who look like they’ve never gotten their hands dirty.
I don’t like it if a guy seems too concerned with the way he looks and dresses.
A mama’s boy doesn’t really stand on his own and take responsibility for his life- he would not be ready to lead a wife and family.
So interesting that so many of us agree on video games!
To me, video gaming is a sign of passivity-of living in a fantasy world where the challenges are really just illusions. It makes me question whether the young man would be able, or even willing, to take on real world challenges that a wife and family bring.
I guess maybe I should not say specifically video games, and instead say useless, mindconsuming, timeconsuming, immature obsessions in general. 🙂 Video games are just the quintessential example to me…
All of your responses are wounderful. I am shocked that so many of you said that video playing guys would be a no for you, I agree completely. I tell all the girls I counsel to stay away from men that play excessive video games. It is good to know that I am not the only one that thinks this. I am so thankful that it is not one of my husbands obsessions. Now I have another question, “if you knew that the man you were going to be married to some day was going to be in the ministry, what would you want to tell him?”
I’m glad you found our responses helpful. 🙂 I was surprised also to see how many of us said that video game playing guys were a no! 😮
I would tell him to remember to prioritize. (As in keep God as #1, Family #2, Ministry #3.) I’m remind him to pray . . . always. And I’d tell him that I will be with him every step of the way, and together we can change the world with God’s help. ♥
I am an 18 year old go-to type with a bit of dreamer; like many of the other ladies said, a man who plays video games is not very attractive. I suppose when I see a mother constantly reminding her son to do something it conveys to me that he is still dependent on her to get things done as she did when he was a child. Responsibility and initiative are very attractive in a man and someone who still relies on his mama to make calls, fill out paperwork, etc. does not reflect a man who is ready to support a family, even if he does not have a complaining spirit. I used to always find myself attracted to command men and leaders; the ones who spoke up first. However, I have a growing attraction for those steady and visionary men. I realize that all men were created to and can be leaders (in the home, church, etc.) and that does not mean they have to be command men. Although sometimes it bothers me, I have respect for the men who can just sit back and watch in an argument or a stressful situation. Honestly, I can picture myself being a help meet to any of the three types of men but steady/visionary men who can recognize the need for leadership and are willing to step outside their comfort zones are very impressive. Perhaps I am asking too much 🙂
I just want to say, being a married woman, you young ladies are really thinking. I thought about similar things as you but not in as much detail when I was looking for Mr. Right, but not in such clear terms. I think this was because we did not have as many resources to read and learn from.
I look forward to read more of your responses.
Caralee, it’s good to have you back! It seems like we haven’t heard from you much on here in a while. I always appreciate your insight on these threads.
Life has been very busy for us as I am expecting my 5th little blessing in about a week!
Also, I have a tendency to spend too much time on this site and neglect my other duties, so I have really cut down my posts.
I am a Dreamer/Servant.
Occupation/Past Time/Obsession:
Though I am not really picky about what type of job my future husband has, I’d prefer not to have a husband with an occupation that took him away for long periods of time. Military, Sailing, Trucking, Overseas Pilot etc.
I think video games are a waste of time. I don’t want them to be a habit for my future husband.
Partying, drinking and porn are a definite no.
As far as obsessions go, I don’t want a husband obsessed with fashion. I appreciate a well-dressed guy, but not one who lives for it.
What makes a “mama’s boy” in my eyes:
Someone that doesn’t have a vision for life, and someone who expects to be served all the time.
Type of guy that attracts me:
I have a wonderful, steady father and find that I tend to be attracted to that, though I also appreciate a Prophet type. I know the Lord will give me grace if I marry a King, but for the most part I’m not attracted to them.
Other than that:
I love a handy guy. Someone that is able to fix things!
Someone that has a vision for life, whether it be as “small” as raising a godly family, or big as moving to a different country to share the gospel, assuming he is taking steps to accomplish that vision.
I appreciate an athletic guy, but not a body builder.
“if you knew that the man you were going to be married to some day was going to be in the ministry, what would you want to tell him?”
That as his wife, I would do all I could to help him. I would want to be as involved in his ministry as was possible, and still have meals on the table, and a house in order! I have seen families fall apart where the father (in ministry) lives such a detached life that the family suffers.
What Guys Should Know: 🙂
Relationship deterrents:
1. Anger problems
My dad had some very serious anger problems early in marriage and it really affected us kids. Praise the Lord he is a changed man and our family is healing but honestly I don’t know if I would want to walk that road as a wife. I have a very strong Servant streak and I’m not sure that I would handle it well. I have always thought that when I am courting a man I want to ask his mom and sisters how he deals with anger. I understand that any man I marry will only be human and will get angry but how does he respond? Does he explode? Does he think about it and cultivate bitterness?
I have noticed guys from hard families or first generation Christians are more likely to have anger problems out of frustration and trying to deal with their past. I understand this and would prayerfully consider a man who was truly seeking God but I would really want to get some good counseling during the first years of marriage from a older godly couple.
2. Sarcasm
Honestly, sarcasm hurts. I can tend to be a little bit too sensitive but I have also been told that I am very genuine and I think that’s why I don’t like sarcasm, you never know when its in jest or if someone is trying to subtly tell you something. Even if its in jest, there’s no good reason to always be negative. Encouraging words bring life. Dare to be different and actually tell people the good things you notice about them instead of always poking fun at their faults.
3. Laziness
One of the most attractive things in a man is a hard worker. Some one who is willing to work hard, get dirty, and sacrifice himself will be a good husband, father, and provider. I always notice young men who are helping out without drawing attention to themselves. When someone is helping and making sure everyone knows it they lose points because a true diligent worker will find work to be its own reward. Someone who always needs a pat on the back and recognition will not be able to be depended on when life gets hard and there’s opposition. I am always attracted to the true servant. The one who is always looking for needs and serving in any capacity that is needed whether they are out in front or behind the seances. I think this shows a lot of humility, that its not about you but that you are working for a cause that is greater than yourself. It is about reflecting Jesus instead of glorifying yourself. If you always have to be out front where everyone knows you’re helping than you are looking for the praise of men and your reward won’t last outside of this lifetime.
I agree with the others on this site that things like video games are such a time waster and relationship buster. By the time a young man is considering marriage he should have put away such childish things though I don’t think video games are a good use of time for children either. The world encourages men to be passive and lazy. Believe me, godly women will notice a man who delights in the work the Lord has given him and puts his whole heart into it.
