I was married to the most wonderful man ever when I was 21. I have a younger sister who is now 26, unmarried but with an intense desire to be married. I know many other young ladies in this state as well. I try to be encouraging in regards to pressing into your relationship with Christ, seeking God’s will as a single woman, serving others,etc. Sometimes the response is positive, but at other times, I feel like I am seen as insensitive and incapable of understanding the emotions of a prolonged waiting period. I can see the point. So my question is, would someone be willing to weigh in on these emotions and how we who are married can best help to edify and encourage? Thank you.
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Being a good help meet starts long before marriage. It is a mindset, a learned habit, a way of life established as a young unmarried girl—or at least that’s the way it should be. Nearly every wife will confess that the first year or two of married life was—how shall I say it—a frustrating learning experience.
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You are so sweet! I appreciate people who try to see others’ perspectives.
I am one of those “still waiting” girls. Every person handles things a little differently, so I can really only speak for myself…although I’m sure others share at least some of my feelings/experiences.
For me, the most encouraging thing married girls can do is to include me. Invite me to things you are doing. Most days, I don’t care that all the rest of you are married. Even if I say no, I still appreciate being included (some days a girls movie is just what I need, other days it might be too much).
If you are teaching a ladies class or women’s Bible study, be sure that at least some of the class applies to all ladies, regardless of marital or familial status. Speak to married women and moms too, just not exclusively. Make an effort to keep from suggesting that I could be married and as blissfully happy as everyone else if I would only…(fill in the blank here: lose weight, be more outgoing, be more quiet, change my hairstyle, learn how to apply makeup, be “more spiritual,” stop wanting to get married, etc.)
Be my friend. And let me be your friend. Not your “single friend,” just your friend. Focus our time together on things we both like to do, rather than our difference in marital status. If we’re studying the Bible together, let’s study about what makes us all better followers of Christ. if I bring up my singleness, that’s a good clue that I want to talk about it. Otherwise, I’m probably working hard to view myself as “God’s Servant (mynamehere),” rather than “(mynamehere) the Unattached.”
It is true, as a person who married young you cannot fully understand my experience. That’s okay, because Jesus can. He is the one with a plan for each of our lives, and He is the one who sustains us when that plan is hard or unclear. All you need to do is be a friend, maybe a shoulder to cry on. He will take care of the rest.