Question

Posted February 24, 2014

Well I was in a relationship with a guy, well sorta.  We Met at a camp we were both working at, and sorta hungout and that turned into a date, and we continued talking.  we have all the same wants and dreams for the future.  And for my crazy wants and wishes, thats somethin special! We have been talking and hanging out for about three months nmow, but he recently joined the military and will be going to bootcamp in May.  He has told me that he still wants to remain friends and stay in contact, and pick things up after bootcamp.  He knows a relationship is a lot of responsibility and with the stress of his life changing decision It will be too much for him to handle.  I totally respect his decision in this, even though I struggled with it at first.  But I realize I care about him too much to let this discourage me into moving on.  But I want to be there for him, even as a friend, problem is though I have never had friends that are guys.  So I’m not sure how exactly to be a friend to him, as dumb as that sounds. I want to get to know him better, but I don’t want to sound like an interragative, clingy girl that can’t let go.  So I just want to know how can I show him I’m there for him and find out more about him without sounding like a a controlling, clingy girl?  Any ideas?

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  1. kingsdaughter7

    When you said you were going to “pick up things” after he returned, did you mean that you were going to continue a relationship? Or remain friends? Because if you just want to remain friends then I think it would be best not to get too involved with him, emailing, texting, getting to know him etc. Because even if both of you as “friends” start with just a little, that little bit will grow more and more and your “friendship” will soon have strings attached. So let’s just say your “friend” finds another girl who he pursues… because you got to know him so well through lots of little things then you will be hurt, devastated.

    I think you should ask him right out front whether a relationship is possible in the future or if this was just a friendship. Of course girls can have guy friends. You can talk and make jokes with them, just make sure that if you remain friends that you mean it! From inside, out! Many have become “best friends” with the opposite gender and when they split ways or the other finds another possibility then they find that they had invested too much time with that person. Think, “if I were married to another man, would I be discouraged I showed this guy this much attention?” Hope this helped some!

    # March 5, 2014