4. Foolishness
The other thing about young men these days, they are so foolish and shallow!! There is a time and place for humor and it is a blessing. I’m not even trying to say that I wouldn’t consider someone who is the life of the party but there is a difference between someone who has deep thoughts and yet enjoys being lighthearted and someone who never utters a sensible word but is constantly joking around and is never serious. The world desperately needs godly young men to fight for justice and righteousness, to live for things that matter.
” Young men likewise exhort to be sober minded. In all things shewing thyself a pattern of good works: in doctrine shewing uncorruptness, gravity, sincerity, Sound speech, that cannot be condemned; that he that is of the contrary part may be ashamed, having no evil thing to say of you. ” Titus 2:6-8
Obviously someone who is actually seeking God wholeheartedly is a must but I didn’t even include that in my list because if they’re not serious about their walk with the Lord than they’re not even a option to consider.
Something else guys should know:
We watching them. All the time. When I am interested in some one I watch them to see if their character is consistent. How do they treat people at church? Outside of church? How do they treat their mom? Annoying sister? Their grandma? Kids? I can hardly contain myself when I see a young man who is the same gentleman to the girls his age, the 90 year old grandma, and with kids. He is like a diamond in the rough. We are watching you and will notice if your life doesn’t add up. However, consistent change and repentance will also be noted. Someone who is humble enough to admit they were wrong and actually follow through on changes would defiantly be an option. You will make mistakes in your life and it is refreshing to find someone who is humble before God and is following His leading even if it means lots of change and turning in repentance. Someone like that would be a great spiritual leader.
What is mama’s boy?
Someone who is still letting their parents make decisions for them. When a man has reached a point where he is considering marriage he should be a man and not a little boy always bending to his parents will. Not that there isn’t a place for godly counsel and asking for advice but a man should be making his own decisions and living with the consequences. They should be independent. Not that they can’t work at a family business or still live at home. You can tell when someone has a vision of their own or when they are living their parents dream. Get godly counsel and then get on your face before God and seek His will for your life. Don’t let your mom tell you when God’s will is for your life. Don’t always be bending to your parents intrusive demands to keep the peace. Practice good boundaries now. It will save your wife a lot of heartache it you don’t let her in laws call the shots the first couple years of marriage. The Bible says she is to submit to you-not your mom. And I’m not talking to you teenagers who want an excuse to break free from all parental oversight. I’m talking to young men who have graduated from school and are starting to build their own lives and are contemplating bringing a wife along on the journey. Someone who is mature, not a rebellious youth.
Anyway, hope these thoughts help! I am a dreamer/servant with Go To qualities learned from my mom but not natural to my personality. I don’t know what type I am attracted to but I would think a steady/visionary because I want someone who is going somewhere in life but has the wisdom, patience, and diligence to actually get there. Does that make sense? I like someone with a vision but not if their head is so high in the clouds that they never actually accomplish anything. 😉
I would also agree with others on here that not paying your own way = mama’s boy. Financial indepence is so important! Not that I expect a lot. I’m willing to eat rice and beans and live in an appartment if it means you’ll be my man. 😉 However, loaned money strains family relationships and gives the inlaws influence in your desicion making. Honestly, this doesn’t mean you need to have a lot of money put aside. Some of the strongest marriages I see are couples who started out broke and I am very willing to walk that path. However, if you are going to go that route you need to be indepenent- willing to go without instead of depending on family to fill in the gaps. I actually believe in getting married fairly young which means most couples would be living on peanuts for the first few years. But it’s about the journey. The character that is built in these struggles is priceless. Indepence and vision are so imporant for sucess. Someone with vision and a can do attitude may start out at the bottom but God will see that he rises to the top.
I agree! A man in searching doesn’t have to be able to afford much. Seriously, I think this is one of the major reasons there are so many single people! Guys, not all of us need or want all of the things you may think we do! If you can afford someplace to live separate from your parents, and can pay the basic bills (lights, food, clothes, gas for car, health/life/car insurance, phone, etc.) without debt (besides a mortgage if you want a house, but even a house is not necessary) then you shouldn’t be afraid to start looking for a wife. We don’t need TV, to eat expensive dinners, movie tickets, fancy furniture, a fancy car, that set of china, or huge house. Many of us would rather be married and poor than to be single because you can’t afford these things! I want to jump on board with you on your journey, whether financially successful or not!
Exactly. Guys, don’t think that at age 22 you have to be as established as a man who’s twice your age. We don’t expect you to be as mature, wealthy and established in a career as you might think. Like Evelyn said, if you can afford to live on your own, pay the bills and keep the family fed, we’re not going to complain about second-hand furniture, mis-matched dishes or old cars. Ever heard the old country song by Alan Jackson called “Livin’ on Love?” It’s one of my favorites, mostly because it’s so true. 🙂
I loooove this question…. well… I´m a 60% go-to, 30% dreamer, 20% servant type 22 year-old girl. And I´m attracted to visionary guys, I like their ideas, plans and perseverance, I like their innitiative and diligence working. I like adventure!
Well, I’d tell him that I´m glad that he is going to be working for the Lord, that that’s an answered prayer. I´d tell him that I´m going to be his help meet in this job that the Lord has given to him in every way the Lord guides Him; BUT I’d also tell him that his main ministry is his family; me and aour sons and daughters and that that has to be his main objetive in his life; to love, serve and disciple his family and that I´m going to be helping and supporting him in this important job too. I’d remind him to pray without ceasing, to prepare, to be a godly example, to depend on the Lord, but more than everything to know more and more Jesus.
And I´d tell him that it doesn´t matter what it happens; if we are persecuted, mistrated, if we get extremely poor, whatever it happens I will love him and support him in whatever the Lord calls him….
Well I´d love to marry a man who wants to live his life fully for Christ, so that´s what I think……
i just want to agree with everything that was said here! I don’t think I could add anymore. I think that it is very encouraging when the guy is active in serving God and isn’t worried about what others think of him, only worried about what God thinks of him!
“if you knew that the man you were going to be married to some day was going to be in the ministry, what would you want to tell him?”
I’d echo what CJ said, but add that it is very important to impart to his (possible) future wife/wife/kids why/how he is ministering, how God called him to it, why it is important, and include his kids in it from a very young age if at all possible. I have heard/of and seen so many kids/wives of pastors/missionaries/etc. that have become disillusioned with ministry because it seemed to only take the Dad away from them. In my opinion, as long as it is safe, Dad-in-ministry should take at least part of the family with him some of the time.
I’d tell him to be careful when looking for women that are totally sold out for God — make sure she is willing to change her current ways of serving God to what God would have you both be doing together. It could be difficult if she is completely giving up how she used to be serving others and doesn’t have a role in outside-the-family ministry any more. I’d tell him to watch out for Jezebels-in-training and overspiritual women (perhaps they would look more attractive to a man in ministry?)
Also that he should probably think about what the strengths of his wife would need to be in the context of his ministry… for example is a too results oriented go-to going to steal the joy of a laid back sort of ministry, or is she going to be the one to organize the disorder? is the untamed/too flighty dreamer going to get a bright idea and run in the opposite direction he’s going, or is she the one that sparks the new format that draws people in? is that particular servant going to be too shy to participate in counseling females, or is she going to be fine with doing whatever needs to be done? I think this will vary a lot for the different men in ministry but the men certainly need to think about what traits will/will not be conducive to their type of ministry.
and that there are girls out there that aren’t wanting the “white picket fenced house” dream and want to follow wherever the Lord may lead him.
But like others have said family must be #1!!
If he is going to be in ministry it may also help the wife to feel more secure if he has some other skill that would keep the lights on if financially things weren’t going well… like if he could paint houses or something… that thought in the back of the wife’s head might make her more happy to follow of on some of the “crazy” (well not so crazy if God is in it! haha) ideas.
Totally agree with you–but shouldn’t family be #2 after God as #1?
You’re totally right CJ. I could have better phrased what I was trying to say as “Family should be his number one ministry” in that fathers need to remember that they are a very important factor in their children coming to know God and that is the primary responsibility, a father to his children.
OK, just wanted to clarify. 😉 Agree with all of that. 🙂
Love your name, btw!!!
I am 110% dreamer.
“What type of occupation, past time, or obsessions would deter you from a guy, even if he was “the perfect guy?”
Excessive video games, definitely! I can’t stand it when I see a young man, so ripe with potential, who could be working hard and accomplishing great things for God, sitting around playing video games. It’s such a shame, and I believe, it demonstrates immaturity, laziness, lack of self-control, and a lack of vision and get-up-and-go. As far as other obsessions, I am a dreamer, and I have quite a few of my own obsessions, so I understand. As long as it’s not something bad, I would probably enthusiastically jump on board and help him with each new endeavor.
*What type of behavior do you see in a guy that portrays that he is a “mama’s boy.”
Remaining emotionally and financially dependent upon his mother. I don’t know many men of this type, but I think a young man who is hooked on his mother’s approval and looks to her for his direction in life and his sense of self-worth, and who allows her to control his life, is definitely a mama’s boy. Not very attractive. A man needs to be able to stand on his own two feet, know his convictions, and not need to have his mother’s approval for everything he does.
*What type of guy are you attracted to and why are you attracted to them?I am attracted to steady men because they are easy-going and pleasant and I enjoy being around them. My brother is a steady man and I want to marry someone just like him. Most of the kings and prophets I know tend to be uptight and irritable. They take the smallest things in life so seriously as if they are life or death matters. I want an easy-going, cheerful man who is pleasant to be around, not one who is stretched tight as a drawstring and ready to snap when the smallest thing goes wrong or someone slightly annoys them. I don’t want an angry, moody man. Cheerfulness ranks among the highest qualities I will look for in a husband.
I want my steady man to be a manly man, though! My brother is the perfect balance. Though he is extremely tender and sweet with his wife and baby son, he knows his convictions and will not budge. When a situation calls for something unpleasant, such as a necessary confrontation, he does not shy away from it and does what he needs to do, though he treats the situation with grace and humility. He has his own business and is not afraid to give orders and oversee things, but again, he treats everyone with respect.
I am most attracted to country men who earn their living with their hands and by the sweat of their brow, though I suppose I wouldn’t be entirely opposed to marrying a city man. Something about a man who sits at computers or behind a desk all day is very unattractive to me, however. The kind I like best are real men: ones who are dirty and sweaty, with calloused hands, and weather-beaten blue jeans, but who have a smile on their face, a love for God in their heart, and an honesty, gentleness and respect for all those around them. A good, solid, down-to-earth man. They are a rare find anymore!
He must be a man of vision, who loves God above all else and who has a vision in life for serving him. Not a lazy couch potato, but a man who is passionate and on-fire for the Lord.
“If you knew that the man you were going to be married to some day was going to be in the ministry, what would you want to tell him?”
I would tell him to make sure that once he is married, his full-time ministry is to his family before his other ministry. So many men in the Bible and throughout history have lost the hearts of their children because they neglected to put them first. Eli, David, and Billy Sunday are just a few examples. Next, I would say, make sure before you marry, that your future wife will be fully on board with you in ministry. Nothing is more sad then a man on fire with a vision, but with a selfish, unwilling wife holding him back. Next, I would encourage him to go for it! Follow the path that God is leading you down! Put your all into whatever God puts in your hand to do, whether it be a business, your family, or a ministry, or all three!
I’m a Go-To/Dreamer girl. I’m 20.
*What type of occupation, past time, or obsessions would deter you from a guy, even if he was “the perfect guy.”
occupation… Not really any occupation, unless unlaw, would deter me.
past time/obsessions… If he is a VIDEO/COMPUTAR GAME freak I wouldn’t cancel him in my mind as a possibility (God can work with anything) but I feel it would be a harmful trait to pass on to future generations.
*What type of behavior do you see in a guy that portrays that he is a “mama’s boy.”
CONSTANT indecision. Even Visionary types, though often undecided, usually will answer solidly when they make up their mind (even if he might change that next week). A “mama’s boy” will never answer surely or directly but will ALWAYS seem to NOT know for sure.
*What type of guy are you attracted to and why are you attracted to them?
I’m a Go-to-Gal/Dreamer. I like the Steady man he would be good to guide and curve my headstrongness, but I would have to learn NOT to take over. I also like the Dreamer man. I wouldn’t mind if he wasn’t sure what he wanted to be, I like change. And his Visions would give me a goal. Being a Go-To I like to get a task and complete it.
As to the question about ministry… I agree with the prioritizing, but in a different way. As his wife, I would want my husband to know that his service to the Lord is most important. I don’t want my husband to be all for me and our children, but First for the Lord. Yes, a husband provides and cares for his family, but I would want his first priority to be the service that God has called him in.
… just another thought!
If God were to call my man into a ministry… I would tell him, “I’m surrendered to do God’s will; I’m following you!”
This is so-o-o vital, girls. I’ve known of marriages torn apart because God called the husband into the ministry and the wife wasn’t surrendered. We need to realize that when we are married, we’re in this thing together — “heirs together of the grace of life.” (I Pet. 3:7) His calling becomes our calling. When God calls him, God calls YOU as his help meet. You can’t protest, “Well, God didn’t call ME to be a missionary… to be a pastor’s wife, etc.” You may feel totally, ridiculously ill-equipped, and you may even question his sanity, but God’s calling is a MUST. Sometimes God’s call those who are equipped, and other times He equips those whom He calls.
And then there are the other ladies who believe they are called into full-time ministry… but God never called their husbands. You follow, you don’t lead. And if God hasn’t called him, you aren’t called either. You can have a ministry anywhere, you can share the Gospel with anyone, you can make a difference right where you are — so get busy! Your first and most important ministry is to your husband.
Now that I’m off that rabbit trail… 😀
If God called my man into a ministry such as foreign missions, pastoring a church, or serving in a ministry within our local church, I would assure my man that I’m praying for him, I’m with him all the way, and I will do all I can to help shoulder the load. I would tell him that I’m not afraid to follow him as he follows God. I would remind him that his first ministry is our family, and he must seek the Lord above everything!
I would also ask him how we need to prepare for that ministry. What kind of training do we need? Are there things I need to change in my life, things that would hinder me from being effective as his help meet in this calling?
GREAT question, Shalom!
If my husband was going to be in the ministry, I would tell him try to steer clear of being prideful. I think people that go to seminary have more of a tendency to be proud, since they have more of a chance to know ‘everything’. Also I would tell him that he should focus a lot on relationships. Relationships are *very* important in ministry, especially in the church.
I’m an 18 year old Aussie girl – mostly Go-To Gal with a bit of Dreamer thrown in for good measure. I’m learning to be a servant. 🙂
I have not been in any relationship as yet, but I have seen many guys that I know I wouldn’t want to date or court. My list isn’t really that complex:
He must love God with his heart and soul
He must be willing and ready for the responsibility of a wife and family
and a have good sense of humor and some spontaneity.
I need to see that a guy is content in his calling, I need to know he is secure both emotionally and financially, not just bumming around at home all day. I don’t really mind what his occupation is, so long as he does his best with what he has. There is no excuse for sitting around at home, waiting for life to happen. Mama’s boys are afraid to go out and make their own life – the life they are creating now is the one we girls are going to join. I think everyone should have a past-time, a hobby they enjoy, within certain limits. If the activity is a financial waste of money, if it shuts off the person from friends for excessive amounts of time or is becoming addictive, then it is not good. I know a lot of guys who like to play their video games once every now and then. But given the opportunity, they will put down their consoles and help their mother around the house, or go out and meet friends.
I am personally attracted to guys who are friendly, who look me in the eye when they talk to me and can hold a decent conversation. I find it refreshing when guys can talk without cursing, and taking God’s name in vain. I am attracted to guys who are well groomed and can dress well, and are also physically fit. You don’t have to be Mr Muscle man, but if I have bigger muscles than you, we have a problem. I need a guy who I know will protect me and stand up for me, therefore I am attracted to the gentle giants, who have strength, humility, confidence and courage. I am attracted to passionate men who know where their life is headed, and who have a game plan for the future. I don’t mind if that’s gonna change, at least we’re aiming somewhere!
As for the sissy pants – they are a huge turnoff!
What I would like to say to every guy who is going into full-time ministry: Family comes first! All the New Testament passages that discuss the qualifications for a “bishop” (i.e. pastor, elder, deacon, etc.) state that the man must have his household in control. Otherwise, how can he take care of the church of God? (1 Timothy 3:1-13, Titus 1:6-9)
An elder in my church (whose kids are now grown with families of their own) stood up in front of the church during an elder ordination and told the new elders and the congregation that church must always come before family. This is wrong! Nowhere does the Bible give a pattern for this. Yes, Jesus Christ must come before all else. (If you were faced with the decision to deny Christ or have someone hurt your family, the choice would be extremely difficult but clear.) But nowhere does scripture say that family gets second place behind church business. If you’re too busy visiting people from the church and attending meetings to spend time with your wife and teach and train your children, there is something badly out of balance. You must draw boundaries to avoid neglecting your family. I suppose it’s the same with any job or occupation, but it seems like men tend to think that neglecting their families is okay if it’s for a “good cause,” like full-time Christian ministry. Guys, please don’t fall into this trap!
Okay, I’m a little behind on answering Shalom’s first set of questions, but I’ll post my answers anyway. I’m about 70% Go-to and 25% Servant with a splash of Dreamer thrown in there.
What types of occupations or obsessions would deter you from a guy?
-VIDEO GAMES
-excessive time spent using electronics of any sort
-jobs that involve lots of travel and being away from home
-hobbies that are likely to cause serious injuries or death (Rodeos are the big one for me, probably because there are a lot of guys around here that do that. Some of them have major permanent injuries that will affect what kind of jobs they can get, and a lot of these guys are only in their teens. I understand the whole adrenaline rush thing, but if a guy wants to be married and raise children, he has to find a hobby that isn’t going to get him maimed or killed.)
What shows that a guy is a mama’s boy? (Please keep in mind that I’m thinking in terms of guys my own age and older (20s and older, not living with their parents anymore. Some of this wouldn’t apply to a younger guy who is still living at home.)
-he can’t make small decisions without consulting his momma
-doesn’t have opinions on important matters
-when you ask him a question, he always answers, “My mom says….” or “my family believes…….” (I don’t care if he quotes his parents – it can show that he respects and values their opinions and advice, but he needs to have his own opinions)
-is whiney or complains a lot
-gets offended easily by teasing
-is moody or has a bad attitude
-he’s not confident and can’t interact with people
-is overly picky (about clothes, food, etc.)
-rides on his parents’ spiritual coattails (he can quote Bible verses and maybe even tell you what he believes, but can’t explain why or share a personal testimony of salvation)
What kind of guy are you attracted to and why?
-I like a Steady Command man because I want a guy who will take charge but not be overbearing, bossy or domineering
-A total Visionary would probably wear me to a frazzle, but I like a guy with some spunk and a tad bit of unpredictability
– I’m attracted to a guy who looks respectable (clean and neat clothes and hair, and yep, those skinny chick jeans absolutely black-ball you!)
– He doesn’t need to be a bodybuilder, but I want a guy who works out and is in good shape (example: I don’t want to marry a guy that I can pick up and carry, but he can’t pick me up and carry me. 🙂 )
-He must be neat and orderly (i.e. his house/apartment, car, office, etc. shouldn’t look like a stampede of pigs just ran through. Doesn’t have to be spotless, but there shouldn’t be mountains of junk lying around and mold growing on dishes that have been sitting in the sink for 3 weeks.)
– Guys, the way you treat your mom and sisters is exactly how you will treat your wife. A guy who respects, cherishes and takes care of his mom and sisters will catch my eye, whether he’s handsome, athletic, educated and talented or not.
Oh, and I guess maybe I should mention that I’m almost 19 yrs. old. 🙂
Here’s what my 16-year-old sister had to say (she is 110% Servant):
What occupations or obsessions would deter you from a guy:
– jobs that require a lot of travel
– spending too much time watching sports
– excessively dangerous sports
What type of behavior indicates that a guy is a mama’s boy?
-he whines and complains
– doesn’t have a lot of guy friends/doesn’t like hanging out with real men
– “shies away from all things physically or mentally difficult” (those were her exact words – they made me smile 🙂 )
– “lacking in vigor” (her exact words again – sometimes she just has a way of saying things……)
What kind of guy are you attracted to and why?
– wouldn’t like a strong command because they come across as annoying and self-serving, but I don’t mind some Command in a guy
-Would like a Visionary because they are exciting and I’m lacking in excitement
-“Would like a Steady because they’re like me and I understand them and we would have a nice time on our little farm” (her exact words again 🙂 )
-keeps his space (house, office, car, etc.) clean and neat
– treats siblings and mom well
-health conscious and keeps himself in good shape
-doesn’t flirt
-I don’t respect a guy who is completely unscheduled
-looks respectable (no baggy, boxer-baring pants, no long hair, etc.)
– uses his money wisely
Im 20 and Im mostly a dreamer
1. Occupations, past time, or obsession would deter me would be: obsessed with things immoral or movies that promoted immorality. Obession with violence would bother me I know boys enjoy there action movies and battle scenes but a above normal obsession would be a huge problem for me. An occupation in the military or government or politics would deter me from a guy.
2. constantly let his mom control/ manipulate him into doing things. Allowing His mother to guilt him into stuff. but I would value a man who respects, honors and loves his mother it shows he will be a good husband.
3. Im attracted to Men who work hard are not afraid to take charge and be a leader. A man who is not insecure and will help cook, and clean, and doesn’t think that helping with those things questions his manliness. A man who loves God and is actively seeking his will who calls me to grow in christ. Im attracted to a man who knows how how to fix cars and machines and build things. So maybe Im attracted to a steady Man.
Hooray for another book! Thanks for including us in its creation!
I am a servant type, with a little dreamer mixed in there too.
*What type of occupation, past time, or obsessions would deter you from a guy, even if he was “the perfect guy.”
When I first read this question, I thought, “if he had anything like that, then he wouldn’t be the perfect guy!” The big one for me is a job that required, or might require, working on Sundays. If a guy is willing to overlook his commitment to his Lord, he’s less likely to be faithful to his wife/family.
About video games…I have to admit that I don’t mind a guy who likes to play once in a while. (I enjoy a few games also, so I see them as something we could do together.) Of course, it depends on the kind of game. I know there are some out there that are absolutely inappropriate, and I wouldn’t want my man being interested in those. I really like a guy who enjoys playing video games, but is not obsessed with them. He likes to play, but he can (and does) walk away and enjoy other things.
*What type of guy are you attracted to and why are you attracted to them?
i.e. “I am a dreamer and I am attracted to king types because I like leadership.”
I am most attracted to Priestly men. I think that is because my dad is an excellent example of a servant. I admire a man who is willing to help others. Thinking about it, the few guys I have been interested in have been Priests, with a little Kingship in there, quiet guys who are also strong leaders.
“if you knew that the man you were going to be married to some day was going to be in the ministry, what would you want to tell him?”
I would tell him that I support him, and pray for him. I would want him to know he can depend on me to be there for him, and do what needs to be done to make him successful in whatever work the Lord has for him to do.
The other girls have covered a lot of what I would want to tell guys. I do want to add this though: I don’t want my husband to be in a profession that means he has to be alone with women often… or ever. Especially something like a GYN/OB or where women would be “spilling” their feelings/thoughts out to him (counselor or psychiatrist).
I’m a Go-to/Servant and I always admire Command Men (my dad is a Command Man), but I’d love to marry a Steady/King <3
If my husband was called into the ministry I would want to tell him that wherever he was called I've been called too. I've been created to be his help meet. We'll serve the Lord together. I'll do what I can to help him, even if it means I "just" support him and pray for him.
I also want to know that the man I marry seeks to please the Lord in his life so I’ll know I can trust him to do the right thing even when he makes decisions I don’t agree with.
And guys that make people laugh are really fun to be around, unless they’re never serious. Then they’re just annoying. So please, be your funny self but know when to be serious too. 😀
So true. I think some guys (and girls too) hide their insecurities behind humor. I also like guys with a good sense of humor, but if humor is all there is to a guy, he’s a pretty shallow dude and I’m not interested.
I’m primarily a Dreamer with some Go-To traits, and tend to be drawn to the Steady type. Though a healthy dose of Visionary and/or King is just fine, I find the Steady to be the most attractive. I think that there is sometimes a misconception about the guys with more laid-back personalities-sure, they may move a bit slower, and may not come across quite as macho as the other two, but they are still real MEN. I find a stable, dependable guy who acts as an anchor to those around him to be just as masculine and essential as the go-for-it type of guy. The Steady type radiates a peaceful, constant, stable security that is so crucial in any type of relationship or social setting, ie family, workplace, etc. They are the supporting pillars and firm foundations that keep the rest of society grounded and safe. If these men were taken away, everything would collapse!!! They may be gentle, but they are not push-overs. They may be sympathetic, but they aren’t mushy. They have strong roots, think before they act, and provide balance.
Wow!I’ve loved all your books and can’t wait to see this one come out! Do we have any e.t.a? 🙂
Our chance to tell the guys what we think, huh? 🙂 I found the comments from the guys in ‘Preparing’ very helpful, so will go ahead and shoot.
I am mostly a Dreamer with a touch of servant. Vision is what drives me!
“I am looking for a man who will follow His God to the ends of the earth – a man who walks close to Christ and treasures His will above all else. I don’t care about money, looks, a big house and white picket fence…I want a man who will pour himself out for the weak. Who will rise up in indignation at the sight of the suffering and in the strength of his GOD declare “Not on my watch!” Such a man is worth following to the ends of the earth. Our generation needs such men.
There is nothing more attractive to me in a man than seeing the fire in his eyes; the zeal for Christ and His kingdom…than seeing a life laid down – courage that clings to the cross.
Please, young men, RISE UP IN THE STRENGTH OF GOD and stand firm for truth and righteousness’ sake. Plead the cause of the helpless. “Break every yoke.” (Isaiah 58: 6-8) Live out Job 29 – that is the blueprint for godly manhood. “Break the jaws of the wicked, and pluck the spoil out of his teeth!” (Job 29:17)”
YAY! SO GLAD this book is being written! My husband has been so blessed by CTNAHM, not just as a husband, but also understanding himself as a man.
I am a dreamer, married to a visionary/king, who has just enough steadiness thrown in to take good care of his family – and take out the trash without fail every week! My Dad is a steady/visionary, and I was raised non-Christian with a major feminist influence, so the King part has been a big struggle for me to adapt to. However, I am SO thankful to have married a visionary man! I would be bored stiff without all the fun this wild ride has offered. And I would probably feel totally crushed under an extreme command man. One of the best things about a dreamer/visionary match is that we can dream together. As I have allowed him freedom to pursue his various projects, without impatience or criticism, he has been equally supportive in allowing me to pursue many of my own creative projects (that don’t detract from our home & family). I do appreciate his Kingly side (when it’s not too gruff!), as I have needed his strong leadership to help me stay focused and not give myself over to all my dreamings.
I hope my comments help.
Faith T.
One more response… when I was still “available”, I was totally turned off by any so-called man who was obsessed with useless games – be they sports or video games. Also, any man too much into TV, movies, or even fiction reading. Such time wasters that take away from time spent with family, living life and serving the Lord!
Okay, just one more thing… ever since I met my husband, I have always been attracted by his strength, self-reliance, hard-workingness, servant-heartedness, and manly skills. He has always had rough hands because he knows how to work with them! He knows how to change oil or a flat tire, do landscaping, fix plumbing, and other minor repairs. He knows how to use a variety of tools. And since we’ve been married, he has learned how to build homes, do all kinds of mechanics, and even taught himself how to build a computer. He is tanned and strong, built like a “real man”!
1. I think its funny that we’d even have to think that “boys” the baggy pants and “cute” hair, would even read this book!!?? Seriously! I think that it’ll be man who do read it!
2. I am glad that video games came up, I never even thought twice about video games being a problem!! I think a guy who plays a lot of games like that or watches piles of foolish movies could already have other quality traits that would be a turn off to a godly lady who is looking of a man! I do love to see guys active! like if they enjoy hunting, volley ball, arm wrestling or anything that gets they some honest sweat and good competition!
3. Mamas boy!!? That would scare the pants off me to be marrying a man who wanted his mother opinion other than mine or wasn’t able to make choices without consulting her.
A man who didn’t stand up to his mother when concerning me would be heartbreaking!! I am guessing, (from personal experience) that a mamas boys mama would have a hard time with what ever girl he would
choose. I could see how a lot of the reason behind why he might be a mamas boy, is the mothers fault or more the father fault for not making the young man stand on his own. tell the Pearls to have a lengthily chapter on this topic!! I much rather love a man who made his own mistakes then those mistakes of his parents!!!!
Tell the young man that they have NO idea how much influence that they have over the girl in their life. they have the ability to help us grow into the woman that God wants us to be. A girl with a humble spirit and a deep desire to obey God will be a girl who will learn from your example of love. She mightn’t be perfect…. she might have a lot of imperfections that are hard for you to always over look, a few mistakes in her past, an imperfect background……..ext. A lot of girls just need a man in their lives to help them bloom! Sounds like a challenge!
I absolutely love your response and agree with everything you said!!! I honestly wish i could give you more than one thumbs up!
Wow I agree with most of your comments girls! I want a man that will stand up and be the leader in his home……take charge and be “Courageous” It definitely turns me off to see a guy who talks to ALL the girls and spends lots of time flirting with them.
One the ministry side of things…..I would love if my husband was involved in ministry….but would want him to remember; DON’T TRY TO SAVE THE WHOLE WORLD AND LOSE YOUR OWN FAMILY! I have seen this happen in many lives of Godly men who were so busy saving the lost their family and kids got left in the dust and rebelled. I was also thinking….we girls are pretty picky with what we want in guys…..not wasting their time with movies, novels etc. We need to make sure we don’t find ourselves in that trap either:)
Great Blog and God Bless
As a previous Pastor’s daughter, I want to add some requests for young men who are going into the ministry…
Know the Word of God. Study it so that you know the truth and you are rightly dividing it. And also apply it to your life.
Don’t let your ministry take over your life. Your family needs you. Keep things in balance in terms of time and how much your spned iwth people. Don’t let people in your ministry monopolize your time and energy.
Include your children in your ministry. It is great to have them involved, and they learn lots of skills.
If you need any clarification or further information, just ask.
Another thing I thought of for young men going into the ministry is…do not neglect teaching your children the Word of God in your home. Yes, children will learn how to BE a Christian by watching your life as you are faithful to God and obeying his Word. But don’t take it for granted that your children will understand the Word or knnow the Word just because they hear you preach it for years and years. Take the time in your own family and home to impart God’s Word to them little by little consistently every day and to find out what they know or not, and to know where they are at with God.
Also, be open to your children when they come to you and are questioning their faith. Don’t react in an offensive way or even take it personally. Be open to hear them and to patiently and lovingly impart wisdom and God’s Word in those situations. Be the one they can come to when they have questions or are unsure of their own belief. Be there for them when they need you, more than even the ministry.
I second a lot of what you girls have said on here, about video games to the way a guy dresses…So, I won’t get into all that, its all been well said. One thing that concerns me, that I don’t think has been mentioned is smart phones, think about it, it is such easy access to anything on the internet, at anytime, anywhere. I have 2 older brothers and they have told me they will never get smart phones because it is such a big temptation. And I know now a days porn is everywhere, but why buy or use a smart phone that will cause more of a temptation then what is already out there? Again, I am not saying that every guy who has a smart phone is a porn addict. Just a big concern. And I can’t help but think, “whats he doing on that phone when he is all alone?”
I am a dreamer with a dash of go-to.
The main turn-off in guys for me is when they can’t keep their eyes off of other women. You can usually tell if a guy is consumed with lust…he’s always looking around the room and picking the pretty women out, but he doesn’t just glance, he continues to look over there and stare at times. Gentlemen will notice other females (because he is a male!) but he will not stare or keep looking. I look for a man that honors me with his eyes and manner. Also, how does he treat the waitresses at restaurants? If there is any flirting AT ALL, that would be a turn-off.
And I like men that are happy and see humor in life. And a hard-worker is a MUST.
I think this is an awesome opportunity to tell what we girls think without being out of place!!! We were asked our opinions and I am grateful for the chance to say mine.
I am 17 and I am a mix of all three personalities the one that is most predominant I’m not really sure 🙂
I am attracted to men that are confident. I like a man to be a leader but at the same time not bull headed. But caring about what other people think. Seems like there are too many guys that are the “know it all” type.
Also I am attracted to guys that take care of themselves and are clean but at the same time aren’t focused on what they look like.
I guess over all I am attracted to guys that have a balance in everything.
Agree with the lots of know it alls out there statement! Once heard someone say they were looking for Mr. Right but didn’t know his first name was Always! 😀
I am 17 yr old Canadian country girl and totally a servant. Yes, I hate it when guys wear skinny jeans or their pants hang way down! One of the biggest things I see at first glance is how they are dressed, how they act around people/treat them and the way guys carry them selves. I love what Kait said. I agreed completely. And yes,COWBOYS are at the top of my list as the best guys out there! Boots and chaps, and of course the HAT!! I like the ranch life style, how hard they work and that they aren’t afriad to get drity! I would like to marry a steady/visionary (cowboy!), their personality is very atractive. I like having a steady life but also exciting, if that makes sence. I love this website and thanks to all you wise people that share. I have learned so much!! Trying to learn what God has planned for my life, and for my future.
Mrs. Shalom, I really think your mom and dad need to mention something about cowboy hats in that book!!!! 🙂
lol!! 😀 I know, right?! I’m a sucker for cowboy hats, boots, shirts, etc! 🙂
I am a go-to/dreamer gal and I find myself attracted to strong leaders because I admire boldness and confidence. I respect guys who do the right thing even when they have to stand alone.
One of the biggest turn-offs for me is when a guy belittles or brushes off his younger siblings. If he isn’t being a good brother now, how can he expect to suddenly become a wonderful father later?
A “mama’s boy” is content to stagnate in the comfortable little bubble of man’s approval because he’s afraid that if he takes a leap of faith, he’ll fail.
And if he fails, he thinks that means he is a failure. But a righteous man can fall flat on his face seven times and get right back up! The mama’s boy doesn’t realize that in order to become a man, he must grow. To grow, one must be stretched. Stretching hurts, it burns, it stings, but it’s necessary in order to run the race with endurance and finish strong. When the “mama’s boy” takes a bold step out of his comfort-zone and into the heat of battle, he’s no longer a boy- he’s a man.
Well, I must put my input on the cowboy thing. 😉 Not so much into that look. Girls talk about how guys who wear skinny jeans and say “pretty boy” shirts are unattractive. Why? cause they seem full of themselves and look like they spend tons of money on their clothes. So, I say the same goes for the cowboy look, for me anyway, they still look like they spend a lot of money on clothes and attire. I mean really…do you know how much chaps, cowboy boots, and hats and all the other stuff they get cost? And not to mention I think “cowboys” are just as full of themselves as much as guys in skinny jeans. But, you cant always judge the book by its cover..some guys who look like cowboys or “city boys” may be very nice. Now if I had to chose, I would pick the cowboy cause yes they have a more manly look about being full of themselves… but I would rather just have a guy in jeans, work shirt, and work boots, I think thats the most manly! But what can I say, thats how my brothers and Daddy dress and they are the most manly men I know!!! So, i guess I’m kinda bias! 😉
Ruth, I agree with you somewhat. But it wholy depends on the guys heart. My brother wears skinny jeans and nice clothes but he has a good heart and is one of the hardest workers in the world! I actually like it sometimes “depending on the guy” to look a little bit full of himslef, if he has something to be full of himslef about. It makes them look more confident! haha! When he doesn’t that’s a whole differnet story!!!
Okay, I wasn’t going to say anything, but since you started it……..I’ll throw my 2 cents in. 🙂 Like you said, you certainly can’t judge a book by it’s cover, but I have a thing about the cowboy look as well. *disclaimer: I own and occasionally wear cowboy boots, Wranglers and western shirts. Where I live, that and country music are pretty much state citizenship requirements. 🙂 *
Around here, there are a lot of otherwise nice guys who completely lack ambition and drive (probably the biggest turn-off for me with guys) who spend their lives “cowboying” and “rodeoing.” They have no ambition to get an education (college or even high school for some of them) and are not remotely interested in getting a real job. (No, riding a bucking bronco and working for $6/hour as a ranch hand for your uncle do not count as real jobs.) These guys are “cool” because they look and act like they just came out of an episode of Bonanza. And of course they like it when the girls are all concerned about their latest broken rib or whatever injury they got at the last rodeo (where, by the way, they only stayed on for 2.5 seconds. 🙂 ) (Oh, and guys, having a hobby or “job” where you’re probably going to get killed or crippled from being bucked, jumped on, trampled on or gored is not a great way to attract a girl. Just sayin.)
Some of the sissiest guys I know are the cowboys. You know – the ones that wear $300 boots and name brand jeans and belt buckles the size of dinner plates and they drive those gigantic diesel pickups that their daddies bought them for their 16th birthdays. Yeah, those guys.
I don’t have anything wrong with the cowboy look – actually I like it. My brother dresses like that a lot (but he buys his boots, jeans, belt buckles and shirts when the western stores have those mega-clearance sales – college student budget, ya know!) It’s just the lazy, un-motivated mentality that tends to come with the clothes – at least around here – that I don’t like.
I am a Go-to girl.
A guy who is obsessive about any kind of ‘look’ (i.e., basketball/sports baggy; cowboy/tight jeans), or who is overly stylized is a major deterrent. Some one who 1) doesn’t pay attention to how they look or 2) pays too much attention to how they look clearly has their focus in the wrong place.
Occupation or obsession? Video games and TV/internet sports. I know guys like sports, and I don’t mind them having a interest in sports and watching them (I think it’s GREAT when they physically play), but turning on ESPN every night and getting updates on the latest play from whatever virtual game is going on displays a weakness of mind to me.
What would make me pull away from ‘the perfect guy’? A guy I don’t know who starts right off asking my dad if he can court me. That starts the relationship off on a difficult footing for a girl, because she is immediately inclined to get emotionally attached to the guy and try to ‘make it work’. It also gives me the sense that he hasn’t given it any thought beyond what I look like.
I know 10 year olds (my younger brother is one) who are more manly than some 25 year olds I’ve met. Mama’s boys – I like this question! A mama’s boy is a kidult who is constantly buckling under what his mom (or dad) says, and who can’t think for himself. Another sign of a mama’s boy is a (tough) boy who doesn’t respect his dad. This indicates (to me) that he has a bad image of manhood, and therefore will never even try to be a real man.
Mama’s boys are also lazy and unskilled. Pretty much when I can change my own car’s oil, tires and air filter, I’m not much into guys who don’t know anything about doing basic car repair and maintenance, and are still driving their parents’ car. And guys who still LIVE with their parents? Highly UNattractive.
What kind of man am I attracted to? I am drawn to the Steady/Priest type, with some Visionary (but not too much). I have so much respect for their ability to remain calm and sooth ruffled feathers. They have that quiet strength that completely fascinates me. I like to take charge, so that even-keeled, underlying inner strength mystifies me, and I admire it a lot. My 17 year old younger brother is this way, and one soft word from him has a more gentling impact on me than a million grand orders.
The Visionary helps to keep the Steady side from being too boring, though. A man’s got to have some passion and vision. Also, a man who can relate to all different age levels, from children to adults, is really magnetic. A man who can play with children, and later hold a conversation with a WWII vet, has a lot of maturity. Guys who brush children and older people off are just plain selfish.
I have the greatest respect for a man who is willing to simply be my friend and get to know me on that level before anything else is brought up. Friendship is key. It shows that he values me as a person rather than as another item or prize to add to his collection.
I don’t write ‘lists’ of what I ‘want’ in a man, but I do have three questions:
1) What is his relationship with God?
2) What is his relationship with his family?
3) How are his finances? Is he stable?
I’m NOT perfect, and I’ve got a lot to learn yet. My motto is ‘be the woman that the man you hope for would want to marry.’ My ultimate focus? Christ, and Him alone. And that is, to me, the most attractive thing in a man; a man who is totally given over to Christ.
Hi! I’m not sure whether this thread is still open for input, but I’ll add in my answers to the questions. 🙂
For me, major relationship deterrants are video gaming or computer obsessions. I would love to be a help meet for a man with goals and the ambition to meet those goals. Hours of computer recreation seems like such a waste of time with no practical or eternal benefit. To me, half of the fun of marriage would lie in being able to fully support your man in striving to realize his dreams and be all he can be for God. Therefore, you want a man with purpose, not a daydreamer.
Other man-type obsessions like hunting or target-practice don’t bother me. Going out shooting together is a lot of fun 🙂
As for behavior that typifies a “mama’s boy,” I would say that an able-bodied young man in his twenties who is still living at home (with no plans to leave) raises a red flag for me. If a man who has expressed interest in me is still living at home in his twenties, I am going to be analyzing 1.) is he still emotionally dependent on mom? 2) is he paying his parents for room and board or in some way paying his own way? 3) does he have a proven employment history such that he could even consider being able to support his own family? and 4) are there healthy boundaries and mutual respect between him and his parents? In essence, has he just defaulted into living at home because that was the easiest option available, or has he deliberately chosen to do so out of principle?
As a servant/go-to girl, I’m attracted to confident priest-type men with a streak of ambition. I have so much respect for their quiet diligence, steadiness, and kindness.
And finally the last question: “If you knew that the man you were going to be married to some day was going to be in the ministry, what would you want to tell him?”
“Be strong, be true, and follow God above all else–above me, above obstacles, and above successes. Be a man; and know that I support you all the way. Go get ’em!” 🙂
I am a go to gal attracted to king type because I like leadership.
I really agree with the points you ladies have made! Also, I would really want him to be very courageous and bold. I have seen faaaaaaaar too many boys grow up to be sissies because their father did not engage them in activities that forced them to develop courage and boldness.
Definitely for him to not be afraid to do a dirty job! I would probably be even more attracted to a man whose job is something dirty or involving hard physical labor because that shows me that he’s not a sissy that our possible future sons could emulate.
I would really really REALLY love for him to be able to work from home and/or involve our children in his work, especially the boys. They need to learn from their daddy the importance of hard work. Again, I have seen enough sissies and lazy boys/men to last me a lifetime!!
I so desperately want him to be a strong spiritual leader for our children. I have missed out on having spiritual leadership from my father, and I have seen the hugely negative effects this has had on our family, ESPECIALLY my brothers.
And guys, you honestly have NO idea how rare courtesy is. If you want to make an impression on a conservative Christian girl, show courtesy to other women (not just that one girl, but ALL women. It shows her that you’re not acting that way just for her, but that that is how your character is.)
I’m so glad this book is coming, and look forward to giving it to my brothers.
Oh my, I had to laugh about all the comments about cowboys (and pink)! Whether of the ranch hand, rodeo or drugstore variety, they’re just people. They are Godly, devilish, lazy, driven, tough-as-nails, wimps, handsome, homely, caring, callous, gamblers, world-class businessmen, complainers, stoics, compassionate, abusive, great husbands, womanizers, horsemen, horse lamers, rope-wizards, or not…
It seems to me that there’s a line we have to walk between having standards and humility. I snubbed this man (yes, he made a living cowboying). We were often at the same bbq’s/dances and when he introduced himself I judged him and wasn’t very nice. Later I found out how Godly of an example he was to some people, and I’ve never seen a more doting husband or father (he’s since married & had kids). I hope I learned my lesson.
Then, about pink shirts… The only guys who I’ve seen wear pink shirts were manly enough & confident enough to pull it off — and it made them look more masculine. Now, if you happen to marry a rodeo cowboy, and if he’s any good, then sooner or later he will be competing on a Tough Enough To Wear Pink night where he’s going to “have” to wear pink. Would you have your man scratch, and lose his entry fee and any chance of bringing home a pay check?
And yes, the clothes are expensive. It’s no fun having to buy them when you’re riding 14+ hrs/day for $50 bucks (my old life). But it’s the uniform for a reason. I’ve ruined great jeans by thinking it was ok to leave the chinks (short chaps) at home.
As for the questions (is the book already out?)
#1) Anything that draws him away from God. Trying to look like something he’s not.
#2) Complaining: Don’t complain, do something!
Also, if I feel like I’m tougher and braver than him, I’ll feel like his mama.
#3) I’m a dreamer that can fly too high & get blown one way & then another. I’d like a king, like my youngest brother, who anchors my dreams to reality & gives me something else to do! I love getting torn away from the “shoulds” of making my dreams reality & getting involved in someone else’s project. I need grounding. Just this morning, when I told my brother how I was going to use a large flat screen tv to build a multi-touch table monitor (for a computer) he put a halt to that with a serious discussion about opportunity costs.
#4) In the words of my grandfather, “When I graduated from bible college I was very ‘spiritual’ but I wasn’t a man.” And now, I’m paraphrasing. Jesus was the most human person that ever lived & the more we grow in him, the more human we become.